down in the dumps

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  • divablu
    divablu Member Posts: 75
    #22
    You'll love this ... I just
    You'll love this ... I just typed you several paragraphs of support and darned if I didn't hit something and erase the whole thing! Must be chemo brain. So, I'll try again, but be short and sweet!

    I am still struggling with the mood swings and doubts. I finished chemo in January and was elated. I met with my radiologist on Friday 13th, walked into the reception area and started crying. The receptionist gave me a big hug and all I could say was that I was scared. I am. I continue to torture myself with will the cancer be gone, will I get my strength back, what will the next treatment bring.

    Last week I considered taking all the Xanax and hydrocodon I have here in the house. Between my health and our financial problems I was ready to throw in the towel. I talked with a friend on the phone today and she encouraged me to get counseling and talk to the doctor about changing my antidepressant. I'll start that tomorrow.

    My heart goes out to you. I'll help you and you can help me. Let's keep reminding each other that Spring is right around the corner and with spring comes new beginnings, more sun, more energy for us all.

    Try taking some walks, no matter how short, each step counts. Find a friend to walk with you. I like to take my Red Dog on my walks. He's a good friend and doesn't talk back! After my first chemo treatment I was trilled to be able to walk out to the barn and see my horses again. Take those little steps and savor each one. They build up, and so will you.

    What makes you happy? Find that and focus on it. What was your favorite book? Pick it up and read it again. I started reading "Like Water For Chocolate" again.

    Here's a big hug ((((((O)))))) from me. Please think of me as your friend and let me know when you are up and when you are down. Maybe we can help each other find our way through this.

    HUGGS!
  • rjjj
    rjjj Member Posts: 1,822 Member
    #23
    divablu said:

    You'll love this ... I just
    You'll love this ... I just typed you several paragraphs of support and darned if I didn't hit something and erase the whole thing! Must be chemo brain. So, I'll try again, but be short and sweet!

    I am still struggling with the mood swings and doubts. I finished chemo in January and was elated. I met with my radiologist on Friday 13th, walked into the reception area and started crying. The receptionist gave me a big hug and all I could say was that I was scared. I am. I continue to torture myself with will the cancer be gone, will I get my strength back, what will the next treatment bring.

    Last week I considered taking all the Xanax and hydrocodon I have here in the house. Between my health and our financial problems I was ready to throw in the towel. I talked with a friend on the phone today and she encouraged me to get counseling and talk to the doctor about changing my antidepressant. I'll start that tomorrow.

    My heart goes out to you. I'll help you and you can help me. Let's keep reminding each other that Spring is right around the corner and with spring comes new beginnings, more sun, more energy for us all.

    Try taking some walks, no matter how short, each step counts. Find a friend to walk with you. I like to take my Red Dog on my walks. He's a good friend and doesn't talk back! After my first chemo treatment I was trilled to be able to walk out to the barn and see my horses again. Take those little steps and savor each one. They build up, and so will you.

    What makes you happy? Find that and focus on it. What was your favorite book? Pick it up and read it again. I started reading "Like Water For Chocolate" again.

    Here's a big hug ((((((O)))))) from me. Please think of me as your friend and let me know when you are up and when you are down. Maybe we can help each other find our way through this.

    HUGGS!

    Talk of Spring
    Good morning. Just a thought..i have been on anti-depressants for years. I know that in our situation there is so much fear and anger that we really can't help but become depressed. I was diagnosed with SAD (seasonal affective desease) and know that it REALLY DOES make a difference if the sun is shining. I was told to get sun lamps etc. which i never did do just tried to get out in the sun. I also garden and sometimes just sit by the garden and watch my plants get watered..for hours! being stuck in the house now sucks! I hope when spring comes around it will bring joy, happiness, and lots of hope for us all.........Here comes the sun....little darlin.......
    God Bless, Jackie
  • Derbygirl
    Derbygirl Member Posts: 198
    #24
    Life after breast cancer is
    Life after breast cancer is very different. Exhausted, anxious, discomfort and worried about recurrence...we all share those feelings. I read a book called "After Breast Cancer" by Hester Hill Schnipper and it discusses the emotional and physical healing after treatment. The book helped me a great deal. Some exercise and healthier eating are helping with the new version of Me since I finished treatment on Christmas Eve 2008. You will feel better some day and I hope your bad days are far and few between.
  • mimivac
    mimivac Member Posts: 2,143 Member
    #25
    Depression and fatigue
    Peggy and Lynn,

    I am not done with treatment, but I know about the fear accompanying the fatigue. Sometimes it feels as though you will never get your energy back, and that thought is very frightening. Depression hits me when I am not feeling well, which makes me feel worse, and the whole thing becomes a tiring, awful cycle. I am sorry you are going through this. Sometimes I find that being delicate and methodical with yourself can help. When I feel like just lying on the couch, I tell myself to slowly do one thing, like a sink of dishes, reading a chapter in a book, making a cup of tea, or drawing a bubble bath. Activity always, always makes me feel better, no matter how small. The problem, of course, is getting there when you are depressed. Pare down your to-do list to something manageable so you will have a sense of accomplishment. Chemo brain and the effects of chemo after treatment are real and happen to almost everyone. But what is also real is that you will get better. Your body and mind have been through perhaps the hardest stuggle of your life and you need time to heal. Be easy on yourself through this. I think exercise (as possible and in small doses) helps both in the short and long run. I plan to take up yoga, meditation, and thi chi soon as well as re-join the gym when my treatments are over.

    Just wanted to add that I am on lexapro, too, and it can cause fatigue when you first start taking it. My solution was to halve my dose (with doctor approval) to 5 mlg. That way I was still getting the benefits without the side effects. But this may not work for major depression, so please don't take my advice, but talk to your doctor instead. It can take many weeks for the effects to manifest. Good luck and keep posting.
  • peggy65
    peggy65 Member Posts: 100
    #26
    Derbygirl said:

    Life after breast cancer is
    Life after breast cancer is very different. Exhausted, anxious, discomfort and worried about recurrence...we all share those feelings. I read a book called "After Breast Cancer" by Hester Hill Schnipper and it discusses the emotional and physical healing after treatment. The book helped me a great deal. Some exercise and healthier eating are helping with the new version of Me since I finished treatment on Christmas Eve 2008. You will feel better some day and I hope your bad days are far and few between.

    thank you all for your
    thank you all for your loving and caring thoughts. tears actually came to my eyes as i read all of the posts. what a difference it makes to know that you are not alone. after a while you start to think that you are a hypochondriac or something. i am still trying to figure out who i am, i know that i am not the woman i used to be. gosh, i sort of the opposite. i used to have so much energy and excitement for life, worked hard and felt that i was making a difference. now i don't feel any of those things. as one of you said, you never know when you get up what kind of a day it is going to be, yeah, i understand that. doing things is major and i am hesitant to make plans with friends for fear that i will have to cancel. you know i am reading this over and i hate it. for all you who are ahead of me with treatment, i have to believe you when you say that this too shall pass. and one day the fog will begin to go away and you will have a life again. i used to be a very positive and happy person, thanks for all of your advice, i really appreciate it. love, peggy
  • peggy65
    peggy65 Member Posts: 100
    #27
    mimivac said:

    Depression and fatigue
    Peggy and Lynn,

    I am not done with treatment, but I know about the fear accompanying the fatigue. Sometimes it feels as though you will never get your energy back, and that thought is very frightening. Depression hits me when I am not feeling well, which makes me feel worse, and the whole thing becomes a tiring, awful cycle. I am sorry you are going through this. Sometimes I find that being delicate and methodical with yourself can help. When I feel like just lying on the couch, I tell myself to slowly do one thing, like a sink of dishes, reading a chapter in a book, making a cup of tea, or drawing a bubble bath. Activity always, always makes me feel better, no matter how small. The problem, of course, is getting there when you are depressed. Pare down your to-do list to something manageable so you will have a sense of accomplishment. Chemo brain and the effects of chemo after treatment are real and happen to almost everyone. But what is also real is that you will get better. Your body and mind have been through perhaps the hardest stuggle of your life and you need time to heal. Be easy on yourself through this. I think exercise (as possible and in small doses) helps both in the short and long run. I plan to take up yoga, meditation, and thi chi soon as well as re-join the gym when my treatments are over.

    Just wanted to add that I am on lexapro, too, and it can cause fatigue when you first start taking it. My solution was to halve my dose (with doctor approval) to 5 mlg. That way I was still getting the benefits without the side effects. But this may not work for major depression, so please don't take my advice, but talk to your doctor instead. It can take many weeks for the effects to manifest. Good luck and keep posting.

    mimivac, thanks for the
    mimivac, thanks for the posting. it really is scary when you have been feeling a certain way(fatigue) for so long and the symptom does not change.i also am bummed when i think about chemo brain. i really can't remember things like word retrieval or going to the store for laundry detergent and coming home with everything but! you are so right when you say our bodies and minds are on overdrive. i tried to visualize this and find it hard especially when i look in the mirror and i look fine. i'm working on it. paring down the to do list is also something i have to do. again, i look fine so why can't i do everything that i used to. of course i know i can't but i guess i am still angry about it. your post meant so much to me and helped me. just think someone who isn't even finished with treatment has the thing figured out. yeah! how far along are you anyway. when i was in treatment, i really did not think like that because i was so focused on the treatment. it was only after i was done did it hit me. hats off to you for having your house in order. love, peggy
  • mimivac
    mimivac Member Posts: 2,143 Member
    #28
    peggy65 said:

    mimivac, thanks for the
    mimivac, thanks for the posting. it really is scary when you have been feeling a certain way(fatigue) for so long and the symptom does not change.i also am bummed when i think about chemo brain. i really can't remember things like word retrieval or going to the store for laundry detergent and coming home with everything but! you are so right when you say our bodies and minds are on overdrive. i tried to visualize this and find it hard especially when i look in the mirror and i look fine. i'm working on it. paring down the to do list is also something i have to do. again, i look fine so why can't i do everything that i used to. of course i know i can't but i guess i am still angry about it. your post meant so much to me and helped me. just think someone who isn't even finished with treatment has the thing figured out. yeah! how far along are you anyway. when i was in treatment, i really did not think like that because i was so focused on the treatment. it was only after i was done did it hit me. hats off to you for having your house in order. love, peggy

    Thanks, Peggy
    Although I don't how orderly my house really is! We are all struggling in way or another, it's true. The anger that you are not the same person is surely justified. I liked who I was before, and it sounds like you did, too. But Peggy, I really believe that you are still all of that and so much more now. You made it through -- and are still making it through -- one of life's hardest struggles. Not everyone goes through the physical and emotional hardships of cancer and its treatments. I've been thinking about journaling. Maybe writing down all of the things I did that I am proud of, big and small. Like today in the evening I would write that I went to work, exercised, cooked and ate a healthy dinner, and relaxed with a novel. Not monumental, but for someone going through what we are going through, pretty good. Step by step, Peggy.

    Mimi
  • tasha_111
    tasha_111 Member Posts: 2,072
    #29
    lynn1950 said:

    Turquoise Tasha
    I'm thinking spring may help me too. Where the snow has melted, I see skinny green crocus spears, reminding me of the resilience of life. I wanna get there too!

    I HATE not being who I used to be, and I don't deal well with uncertainty either. Some parameters, PLEASE!

    Here's an abrupt change of subject: What good books have your read lately?

    Lynn

    Lynn
    You sound absolutely gorgeous! I'm going to have to adopt you!... as for books.......well Tom Sharpe (Very good, pretty rude...Hilarious) anything by Catherine Cookson, Julie Garwood, David Baldachi, Tami Hoag. Hey I'll read the telephone directory rather than read nothing! LOL.. Drives my husband nuts (Like he wasn't anyway) What have you got stuck into lately...? (books I mean)

    HUGE HUGGS!!!!!!!! J xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
  • mimivac
    mimivac Member Posts: 2,143 Member
    #30
    lynn1950 said:

    Turquoise Tasha
    I'm thinking spring may help me too. Where the snow has melted, I see skinny green crocus spears, reminding me of the resilience of life. I wanna get there too!

    I HATE not being who I used to be, and I don't deal well with uncertainty either. Some parameters, PLEASE!

    Here's an abrupt change of subject: What good books have your read lately?

    Lynn

    Great new fiction
    I am reading "Lark and Termite" by Jayne Ann Phillips. Wonderful novel so far. I like to reward myself these days by going to Borders and buying brand new hardcover books. I like to hold them in my hands and feel like I am surrounded by beautiful things.

    You may not need more reminders, but I am finding "Anti-Cancer: A New Way of Life" by David Servan-Schreiber very inspiring. He talks about nutirition, emotional issues, and going through cancer diagnosis and treatment. He is a doctor who was diagnosed with brain cancer at age 31 and given a poor prognosis. He had a relapse seven years after initial diagnosis, but now, at age 47, remains cancer free. I look forward to going home from work so I can read these two books on my couch with a nice cup of tea.

    Mimi
  • Eil4186
    Eil4186 Member Posts: 949
    #31
    Peggy, I know it is very
    Peggy, I know it is very frustrating. There are so many things you want to do, among them to feeling like your old self, but you just don't feel up to it. It will eventually pass though. It does take a while. I don't know if our bodies will ever really be just as they were before treatment, but then again just the march of time leaves its mark of change.

    Hang in there, give yourself permission to take it easy and just remind yourself that you have been through the wringer and it will take time. You must be patient and kind to yourself. With time you will begin to see a difference. Take care, Eil
  • lynn1950
    lynn1950 Member Posts: 2,570
    #32
    tasha_111 said:

    Lynn
    You sound absolutely gorgeous! I'm going to have to adopt you!... as for books.......well Tom Sharpe (Very good, pretty rude...Hilarious) anything by Catherine Cookson, Julie Garwood, David Baldachi, Tami Hoag. Hey I'll read the telephone directory rather than read nothing! LOL.. Drives my husband nuts (Like he wasn't anyway) What have you got stuck into lately...? (books I mean)

    HUGE HUGGS!!!!!!!! J xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

    Dirty little secret
    Tash - I've been known to read telephone directories. Especially if I am in a motel in a town that I'm not familiar with. I'm sure it says something not very nice about me, when in the same drawer there IS a Gideon's Bible available. I usually have a book with me anyway. I've never heard of Tom Sharpe, but if you like very good and hilarious, have you read anything by Nicholas Hornby? I've listened to books by David Baldacci (while I garden), but I haven't read the other authors.

    Thanks for specifying stuck in books. I just went through a Salman Rushdie phase including The Ground Beneath Her Feet and The Enchantress of Florence (which I totally unappreciated while I was reading, but since then have learned that it belongs to an actual literary genre and is pretty factual, so I almost have to read it again, but I am not THAT disciplined). So many books, so little time. I am reading a book called Sophie's World which I picked up at the thrift store. It's about the history of philosphy and I'm not sure I like it. I am listening to CD's of Bill Moyer interviewing Joseph Campbell, because I'm looking for a spiritual ballast and I really appreciate Campbell.

    I went out to look at my "spears" of crocuses (croci?). I hated calling them spears (like asparagus or something), but the right word wouldn't come in the time I alot to typing on this site. Umph. Looking at them, the word came to me. SPIKES of crocuses! Is this chemobrain. What a fog.

    I want you to know that I appreciate your spirit and sense of humor and enjoy what you have to say. Your brighten our days. I'm not going to preview or reread this, so forgive the typos and lack of editing. Lynn

    Lynn
  • lynn1950
    lynn1950 Member Posts: 2,570
    #33
    mimivac said:

    Great new fiction
    I am reading "Lark and Termite" by Jayne Ann Phillips. Wonderful novel so far. I like to reward myself these days by going to Borders and buying brand new hardcover books. I like to hold them in my hands and feel like I am surrounded by beautiful things.

    You may not need more reminders, but I am finding "Anti-Cancer: A New Way of Life" by David Servan-Schreiber very inspiring. He talks about nutirition, emotional issues, and going through cancer diagnosis and treatment. He is a doctor who was diagnosed with brain cancer at age 31 and given a poor prognosis. He had a relapse seven years after initial diagnosis, but now, at age 47, remains cancer free. I look forward to going home from work so I can read these two books on my couch with a nice cup of tea.

    Mimi

    Anti-Cancer
    Mimi, I don't know what is wrong with me. I know it would be good to read Anti-Cancer - it has been recommended to me. I'm afraid I'll have to make too many more changes that I am not ready for if I read it, so I'll have to wait. But reading on the couch (or bed)with a nice cup of tea is my cup of tea. Lynn
  • lynn1950
    lynn1950 Member Posts: 2,570
    #34
    Marcia527 said:

    Lynn
    I've read your postings and you are taking medication and seeing a therapist. I saw where you said your medication was changed. I read that it could take 8 to 12 weeks for full benefit but if it isn't working, talk to the doctor. I read that exercise could help and meditation. Have you tried yoga? You said your depression was 'major'. Mine was never what I'd call major. So we can't compare it but you did say you felt better at work. Maybe you need some puzzles or hobbies to keep you busy until spring when you can garden. Keep seeing the therapist and taking the medication and be positive. Hugs....

    Marcia, It's funny, but I almost always feel better at night
    Like right now, when I should be in bed. Today was a better day. Now that I am off the Effexor, I think I'm feeling a little bit better. I was up to 300 mg and it was making me feel worser and worser! I also stopped taking Clonopin at bedtime, and I feel a bit better in the morning, because it is not so hard to wake from the fog.

    I am trying meditation and yoga (Jon Kabat-Zinn Spelling?) Since I work part-time, and have a 13 year old at home, a 16 year old in Germany, and a 19 year old who plans to get married (sealed in the Temple, she's converted and is LDS) April 19th, I could be pretty busy, if I could get off the couch. Then I get depressed for not doing what I should be doing. We have wood heat and live on a gravel road, so it's dust, not to mention dog hair that is part of what gets me down. And piles of undone things from late last summer when I started unraveling.

    But the anxiety strikes and it is such a painful physical feeling of spiritual, mental, and emotional paralysis - it comes out of nowhere. You are right that activity helps keep it at bay and I have a strong suspicion, after trying them, that tranquilizers are not the right road for me, even though they were probably a lifesaver for a while. I think that what we have here is a spiritual crossroads without a map.

    Like Peggy (I think) says...I liked the old me - the energetic go-getter and doer. Anyway, I so appreciate the support and encouragement that this will get better. I've been through rough patches before (nothing like this) and life somehow did change and brighten. It's good to be reminded.

    OK, enough. I have to work tomorrow. Lynn
  • lynn1950
    lynn1950 Member Posts: 2,570
    #35
    divablu said:

    You'll love this ... I just
    You'll love this ... I just typed you several paragraphs of support and darned if I didn't hit something and erase the whole thing! Must be chemo brain. So, I'll try again, but be short and sweet!

    I am still struggling with the mood swings and doubts. I finished chemo in January and was elated. I met with my radiologist on Friday 13th, walked into the reception area and started crying. The receptionist gave me a big hug and all I could say was that I was scared. I am. I continue to torture myself with will the cancer be gone, will I get my strength back, what will the next treatment bring.

    Last week I considered taking all the Xanax and hydrocodon I have here in the house. Between my health and our financial problems I was ready to throw in the towel. I talked with a friend on the phone today and she encouraged me to get counseling and talk to the doctor about changing my antidepressant. I'll start that tomorrow.

    My heart goes out to you. I'll help you and you can help me. Let's keep reminding each other that Spring is right around the corner and with spring comes new beginnings, more sun, more energy for us all.

    Try taking some walks, no matter how short, each step counts. Find a friend to walk with you. I like to take my Red Dog on my walks. He's a good friend and doesn't talk back! After my first chemo treatment I was trilled to be able to walk out to the barn and see my horses again. Take those little steps and savor each one. They build up, and so will you.

    What makes you happy? Find that and focus on it. What was your favorite book? Pick it up and read it again. I started reading "Like Water For Chocolate" again.

    Here's a big hug ((((((O)))))) from me. Please think of me as your friend and let me know when you are up and when you are down. Maybe we can help each other find our way through this.

    HUGGS!

    You'll Love This...
    I'm not sure if you are writing to Peggy, me, or both of us. But, what a great book, "Like Water for Chocolate." And I think you are from Montana, so we are neighbors. Highway 93 used to belong to me - or I felt that way - because I had (and have) friends up and down it from Missoula to the Canadian border.

    I know that "throw in the towel" feeling, but can't go there. It would hurt too many people. You know how you can lose your taste buds when you are sick? Sometimes I feel like I've lost my joy and sense of wonder buds, but tonight, as I fed the turtle and looked at the fish in the tank (both tanks are pretty dirty, ugh) and saw a bunch of babies (fish, not turtles), I felt them stirring and that was good.

    Even if your post wasn't for me, I want you to know how much I wish you brighter days ahead, good news, and moments of pleasure and joy.

    Hugs to you,
    Lynn
  • lynn1950
    lynn1950 Member Posts: 2,570
    #36
    peggy65 said:

    thank you all for your
    thank you all for your loving and caring thoughts. tears actually came to my eyes as i read all of the posts. what a difference it makes to know that you are not alone. after a while you start to think that you are a hypochondriac or something. i am still trying to figure out who i am, i know that i am not the woman i used to be. gosh, i sort of the opposite. i used to have so much energy and excitement for life, worked hard and felt that i was making a difference. now i don't feel any of those things. as one of you said, you never know when you get up what kind of a day it is going to be, yeah, i understand that. doing things is major and i am hesitant to make plans with friends for fear that i will have to cancel. you know i am reading this over and i hate it. for all you who are ahead of me with treatment, i have to believe you when you say that this too shall pass. and one day the fog will begin to go away and you will have a life again. i used to be a very positive and happy person, thanks for all of your advice, i really appreciate it. love, peggy

    I feel like I know you
    Peggy, I feel like I know you. Isn't it good to hear that our days are going to brighten? That this slow motion of a life is going to regain some momentum - maybe a different direction, but still good?

    Thanks so much for your honesty. It helps me. Lynn
  • lynn1950
    lynn1950 Member Posts: 2,570
    #37
    mimivac said:

    Depression and fatigue
    Peggy and Lynn,

    I am not done with treatment, but I know about the fear accompanying the fatigue. Sometimes it feels as though you will never get your energy back, and that thought is very frightening. Depression hits me when I am not feeling well, which makes me feel worse, and the whole thing becomes a tiring, awful cycle. I am sorry you are going through this. Sometimes I find that being delicate and methodical with yourself can help. When I feel like just lying on the couch, I tell myself to slowly do one thing, like a sink of dishes, reading a chapter in a book, making a cup of tea, or drawing a bubble bath. Activity always, always makes me feel better, no matter how small. The problem, of course, is getting there when you are depressed. Pare down your to-do list to something manageable so you will have a sense of accomplishment. Chemo brain and the effects of chemo after treatment are real and happen to almost everyone. But what is also real is that you will get better. Your body and mind have been through perhaps the hardest stuggle of your life and you need time to heal. Be easy on yourself through this. I think exercise (as possible and in small doses) helps both in the short and long run. I plan to take up yoga, meditation, and thi chi soon as well as re-join the gym when my treatments are over.

    Just wanted to add that I am on lexapro, too, and it can cause fatigue when you first start taking it. My solution was to halve my dose (with doctor approval) to 5 mlg. That way I was still getting the benefits without the side effects. But this may not work for major depression, so please don't take my advice, but talk to your doctor instead. It can take many weeks for the effects to manifest. Good luck and keep posting.

    fatigue and depression
    Thanks, Mimi. I started Lexapro at 5 mg a little more than a week ago and just started the 10 a few days ago. I am hopeful.

    Exercise is good; it is just so easy for me to be flaky about it right now. I do body scan relaxation exercises or meditation most days as I wake up and it helps while I'm doing it. Plus I'm getting the message that what matters is what is happening in the moment, which is a good place to be. If I could just relax when it matters!

    I do take baby steps, but it is hard to watch all the chores and mail and laundry and bills etc pile up as I baby step through life. It's hard for me not to be hard on myself. OK, take a deep breath....

    Hugs, Lynn
  • mimivac
    mimivac Member Posts: 2,143 Member
    #38
    lynn1950 said:

    Anti-Cancer
    Mimi, I don't know what is wrong with me. I know it would be good to read Anti-Cancer - it has been recommended to me. I'm afraid I'll have to make too many more changes that I am not ready for if I read it, so I'll have to wait. But reading on the couch (or bed)with a nice cup of tea is my cup of tea. Lynn

    Changes
    Yes, I know what you mean, Lynn. As if getting cancer were not enought, now we have to change our whole lives?! But, it's really a gentle, informative book that is not at all judgemental. He has an interesting prespective that I really appreciated. And the things he recommends are not at all radical. I was already eating healthfully, but now I have this added perspective. One of the things I found really helpful were the chapters on meditation and emotional factors. Plus, there are many inspiring stories in the book that make you feel good. I highly recommend when you are ready.

    Mimi
  • tasha_111
    tasha_111 Member Posts: 2,072
    #39
    lynn1950 said:

    You'll Love This...
    I'm not sure if you are writing to Peggy, me, or both of us. But, what a great book, "Like Water for Chocolate." And I think you are from Montana, so we are neighbors. Highway 93 used to belong to me - or I felt that way - because I had (and have) friends up and down it from Missoula to the Canadian border.

    I know that "throw in the towel" feeling, but can't go there. It would hurt too many people. You know how you can lose your taste buds when you are sick? Sometimes I feel like I've lost my joy and sense of wonder buds, but tonight, as I fed the turtle and looked at the fish in the tank (both tanks are pretty dirty, ugh) and saw a bunch of babies (fish, not turtles), I felt them stirring and that was good.

    Even if your post wasn't for me, I want you to know how much I wish you brighter days ahead, good news, and moments of pleasure and joy.

    Hugs to you,
    Lynn

    Lynn
    It's not throw in the towel.........Old gardeners never die. They just throw in the TROWEL! LOL.. Hey what fish have you got, I just bought a new 35 gal aquarium yesterday but not decided what to put in it yet, I breed swords and guppies, I carefully fished all the babies out last week into my baby tank, and the swords ate all the guppies!...... I was Mortified. Oh well we live and learn, so they say.

    Big HUG Jxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

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