Bald Heads and long process ... Think Spring!

divablu
divablu Member Posts: 75
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
This morning after I showered, I looked in the mirror. Yep, I really looked in the mirror. I'm heading into my last two chemo treatments, and for those of you who are beginning the process I just want to say there is light at the end of the tunnel! I'm feeling better, looking forward to a few weeks off and then starting radiation.

Anyway, about me and the mirror. Well, I've lost about a pound a week since I started chemo. I've lost my hair. Yes, my left breast is gone and there is the scar and extra skin waiting for reconstruction.

The positive side about the hair loss ... I've saved money on hair products ... I don't need to worry about shaving my legs ... bikini waxes are a thing of the past ... as a matter of fact, bikinis are a thing of the past! I've worn wigs and hats over my bald head. Even wear a stocking cap to bed cause my head gets cold! I have gotten tired of the wig. My husband and I went out to breakfast and I wore my nicest knit stocking hat (we are in Montana it is cold)! I didn't want to eat with my hat on and decided ... OK, I'm bald. Hats off! First public appearance with my bald head and I heard no screams or gasps in the restaurant. I didn't even gasp. I think I would like to go in for a makeup makeover. I need better eye makeup and larger earrings!

The moral of this story ... there is light at the end of the tunnel. In November I didn't believe I could make it through the chemo. In November I didn't believe I could recover physically from all this. Today I believe I can. My mantra is Spring is coming! By Spring I will be recuperating from the reconstructive surgery, and planning for the future.

The breast cancer has had both my husband and I in a major holding pattern. The not knowing, and just dealing with the terrible word "cancer" in our lives seems to have frozen us in time. A long waiting game.

We have blue skies and sun today in the Bitterroot Valley ... Lots of ice too! Today I KNOW there is a light at the end of the tunnel. And if I believe I can get through this long journey breast cancer has taken me on, I know the rest of you can too.

Huggs and Kisses! Let's be the best Survivors of 2009!

Comments

  • mmontero38
    mmontero38 Member Posts: 1,510
    #2
    There is light at the end of
    There is light at the end of the tunnel Diva, even though in the beginning it looks like the tunnel goes on forever. Every day that goes by will be easier. A cancer diagnosis is not easy to assimilate and we are lucky if we have the support of our spouses and family. I wish you much peace and health in 2009. Hugs, Lili
  • Eil4186
    Eil4186 Member Posts: 949
    #3
    Yea!
    Good for you diva! I never quite got up the nerve to bare my baldness in public. I too got tired of wearing the wig but was not comfortable without it outside the house either. I did go out with just a bandana though:0)

    Congrats on being close to finishing chemo! You are a survivor!!
  • mgm42
    mgm42 Member Posts: 491 Member
    #4
    You Betcha'
    You bet there is light at the end of the tunnel, and I've entered that phase of survivorship. My hair is now a short pixie cut and I even get some compliments on my new "do," I feel good except for some little aches and pains, I've kept off the 18 pounds I lost for almost 8 months, my nails have grown back and my entire body feels good. Thoughts of my breast cancer don't start and end my day. In fact, some days those thoughts are no where to be found. And, my husband and I are taking back our life - moving forward, planning, enjoying each day. Yes, life is good! Hang in there. A few months from now, you will be right where I am now. Hang in there. DEFINITELY THINK SPRING. Hugs, Marilynn
  • Irishwhispers
    Irishwhispers Member Posts: 96
    #5
    Holding Pattern...
    I cant tell you how many times I said it seemed like time just stopped after being diagnosed with breast cancer.... sometimes... I think ok where did I put it... *it being Summer, & Fall
    I finished with my chemo on November 5, 2008 and have begun to feel like the light is getting brighter everyday!!

    However, time did stop even though there was a whirlwind of appointments to be at.. and learning medical terms NO ONE should ever have to learn... hopefully in our lifetime others wont have too.

    You are so right about there being a light at the end of the tunnell and sharing that with our unfortunate newcomers is just proof that the light keeps on shining!!

    Thanks for the positive "light"!!!
    Love & Hugs
    Trish
  • divablu
    divablu Member Posts: 75
    #6
    mgm42 said:

    You Betcha'
    You bet there is light at the end of the tunnel, and I've entered that phase of survivorship. My hair is now a short pixie cut and I even get some compliments on my new "do," I feel good except for some little aches and pains, I've kept off the 18 pounds I lost for almost 8 months, my nails have grown back and my entire body feels good. Thoughts of my breast cancer don't start and end my day. In fact, some days those thoughts are no where to be found. And, my husband and I are taking back our life - moving forward, planning, enjoying each day. Yes, life is good! Hang in there. A few months from now, you will be right where I am now. Hang in there. DEFINITELY THINK SPRING. Hugs, Marilynn

    Thanks ...
    I'm looking forward to my hair coming back in. I wonder what color. A friend of mine and bc survivor had her hair come back in curley! Sooo good to see a light at the end of this tunnel!
  • divablu
    divablu Member Posts: 75
    #7
    Irishwhispers said:

    Holding Pattern...
    I cant tell you how many times I said it seemed like time just stopped after being diagnosed with breast cancer.... sometimes... I think ok where did I put it... *it being Summer, & Fall
    I finished with my chemo on November 5, 2008 and have begun to feel like the light is getting brighter everyday!!

    However, time did stop even though there was a whirlwind of appointments to be at.. and learning medical terms NO ONE should ever have to learn... hopefully in our lifetime others wont have too.

    You are so right about there being a light at the end of the tunnell and sharing that with our unfortunate newcomers is just proof that the light keeps on shining!!

    Thanks for the positive "light"!!!
    Love & Hugs
    Trish

    Time standing still
    This whole process is like holding your breath forever! I'm still having problems pronouncing some of the medical terms. I, and I'm sure everyone, has been living chemo treatment to chemo treatment. Wednesday I have chemo, and leaves one more to go!

    I still get tired pretty easily. Today I did some laundry, floors, dinner, a little weaving and collapsed! I'm also looking forward to my energy and stamina coming back.

    Thanks for the note! Think Spring!
  • mgm42
    mgm42 Member Posts: 491 Member
    #8
    divablu said:

    Thanks ...
    I'm looking forward to my hair coming back in. I wonder what color. A friend of mine and bc survivor had her hair come back in curley! Sooo good to see a light at the end of this tunnel!

    Curley
    What you've heard is true about curley hair. My hair used to be straight as a board. It is now very, very curly. Actually, I'm kind of liking it. I've been told that the curls will go away after a while and that I should enjoy them while they last. As for color, my hair was salt and pepper before chemo, but more pepper than salt. It came back as salt and pepper but the salt has replaced a lot of the pepper. I wish I weren't allergic to hair dyes, but I am considering a reverse frosting (with the cap and crochet needle thingy to protect my scalp from having an allergic reaction) and reestablishing more pepper. My eyebrows came back, too, but not a full or as dark they once were. Now I use grey pencil to darken and lengthen them a bit.

    Cancer teaches us to be flexible and accept things as they come along. That applies to how we look also. Although I've aged a bit, I hope I'm doing it gracefully. Smiling makes the wrinkles look cute. Hugs, Marilynn

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