Did you keep your mask?

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  • wboaz
    wboaz Member Posts: 48
    #22
    My mask
    Yes, I have my mask in my closet. My wife hates it when I get it out but I can't seem to part with it and it's been over 2 1/2 years. I alsways thatght that scanner type LEDs to make a "Cylon" mask ala "Battlestar Gallictica" would be cool but I would have to get motivated and do work. lol
  • SASH
    SASH Member Posts: 421 Member
    #23
    wboaz said:

    My mask
    Yes, I have my mask in my closet. My wife hates it when I get it out but I can't seem to part with it and it's been over 2 1/2 years. I alsways thatght that scanner type LEDs to make a "Cylon" mask ala "Battlestar Gallictica" would be cool but I would have to get motivated and do work. lol

    My Mask
    I had it for years after I was done but my house was damaged in a hurricane and with all the mold I had to get rid of it.
  • mema23
    mema23 Member Posts: 2
    #24
    We kept the mask too!
    I did keep my husband's mask- it is in a closet now. He finished his last radiation in March 2008. I will say that on the day of his final radiation tx the staff gave him a certificate of congratulations along with his mask. When he walked in the door with the mask, I burst into tears!! It was so emotional seeing that thing and knowing what it represented. I had never seen the actual mask, and it just broke my heart at the sight of this symbol of the tortue he had to endure for months. Everything just came out of me at seeing that mask! I give the highest regard and honor to all of you who have endured and come through such aggressive cancer tx. God bless and keep you!
    M.Beall
  • soccerfreaks
    soccerfreaks Member Posts: 2,788 Member
    #25
    mema23 said:

    We kept the mask too!
    I did keep my husband's mask- it is in a closet now. He finished his last radiation in March 2008. I will say that on the day of his final radiation tx the staff gave him a certificate of congratulations along with his mask. When he walked in the door with the mask, I burst into tears!! It was so emotional seeing that thing and knowing what it represented. I had never seen the actual mask, and it just broke my heart at the sight of this symbol of the tortue he had to endure for months. Everything just came out of me at seeing that mask! I give the highest regard and honor to all of you who have endured and come through such aggressive cancer tx. God bless and keep you!
    M.Beall

    Thank you
    ...for your understanding and support. Your husband is a lucky man!

    My wife, a nurse who should know better, also cried when I brought the mask out with me to the waiting room (I took valium and couldn't drive myself home :) ). I live in a Navy town, and perhaps that is why someone who had survived it donated a brass bell that was attached to a wall. When you finished, you were permitted to ring the bell, and that I did! With relish (little knowing that would be the only relish I had for quite some time :) ).

    I kept my mask, too, macabre as it seems to me. At Halloween I put it in a window and consider it the scariest thing on the block. Otherwise, it is hidden away. Keeping it seems like a perversion in a sense, as it serves no purpose but to remind me of the 'torture' you reference.

    So, I can't say why I keep it. It is certainly not a trophy to me.

    But keep it I do.

    Take care,

    Joe
  • dedesert
    dedesert Member Posts: 17
    #26
    RonInScotland said:

    Did you keep your mask
    Hello USA from Bonnie Scotland.

    Yes I kept mine - had it since 1995 - and when Im a bit down I go and look at it and remember what bad times really were. It soon brings me back into line!!! I lost (what we call here in Scotland) my "lollipop" that I used to have to put in my mouth every radio blast. God knows what the guy who bought our house will think if he found it!!!

    I had nasopharyngeal cancer with 4 tumours in my neck but Im now clear.

    The reason im on this site is that I cant find one similar in GB.

    Great site here and look forward to more visits to share with others the trials and tribulations of The Big C

    Regards to all

    Ron

    Ron, there is a similar site in G.B.
    It is called http://share.macmillan.org.uk/Share/Forums/?topic=1006252

    oh by the way, I didn't keep my mask. My neck was so burned , I mean

    burned like a crisp I almost couldn't go through with the last treatments

    a reminder of which, personally, I can do without!
  • radiation
    radiation Member Posts: 1
    #27
    mask
    I've been through radiation twice. The first mask I burned in my fire pit and the second one I told the hospital to dump it. Hated both of them. Does the word "anxiety" ring a bell?

    Please don't send me any e mails about how I might have harmed the environment by burning it!
  • dedesert
    dedesert Member Posts: 17
    #28
    radiation said:

    mask
    I've been through radiation twice. The first mask I burned in my fire pit and the second one I told the hospital to dump it. Hated both of them. Does the word "anxiety" ring a bell?

    Please don't send me any e mails about how I might have harmed the environment by burning it!

    to radiation: I'm with you mister
    personally, I just don't want to be reminded of those days. The terrible burns on my neck, the damaged saliva glands, the burns to my tongue and under the tongue....no if I never see a "mask" again that'll be too soon for me!
    MArk
  • justlookin
    justlookin Member Posts: 1
    #29
    I kept my mask too! I don't
    I kept my mask too! I don't know why I did, but I did. It's in a box, I'm not sure what to do with it!!!
  • deepappas
    deepappas Member Posts: 1
    #30
    dedesert said:

    Ron, there is a similar site in G.B.
    It is called http://share.macmillan.org.uk/Share/Forums/?topic=1006252

    oh by the way, I didn't keep my mask. My neck was so burned , I mean

    burned like a crisp I almost couldn't go through with the last treatments

    a reminder of which, personally, I can do without!

    burned neck
    Hi,

    My husband didn't keep his mask and didn't even think about it.....possibly because on the way for his last day of radiation my doctor left a message on my cell phone that I had basil cell carcinoma which totally freaked me out. I am fine and treatment went great; unfortunatly my husband is still suffering greatly! Cancer over but keeps getting aspiration pneumonia and now they want to replace his peg tube with a J tube and am having a very difficult time finding info out on that................one dr said he wouldn't do it and others say go for it! Our daughter who is now teaching nursing does not want him to get the j either??????? Very confusing!
  • BIL777
    BIL777 Member Posts: 1
    #31
    connie_62257 said:

    im on my 2nd week i do take something ...i call it the chill pill. i wouldnt be able to put that mask on without it..lol and when im done im gonna keep mine and paint the dang thing hang it on my wall..........lmao

    MY MASK
    I WENT THRU IT TWICE RADIATION 2 TIMES A DAY ALONG WITH CHEMO 2 TIMES A DAY 9 YEARS AGO & 4 YEARS AGO. THE FIRST TIME I HAD MY MASK MOUNTED LIKE A DEER HEAD AND HUNG IT ON THE WALL.
    WHEN I HAD THE RELAPS. I TOOK IT DOWN AND BURNED IT. I LIKE YOU HAD TO TAKE A CHILL PILL ALSO
    DO NOT GIVE UP NEVER GIVE UP!!!
  • sassyque
    sassyque Member Posts: 44
    #32
    Did you keep your mask
    I did not keep my mask.I was so glad to get rid of it and glad I didn.t have to have my head bolted to the table.I had several panic attacks.Sometimes I wish I would have kept it.Wall hanging sounds like a good idea....Sassyque
  • BugHunter
    BugHunter Member Posts: 152
    #33
    dlugo48 said:

    im realizing that i made a big mistake i should of taken my kids to see what i was going through during my external radiation treatment,while i was being strap down to a table with the mask.but i did not want to infringe in their privacy or scare them.plus im so freaking private.maybe by seeing this they would consume the right foods and see life in a different way.i should of kept the mask as a reminder.live and learn.

    Check with your doctor
    There is most likely a picture of you on the table in your file, they use it for alienment(sp?) during your treatment, it is not your mask, but shows you in it.

    BILL
  • BugHunter
    BugHunter Member Posts: 152
    #34
    stevelfun said:

    My mask....
    Yup.... I have it....

    RE: mixed emotions - That says it all right there. Mixed emotions. LOL You hit the nail on the head with those words.

    I hated those treatments. The techs were great though. I couldn't have had a better crew of people (Barbara, Rebecca and Tony you ROCK!!!)

    BTW, anyone else stop by and visit the people (nurses/techs) in the chemo and radiation suites when you go back for follow up appointments????

    I do.

    I remember them telling me - esp. the radiation techs - that they see these people daily for weeks. You get to know them. Become part of their lives, what they do, enjoy, spend their time doing, etc... (Barbara liked to 'borrow' her daughter's ear rings... LOL)

    Then - poof - you finish.

    They see you when things are so very bad for you and you might well have a difficult time even mustering a smile. And they don't often get to see people when they are better. I remember them telling me this. They often wonder how people are doing.

    I like to go back and 'smile' for them every time I can.

    As for the mask - I am torn between burning it in my fireplace - to 'vent' some emotion per se and keeping it as a constant reminder - not that I will soon, if ever, forget any of my journey through my cancer treatment(s).

    Best to all.

    Steve

    I go every now and then
    I stop in the chemo area to see my favorite nurses! The biggest problem I have as a "big strong man" is not breaking down and crying my eyes out when I am in there talking with the people I see as Heros in my life, I love them each and every one!
  • victor53
    victor53 Member Posts: 97
    #35
    BugHunter said:

    I did have a moment of panic. The techs did not explain what they were doing and next thing I know they are stretching this hot plastic thing over my face, I about flew off the dang table! After they explained what they were doing and how they were doing it, mask #2 fit just fine.

    BILL

    i got 2 masks i lost wieght
    i got 2 masks i lost wieght so they had to make another
    i use them to strain my pasta and wash my veggies
  • tom55
    tom55 Member Posts: 10
    #36
    sassyque said:

    Did you keep your mask
    I did not keep my mask.I was so glad to get rid of it and glad I didn.t have to have my head bolted to the table.I had several panic attacks.Sometimes I wish I would have kept it.Wall hanging sounds like a good idea....Sassyque

    Mask
    I hope this doesn't sound too flip, But my 85 yr old mother never thinks I visit enough. She also has Alziemers and her short term memory is really bad. So I took my mask and put it in her easy chair. That way she would remember why I wasn't there all the time and I could get the mask out of my sight.
    Having those treatments with the mask has got to be the most diabolical things ever. The only good thing I learned about the process is the techs had to have masks made for them and get strapped down too so they would know what it's like. All the techs at U of MIch were awesome. Tom
  • slickwilly
    slickwilly Member Posts: 334 Member
    #37
    tom55 said:

    Mask
    I hope this doesn't sound too flip, But my 85 yr old mother never thinks I visit enough. She also has Alziemers and her short term memory is really bad. So I took my mask and put it in her easy chair. That way she would remember why I wasn't there all the time and I could get the mask out of my sight.
    Having those treatments with the mask has got to be the most diabolical things ever. The only good thing I learned about the process is the techs had to have masks made for them and get strapped down too so they would know what it's like. All the techs at U of MIch were awesome. Tom

    the mask
    5 years out from my cancer and my mask is in my closet. And I can't say why I kept it. I was more than happy to get rid of the mouth mold that would choke me during my radiation treatments. I guess it was a matter of showing my wife and kids what I was going through during my treatments as I was alone during my 5 weeks away from home. I also have copies of all my medical files and some x-rays and MRI films. Its all a reminder of when my life made a complete change from a very active member of society to an individual that struggles daily. Kinda like keeping my old snowmobile racing helmet or items from being in the military. I guess I hold on to good and bad reminders. Some people just prefer to have the good stuff around. But it was a big part of my life good or bad. Slickwilly
  • Weezer
    Weezer Member Posts: 2
    #38
    slickwilly said:

    the mask
    5 years out from my cancer and my mask is in my closet. And I can't say why I kept it. I was more than happy to get rid of the mouth mold that would choke me during my radiation treatments. I guess it was a matter of showing my wife and kids what I was going through during my treatments as I was alone during my 5 weeks away from home. I also have copies of all my medical files and some x-rays and MRI films. Its all a reminder of when my life made a complete change from a very active member of society to an individual that struggles daily. Kinda like keeping my old snowmobile racing helmet or items from being in the military. I guess I hold on to good and bad reminders. Some people just prefer to have the good stuff around. But it was a big part of my life good or bad. Slickwilly

    the mask
    Dec 30th was my last head/neck radiation treatment and I had to force myself to go to radiation, sick or not as I didn't want to prolong treatments any further. My last 2 days were "make-up" days for days I missed earlier due to severe nausea, vomitting, etc. When I was done, I was thrilled to get the mask so I could show my family and friends what it was like to be bolted to a table with this mask ... more like a cage ... unable to move or swallow!

    I think of my mask/cage as a trophy, like an Academy or something, for enduring one of the toughest experiences in my life. It's hard to describe to others what it's like, but showing them the cage, letting them put it on helps them understand how scary it can be. They always ask, "Does it hurt?" and it's hard to explain the sense of panic from confinement, feeling nothing during the procedure, but the pain from the accumulation of radiation exposure.

    Thank God I made it! The burns and blisters are no longer bleeding and I'm starting to form new skin. I still can't taste food, but at least I can keep it down so I'm regaining some strength.

    I will keep my trophy as a reminder of what I, we, endured last year and the hope and promise of a better year, this year!

    Happy New Year to all of you and Hope this will be a better, healthier year for all!
  • Fireman
    Fireman Member Posts: 39
    #39
    Did I keep my mask
    NO. When I walked out I was done. They told me when they made it that I could keep it. I thought it was cool until I got into radiation treatments. I thought mask were supposed to protect you and putting that thing on over my burns and seeing my skin on it when they took it off made me ask myself, what am I actualy going to do with that thing? Look at it and remind myself of what I went through with it? Where would I put it. Like soccerfreaks said, it did not view it as a trophy or an instrument of great accomplishment. I'm not going to save my PEG tube either, nor did I save my PICC Lines. I will save the memory of being cured and take appreciation in hopefully giving hope to others. My memories are enough for me right now, I don't need a reminder. I do applaud those that did want to keep their mask. I do on the one hand understand some of the sentiment and other people who did not go through the treatments think the mask is cool. So did I until I had to wear it. Glad I had it, glad it's gone.
  • SIRENAF42
    SIRENAF42 Member Posts: 202
    #40
    Fireman said:

    Did I keep my mask
    NO. When I walked out I was done. They told me when they made it that I could keep it. I thought it was cool until I got into radiation treatments. I thought mask were supposed to protect you and putting that thing on over my burns and seeing my skin on it when they took it off made me ask myself, what am I actualy going to do with that thing? Look at it and remind myself of what I went through with it? Where would I put it. Like soccerfreaks said, it did not view it as a trophy or an instrument of great accomplishment. I'm not going to save my PEG tube either, nor did I save my PICC Lines. I will save the memory of being cured and take appreciation in hopefully giving hope to others. My memories are enough for me right now, I don't need a reminder. I do applaud those that did want to keep their mask. I do on the one hand understand some of the sentiment and other people who did not go through the treatments think the mask is cool. So did I until I had to wear it. Glad I had it, glad it's gone.

    Dang Mask
    I took my mask, but never planned to use it as a memory trigger. I destoyed it by placing in the middle of the street, saying a thank you prayer to god then I ran it over with my truck. It felt good!!!!
  • awsumtime
    awsumtime Member Posts: 11
    #41
    victor53 said:

    i got 2 masks i lost wieght
    i got 2 masks i lost wieght so they had to make another
    i use them to strain my pasta and wash my veggies

    Did you keep your mask
    I lost50 lbs. and a year out an still under weight. I tell eeryone it took me nearly 50 years to get this skinhy. How about you. In drank water and protein shakes for 6 months and then had to learn to eat again. Bread and meat are still difficult to eat. I have my mask. I want to burn it some day.

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