Marriage over???

Caregivers......
I am sorry about your marriage but your first priority is yourself and if you did what you needed to do to get through this battle it may be that your caregiver (hubby) found it to hard to deal with. He may need a break from all the stress that this disease brings on, or he may just not want to deal with any of it at all. I don't know the answers, but I do know that the first concern is getting you well so that you can be happy yourself. No one will be happy until you are. So, first lets work on you finding your joy again.
From what I gather you have been NED for two years, and still NED. Thats great, but its evident that you are one of us that seem to dwell on the idea that it will come back. Maybe it will and maybe it won't. But, are you going to be one that sits back and waste your whole life because of something that may never occur ? BE HAPPY!!! Period, you have beat the disease and are NED...It is to celebrate for. My wife and I have grown apart some but only because the disease has changed the way we live somewhat, but it has also changed the way I or we think now too. We attend church, we are more family oriented now with our family and children and friends. It has changed our whole lives together but differently than it changed yours and for that I am truly sorry.
You have to have something to smile about or the NED is useless. I had to occupy my spare time while treatments and things went on but now that the end (of treatment) is near I find myself really anxious to get out and start doing the things I did before this crap tried to take over my life. I gave it a year of my life I will never get back, although it was a year I used to bring my relatives closer to me, it is still a year of hardship and emotional ups and downs.
I am just happy to be alive and to see another day or month or year(s) for my kids and wife and family. To be able to fish and hunt and camp and do the things I love to do. I will not look back or worry about things I can't control. I will as you should, turn them over to God and let Him carry the burdens for you and then you start enjoying yourself. No more emotional highs and lows just simply the joy of being alive and well and NED. Most of all you have to smile, it has the best healing properties there are. You are a very beautiful woman and also a woman that probably has a lot of love to give. Don't give up on anything, but never slow down for anything either for when you do, you waste the time that you worked so hard for while in treatment. You deserve the NED, you deserve the best of it all because you have been through the worst of it all. You are a winner and you need to smile like your avatar, and start enjoying life, whereever it leads you.......God Bless you hun and Good luck.

I am so sorry...
My heart goes out to you. My husband and I found out about my CC 5 months into our marriage (2008). We eloped and then had a family and friends ceremony in June (exactly 1 month after my resection surgery). Unfortunately that was also the worst year of my life and was definitely not how I wanted to start my marriage. We've gone to counseling and are taking it one day at a time.

I am truly sorry for what you must be going through, but if it's meant to be, it will be. Maybe this could be a fresh start for you.

Hugs and Hope,
Elizabeth

So Sorry
I am so sorry to hear about your marriage. This would be the toughest time for a break up for me. I no that stess is the worst thing for a person with cancer. I felt my husband slipping away from me also about 1 1/2 yrs. ago. When I found I had stage 4 colon cancer he kind of shape up. He was a drinker and going out all the time. Plus he is 15 yrs. youger than me I don't know if that had anything to do with it. But ever since I have found out I had cancer he turned around 95%. He actually acts like he loves me again. Which helps me because I don't think I could handle a break up at this point. So I will be thinking of u through your difficult time. be strong.
Take Care Colleen

Kiersten
I am so sorry that
Kiersten

I am so sorry that you are going through some tough time-but you show the survival attitude one needs to navigate this stupid disease. After cancer it takes more than a year or two to get your own bearings again. I am ten years out from diagnosis (at 36) and I can well remember the soul searching that I did during the early years. There is so much confusion...it is no wonder that other parts of your life get a little rocky. It is time for you to find whatever it is that makes you happy and keeps you waking up ready to take on the world! It could take a while...but it will happen. Be strong-you are the survivor after all!

It's hard
Dear Kiersten,

I bet if you took a poll here or anywhere else with lots of cancer survivors, you would find that 100% of them had undergone change because of their experience with cancer. You just can't face something like this without being altered by it. I know that I tend to be more introspective now and more focused on myself at times. More moody. More lots of things!

Even though my husband and I have been married almost 33 years, I can tell you that we have had some bumps since this journey started. It's just hard to go through!

I will be praying for you to find peace within yourself, first of all. And I will also pray that you and your husband might find your way back to each other, if possible. If not, I pray that life will have something wonderful ahead for you!

*hugs*
Gail

Stress Strains
Hi Kiersten,
I'm sorry that you have to go through this. Often with tragidies or stressful situations (the loss of a child as an example) can either makes one's bond with their spouse tighter or it can make it come apart. On the positive side he stayed by you when you really needed him to. That says a lot about how he felt about you. People drift apart, in some ways my marriage has improved but in other ways it has not. At least you are 2 years NED, that's great.
Maybe you'll meet a great guy named Ned???
The roughest part is over Kiersten.
-phi

hard time
I'm so sorry to hear this. It saddens me. Cancer is hard enough and changes our lives forever. Some grow closer and some farther apart. I'm praying for you to find joy and for the strength you'll need. I to had to seek treatment for depression. I had two close calls with suicide thank God at those times I picked up the phone and didn't do what I was thinking of doing. Cancer support groups are helpful too. God bless.

Good luck you have a survivors attitude
I know you are strong and you will come through this too. I wish you strength. You have been through much, and don't deserve more pain. I hope you find joy and I am sure you will.

Mike