Tough day...

Sonia32
Sonia32 Member Posts: 1,071 Member
edited March 2014 in Colorectal Cancer #1
Hi before I start off with my own situation, just wanted to say I got really upset over the posts that have been flying around in regards to religion. This forum although I have only been here a week I feel like it's a safe haven. You are all from different walks of life, religious or not, but we all share one thing in common that is cancer. This forum is so positive and inspirational, I have read posts from people who have not used God, I have read posts from people who have. I have not been offended at all. I'm just so glad there is a place online where I can come to, and find great people like yourself, and I hope what ever your thoughts or opinions never change, and that you all stick around.

Ok not sure how it is in USA, but in England if you are about to get cancer treatment you can get the option of freezing your eggs. I went to the specialist today with my husband, have to say it was disheartening. My surgeon was very cavilar when he mentioned that if I wanted a family I could get my eggs out, then put back in after treatment. Because I have been through a lot in the last few weeks I have not read up on it, and accepted what he said. Apprently if your eggs get damaged during treatment, and you use your spares its only 20/30% chance it can work. If you do go through with it, then you delay your treatment for at least a month while you go through the whole IVF process, scans, injections daily, then surgery, to get eggs out if its worked. I just feel so drained, feel like the last 6 weeks or so have been going to hell and back, I'm not sure if I could go through anymore treatments. But anyhow she has given e time to think about it.

Dumping syndrome getting me down as well, last night had an episode of late dumping, but I didnt panic when I started to feel light headed, heart racing again, deep breathing, and sips of coke seemed to help, as because of the late dumping my blood sugar dropped again hence the light headed feeling.
Thats got me down

Then weird dreams of my mum (who has passed on) driving us (my bro, sis and I ) in my car for shopping, then she misses a turn to shops, and drives to close to wall, then I get out there are some wholes one in particular thatr is just a whole and gone through. I really got worried this morning thinking alsorts, what if its spread etc (which really has worried me for weeks). But if I'm honest I think its more worries about spreading, and possibly trip to fertility doc (hole in dream, possibly meaning egg, as doc did draw a circle to symbolize an egg) lol

Awww I'm sorry everyone for laying this out on here, just feeling very down and needed to share. Sorry for rambling on.
Sonia

Comments

  • msccolon
    msccolon Member Posts: 1,917 Member
    #2
    Hi Sonia
    Sorry you are having such a hard time it! I am much too old to be concerned about the whole fertility thing, but I can certainly understand how hard it must be for you young gals; just another reason that this beast just totally sucks! I am sure you will get some other posts from the other ladies, but I wanted to let you know you aren't alone in feeling overwhelmed; it's normal. There's a lot of things this beast changes, and there's a definite time of grieving necessary to adjust! I am sure your dream is representative of all the worries you have right now, and I am also sure that if you wish, you could interpret it to mean just about anything! I hope you are feeling better soon!
    mary
  • angelsbaby
    angelsbaby Member Posts: 1,165 Member
    #3
    Rambling
    This is the place for that Ive done it alot, take care

    michelle
  • Kathleen808
    Kathleen808 Member Posts: 2,342 Member
    #4
    sonia
    Hi Sonia,
    You're right, it is so much that you have been going through. I know it is quite different but Lance Armstrong had his sperm frozen before he started treatment for his cancer. He now has 2 beautiful kids. I'll keep you in my prayers as you make this decision. This is a great place to let it all out.
    Aloha,
    Kathleen
  • Sonia32
    Sonia32 Member Posts: 1,071 Member
    #5
    msccolon said:

    Hi Sonia
    Sorry you are having such a hard time it! I am much too old to be concerned about the whole fertility thing, but I can certainly understand how hard it must be for you young gals; just another reason that this beast just totally sucks! I am sure you will get some other posts from the other ladies, but I wanted to let you know you aren't alone in feeling overwhelmed; it's normal. There's a lot of things this beast changes, and there's a definite time of grieving necessary to adjust! I am sure your dream is representative of all the worries you have right now, and I am also sure that if you wish, you could interpret it to mean just about anything! I hope you are feeling better soon!
    mary

    Thanks Mary...
    for replying hugs. Really do feel like I have been through the wars, but I know I'm not the only one feeling this and we all have in our own way. Feeling a bit better today, but still having crazy dreams about reoccurance now staring cartoon characters lol. I don't know starting to get use to them now, coming here really helps to know I'm not going mad with my thoughts, and fears etc. Although dreaming of cartoon characters lol
    No seriously hugs thank you for replying
  • Sonia32
    Sonia32 Member Posts: 1,071 Member
    #6
    angelsbaby said:

    Rambling
    This is the place for that Ive done it alot, take care

    michelle

    Thanks Michelle
    I'm sure you'll all get sick of me rambling, but glad to know I can come here.
    Hugs
  • Sonia32
    Sonia32 Member Posts: 1,071 Member
    #7
    Kathleen808 said:

    sonia
    Hi Sonia,
    You're right, it is so much that you have been going through. I know it is quite different but Lance Armstrong had his sperm frozen before he started treatment for his cancer. He now has 2 beautiful kids. I'll keep you in my prayers as you make this decision. This is a great place to let it all out.
    Aloha,
    Kathleen

    Thanks Kathleen
    Really do appreciate the prayers, heck prayers, good wishes, anything I'm grateful :-)

    As for what I'm going to do re IVF, I will try and speak to oncologist today see if I can get to see him for a pelimonary chat. Find out whether I can afford to wait another 4 weeks without treatment (I have been told from the date of the surgery, they have a 12week window which within they have to start). Then I can weigh up both what he says and the fertility doctor.

    Hope you and your husband are ok

    Hugs
    Sonia.
  • mom_2_3
    mom_2_3 Member Posts: 953 Member
    #8
    There are a number of pregnancies
    Sonia,

    At my oncologist's practice there are a number of pregnant women (some were/are even Stage IV survivors) who have been able to conceive after treatment, however, you will give yourself more opportunities later on if you take the time now to do the egg harvesting. I know that it sounds now like a lot of work and effort to do the process but you can look at it as something filled with hope and joy for the future for when you're cancer-free and are able to start your family. If I was in your position I would start the process immediately.
  • kmygil
    kmygil Member Posts: 876 Member
    #9
    IVF
    Hi Sonia,

    I am so sorry you are having such a hard time. I don't know much about IVF, but I do know a lady with stage 3 brest cancer who had treatments all through her pregnancy. She just gave birth a month ago and the baby is fine and thriving. I cannot totally understand what you are dealing with since I never had or wanted children, but go ahead and vent. We are here to listen. Then find new hope and carry on the fight. You are stronger than you think.

    Hugs and prayers,
    Kirsten
  • tootsie1
    tootsie1 Member Posts: 5,044 Member
    #10
    Sorry
    Sonia,

    I'm sorry you're having such a hard time. I know you have so much to deal with right now. I hope you will feel stronger physically and emotionally soon.

    *hugs*
    Gail

    P.S. All my life I've dealt with things through dreams. It's how I work out so many things in my life.
  • Sonia32
    Sonia32 Member Posts: 1,071 Member
    #11
    Hugs to you all
    I have decided I will speak to my oncologist, hopefully should be next week, and then decided from there.
    I just think, I'm just afraid, of going through more tests etc. I do know one thing if I do it, I'm not going to have general anesthetic, they can just whip the eggs out while I'm awake. :-)

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