Mom's having to stop treatment

fighting for mom
fighting for mom Member Posts: 96
edited March 2014 in Colorectal Cancer #1
Where do I begin? My mom never has recovered from her 4th and 5th treatment. She got to the point where she couldn't walk, eat, barely talk. Her potassium got down to 2.2 and was severely dehydrated. I spent a week with her taking care of her and taking her to see her onc for daily ivs and potassium; and they put her on liquid potassium and opium for her diarrhea. She was still having diarrhea- explaining the symptoms. By last Friday potassium got up to 3.6- today it was down to 3.3. She drove herself there- told me she almost fell multiple times---do you think she shouldn't have been driving??? What judgment!?! At least they have valet parking and they wheel her in.

Today she reports she is able to take 10 steps with a walker, her speech sounds terrible. She is back to not eating very much.

It is so very hard to see her in such terrible shape. She rotates through oncologists at the clinic and now 2 of them have told her that even with the decrease in the 5FU and others it may just be too much for her system. They have been really good to try and adjust what they can and try new meds, etc.

I feel so torn between her body not able to catch up from the potassium depletion- they did increase her oral potassium today- and her not being able to finish the chemo. She had 5/12.

They downgraded her from a 3 to a 2 at the original onc visit. They say that she really didn't have to do the chemo- but she did to 'mop up'. I am scared to death at the possibilty of recurrance. If she couldn't go through the chemo this time--well if it does reoccur ---

I just cry at the thought of it all. Yet- since her diagnosis she has been steadfast in her faith. For- she couldn't say it better than to say this life is not the end!!!

I know this has been quite a hot topic- but when a person lives their life with faith- it is in everything they do and say. It isn't something that you can 'take out' of part of your day or post.

I pray everyday for those effected by cancer and their families. I pray that my mom won't have any reoccurances! I am so very thankful that she has such faith in God and is secure in how she has lived her life and she has so much more living to do-- I am not ready to part with her.

I am so blessed to have this forum and such wonderful support and encouraging words!

I am just so saddened- she was in pretty good shape when I left and now I am so far away and can't be there to help her when she needs it. I am thankful my Dad is staying so strong!

Comments

  • marc24
    marc24 Member Posts: 92
    #2
    hello...
    Hi...i joined this forum just a few days ago and my mother was diagnosed with a late stage cancer and is planned to get chemo very soon...so in a way we are in technically in the same situation..I hope my own mom will take the therapy well since our moms are very brave for doing these things and taking treatment.

    Your mom is greatful that she has you in her life. I pray and give you and your family all the good wishes. I am also concerned with my stepdad since he is a single child, and he just lost his mom less than a year ago and his dad a few years ago so he only as me and mom and his stepsons...but as far as your family, and in regards to religion..i am not the most religious person of all people but i do strongly believe that there is something/someone out there that explains the unexplainable and religion is a way for us to stay together and unite...whether or not people believe it in or not...best wishes and let us stay strong for our mothers..and relatives..and friends..
  • spongebob
    spongebob Member Posts: 2,565 Member
    #3
    FOR YOU AND YOUR FAMILY
    Mark -

    Keeping your mom, and you & your family in my thoughts and prayers.

    - SB
  • tootsie1
    tootsie1 Member Posts: 5,044 Member
    #4
    potassium
    I'm sorry your mom is having a hard time right now. When I was hospitalized for my surgery, my potassium was quite low, so they gave it to me in my IV. It did hurt like a big dog, but it brought my potassium up. It made my arm feel like it was going to drop off. A nurse had warned me that it could be quite painful, so when it did start feeling terrible, she slowed the drip down to the lowest level to relieve the pain. But it really did help the potassium level, so if your mom is having such a time with it, perhaps you should ask if they can give it to her that way.

    *hugs*
    Gail
  • usakat
    usakat Member Posts: 610 Member
    #5
    Tugging at my heart strings...
    Wow...your mom is a survivor! And an independent lady for sure...

    Hmmm....sometimes quality of life needs to enter into the conversation about how effective chemo really is, considering the long view.

    Just know we understand (it was really hard for me to watch my mom struggle so with cancer, especially the last time she got sick - it was harder for me to watch my mom endure cancer than it was for me to endure it myself). Let your mom know as often as you can that you care...

    Keeping your mom, you and the rest of your family in my thoughts and prayers.

    Katie
  • msccolon
    msccolon Member Posts: 1,917 Member
    #6
    Stay strong!
    I am so sorry your mother is having such a hard time with this beast. I agree with Katie, quality of life definitely has to be considered when in this battle. Perhaps you need to look at not stopping chemo, necessarily, but taking a break from it until your mother's body has a chance to recover and strengthen from what it has already been asked to endure. Your job is hard, so remember to take care of yourself as well.
    mary
  • kmygil
    kmygil Member Posts: 876 Member
    #7
    Caretaking
    You are such a wonderful child to your parent. Your Mom is very lucky to have you supporting her, helping her and worrying about her. Perhaps your mother can take a break until she rallies strenthwise. Have you discussed this with the onc? Also, like Mary said, you have to take care of yourself, as well, or you won't be any good to anyone. Caretakers have a hard, hard job and you are angels.

    Hugs,
    Kirsten
  • VickiCO
    VickiCO Member Posts: 917
    #8
    kmygil said:

    Caretaking
    You are such a wonderful child to your parent. Your Mom is very lucky to have you supporting her, helping her and worrying about her. Perhaps your mother can take a break until she rallies strenthwise. Have you discussed this with the onc? Also, like Mary said, you have to take care of yourself, as well, or you won't be any good to anyone. Caretakers have a hard, hard job and you are angels.

    Hugs,
    Kirsten

    I agree
    Caregivers are cut from Angel cloth. You have been so strong for your Mom, keep on fighting. I know it's scary, but the one thing she needs now is YOU, and you have proven that you are up to the task. As Kristen says, maybe a break from chemo would give her the strength she needs to fight.

    Many hugs for you as well as your Mom. Vicki
  • PhillieG
    PhillieG Member Posts: 4,866 Member
    #9
    Your Mom
    Sorry to hear that your Mom is having such a hard time. Maybe if they said he chemo wasn't necessary that she could stop it. I don't think it's good to obsess about what MIGHT happen. Any one of us can die from anything on any given day so why have that drive your decision. You certainly do not want the treatment to be the thing that does her in.
    As I've always said, whatever works and however one gets through this is the way to go.
    It sounds like she's got a great support.
    -phil
  • kimby
    kimby Member Posts: 797
    #10
    Mom's Chemo
    I'm sorry to hear how tough things are right now. As my onc loves to tell me, "This isn't a contest to see how tough you are." And it isn't. She can handle what she can. She's gotten some chemo in her and there really is no evidence that more is better. We don't know how much is enough for anyone, we only know what their bodies can handle.

    Quality of life is always, always important. You don't want the treatment to take away from her living her life. Talk to the doctors and help your mother make the best decision for her, but don't waste too much time worrying it it's enough. Sounds like plenty to me.

    Kimby
  • lisa42
    lisa42 Member Posts: 3,625 Member
    #11
    taking a break
    Hi,

    I'd like to commend you for being such a great caretaker for your mom. I know when I got cancer, my mom told me through her tears "I wish it were me instead". No one wants to watch someone they love go through this. While it's obviously tough on the person actually going through it, it's often tougher on the caregiver as they feel helpless to control it.
    Again- bless you for being there for your mom.

    With that, I'm going to echo what Mary said- it could be possible that your mom might be able to take some chemo again after a needed break from it. She obviously needs a break to gain her strength and to have a little time to reduce the toxicity levels in her body, but it doesn't neccesarily have to mean that she will have to stop all chemo alltogether. Please discuss that option with doctors. Also- discuss the possibility of Avastin- there are studies out recently that it can be effective in keeping cancer from recurring by stopping the blood flow to any possible tumor cells that may be "floating around" in the body. Look into it.

    Take care and God bless,
    Lisa
  • fighting for mom
    fighting for mom Member Posts: 96
    #12
    thanks for the encouraging words
    Thank you so so much for all the encouraging words- it gives me so much strength and comfort! The new plan is to see how all her levels are next Tuesday and schedule a colonoscopy to ensure all is clear- I hope they will also do a follow up CT- and she will meet with her surgeon hopefully before Tuesday. From all that info Mom will hopefully be able to make a decision to either continue on only 5FU and oxiplatin---they will d/c the 5FU push and the levocoruin (sp?) OR not continue with chemo.

    Is there a combo used with the avistan? Side effects that anyone has seen or been through? I know it can differ for everyone but it is good to have a heads up. I appreciate the recommendation and will definitely get the info to Mom tonight! Information and education is power. Everyone here has been so helpful with info-just too bad it's because of own personal journeys. But I am so glad so many people have been helped on their own journeys through others.

    I pray that the decision will not be a difficult one for my Mom.

    Thank you all so much for your kind and encouraging words! I so appreciate the comfort they bring!

    Susan
  • msccolon
    msccolon Member Posts: 1,917 Member
    #13
    fighting for mom said:

    thanks for the encouraging words
    Thank you so so much for all the encouraging words- it gives me so much strength and comfort! The new plan is to see how all her levels are next Tuesday and schedule a colonoscopy to ensure all is clear- I hope they will also do a follow up CT- and she will meet with her surgeon hopefully before Tuesday. From all that info Mom will hopefully be able to make a decision to either continue on only 5FU and oxiplatin---they will d/c the 5FU push and the levocoruin (sp?) OR not continue with chemo.

    Is there a combo used with the avistan? Side effects that anyone has seen or been through? I know it can differ for everyone but it is good to have a heads up. I appreciate the recommendation and will definitely get the info to Mom tonight! Information and education is power. Everyone here has been so helpful with info-just too bad it's because of own personal journeys. But I am so glad so many people have been helped on their own journeys through others.

    I pray that the decision will not be a difficult one for my Mom.

    Thank you all so much for your kind and encouraging words! I so appreciate the comfort they bring!

    Susan

    Avastin
    I've been on Avastin pretty much non-stop since September of 06. When I was on FOLFIRI, it was given with that, every 2 weeks. When I'm not on regular chemo, I just go in for Avastin every 3 weeks. Outside of nasal drip and occasional nose bleeds, and occasional pains in the abdominal area, I don't really have ANY affects. When I first started getting it by itself it used to make me tired the night of the infusion, but now I don't really feel any affects. I could go back to work when I get home after infusion, but I give myself the afternoon off for enduring yet again a stick in the port! I am on blood pressure medication because it is known to raise blood pressure and has with mine. The meds do the trick and I don't have any more problems with that. It can cause bleeding issues, and maybe somebody who has experiences problems with that will chime in. It does slow healing, so you can't have any surgery, major dental work, etc within 3 weeks of receiving a treatment.
    mary

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