Angels update

Hugggggs, Michelle
Oh Michelle... as you know, none of us are doctors or have the ability to make sense of what is going on and why Angel has to be in such pain. I just don't understand that, or how his doctors and the hospice nurses can just let him suffer in pain. Also, why does HE have to go into a pain clinic when he's in the pain he's in? If he was well enough to go to the pain clinic then chances are he wouldn't be in as much pain... and wouldn't have to actually go to the clinic.

Ok, not being from your State or country, I'm not sure how things work down here. I know up here, if a person requests to remain at home rather than go to a palliative care hospital floor or a palliative care home (I think the equivalent in the States is a Hospice Home?)... then all that would be done at the hospital for a patient in their last days, is done at home. Besides the comfort level for the patient to be surrounded by their own familiar surroundings, it also works out better for the health care system to supply care at the home than having the patient at the hospital.

I saw this first hand when my friend's husband died of lung cancer. The home care nurses that were there around the clock were all qualified to administer pain meds as needed and if they felt he needed more, it was just a phone call to the doctor and the meds were adjusted right there and then. The doctor also made regular visits out to the home. The home care nurses were there for the patient, but also for the family/friends who were there to support the patient... they were amazing and if one believes in angels on earth, then they are the palliative care home nurses (male and female).

So, I guess this is where I'm a little confused. You have mentioned that Angel does have hospice nurses coming out to the house and that the one nurse feels Angel needs to go to the pain clinic as well. Can she not arrange for the meds he needs, or arrange to have a doctor come out to the house NOW and set up the pain meds? The idea is that Angel should be resting comfortably and if it means he may be in a drugged state, if that's what it takes to take away his pain and stop the nausea, then that's what it takes. I'm not sure I understand why they are holding back on these meds?

Also, I realize your mother-in-law is there with you, but what sort of help and support are the two of you getting for YOU? It is an extremely hard thing to watch someone you love die, especially when you are having to do the cleanup, laundry, and all the physical stuff... the whole time watching him in pain. Where is the home support that you should be getting?

Like I say, I can't comment on something that I don't know anything about, so I'm just asking questions. I don't expect you, Michelle, to answer these questions. You have your hands and heart more than full... but maybe others who live in the State of Arizona can pop in and suggest help that is available that maybe you aren't aware of. There is no way you, your MIL and Angel should be struggling with this and watching the suffering. Saying goodbye is never easy, but your memories should be that he was comfortable and peaceful right up to the end... whether that is because of meds or not.

Huggggggs my friend!!

Cheryl