I'm new, please talk to me

chemo brained teacher
Hi,

I can relate to your mental issues of having "chemo brain". I've been a 5th grade teacher for many years and chemo has now caused me to be barely able to help my 3rd grader with her math homework now. For some reason, anything having to do with numbers has been the most difficult with me- probably because more analytical thinking is involved than is with reading or writing. I am not teaching right now, because I really feel like my memory and thinking skills just aren't where they need to be to do the job and not look like a confused fool to my students and their parents (the kids would be pretty forgiving and understanding, but the parents might not). This past summer,4-5 months after chemo and 2-3 months after my liver resection, I was really starting to feel pretty good again mentally and was considering going back to teach again, but I had a recurrence in my lungs in August- so that decided it & back on chemo I went again.

As other people have already said, definitely write things down (and keep the notepad you write on with you otherwise- if you're like me- you might misplace the paper you wrote things down on- or forget to look at it!) Also- sending yourself reminder emails with the info to remember on the "subject" section of the email so you see it when looking at your inbox might be helpful- it is to me (I actually used to do this even before having cancer/chemo, as I'd think of something for work, I'd send myself an email from home to work email inbox- also I'd leave myself quick reminder voicemails, as well). Do whatever it takes.
I know about forgeting what you're trying to remember right in the middle of trying to think about it. I've thought of things I needed to do later, needed to buy, or whatever & have started to go write it down, only to forget it before I even got to the notepad! Inevitably, it comes back to me later in the day (but not always).

I hope I'm not discouraging your hopes in this memory thing- but remember that I'm still going through the chemo right now- you're done, so it will hopefully start getting better soon. Back in the summer (4-5 months post chemo, before I had to start up again), I was feeling so good, energetic, and mentally was getting pretty sharp again, I really think it was not just time elapsed but also the exercise I had started doing and especially by beefing up my "green" intake. I was exercising, taking more B vitamins and I think the "Vitamineral Green" powder I was taking really, really helped. I call it my "green sludge drink"- it grosses my kids out (they don't know I sprinkle it in several things I make for dinner for them because I can't get them to eat their veggies- a little trickery will get those greens into them!). Anyhow, I got it at Henry's & it's one of the better ones, in my opinion. Another note- I discovered mixing the green powder with grape juice or any berry juice makes it go down much easier than just mixing it with water. I was also taking Mona Vie (acai berry juice) with it for a while. I don't take it now while on chemo because of the antioxidant interfering w/ the chemo, but I will definitely go on it again (or maybe a cheaper counterpart of it) when I finish the chemo again.

Lastly, talk to your boss and coworkers frankly about your chemo brain- let them know it's real, you're working to get through it, but it will take some time and understanding on their part. Maybe even some of the more analytical parts of your job could be reassigned or slightly modified and you could do more of something else that comes easier to you?
As Kathi said, sometimes joking about it can help with that embarrased or uneasy feeling about it around others ("Oh, I'm sorry- I'm Miss Chemo Brain lately- you'll have to send me an email reminder to help me remember this"- or something like that!) No one else can truly understand how it makes you feel unless they've experienced it themselves. Some will say it's just from being stressed- it's true that stress can make it worse, but it's definitely not just from stress- chemo brain is a real, documented phenomenum. You will improve, though- don't be too hard on yourself for it to happen NOW, because your stressing out over that could make it worse temporarily. BREATHE deeply, and let yourself NOT feel any guilt when you can't remember things correctly! You'll be OKAY soon!

Best wishes to you- get plenty of rest, exercise, and start in on some supplemental energy boosters such as I mentioned above- God bless!
Lisa