New here, have question.

4april
4april Member Posts: 2
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
Hi! I came here because I am worried about my friend. She survived brest cancer 4 years ago but has recently been rediagonised with terminal cancer. Her husband is angry and not very supportive, I imagine it is just as hard on him. She has been going to chemo but it has been making her so sick and she just found out her levels incresed with the chemo so it may not even be working. I just hung up the phone with her and I do not know how to support her. I think she may be suicidal and I can't even imagine what she is going thru. I came here to check it out to see if this would be an appropiate place for her, maybe I could get her here?

Comments

  • tasha_111
    tasha_111 Member Posts: 2,072
    #2
    New here?
    Hey friend ... I have suicidal thoughts too. my husband is not supportive at all...Thank God she has a true friend like you!...Julia XXXXXX
  • KathiM
    KathiM Member Posts: 8,028 Member
    #3
    We are great at 'been there/done that'!
    Yes, share this with her. Also, I take GREAT exception to the word 'terminal' (unless, of course, it's referring to a computer input device or a train station!!!!).

    If not there already, she needs to get herself to a major cancer center. They are the experts at the second line of defense (and the third, and the fourth...lol!). She shouldn't give up hope, it's a powerful thing.

    If you suspect she is serious about the suicide, I mean REALLY serious, you could suggest a 72-hour hold facility. You don't want to mess around with this stuff...I took my daughter a few times during her worst moments....they can help...

    Hugs, Kathi
  • cabbott
    cabbott Member Posts: 1,039 Member
    #4
    Lots of support!
    There is a lot of support here for all cancer survivors, but the discussion board for breast cancer is one of the most active sections of all of them. If your friend want to "talk" to someone in real time, the chat room is great. If she prefers to post questions and check back for answers, tell her to try the discussion board here. There is more information on cancer in other parts of the website. There is also a place for registered folks to tell their own stories. It is hard enough to deal with cancer. Dealing with being alone and unsupported just makes it harder. Tell her about this place and suggest she give it a try. There are other places for support too. If she needs support with arms, call the local hospital for suggestions. There is a branch of The Wellness Community in my town. That group specializes in emotional support for individuals and families dealing with cancer. Hospice helps folks with terminal cancer, but the doctor has to refer them for that help. Those are just a few places I know of that can help, but I'm sure there are others. A call to the local cancer organizations might turn up several more resources for your friend. Good luck!

    C. Abbott
  • 4april
    4april Member Posts: 2
    #5
    cabbott said:

    Lots of support!
    There is a lot of support here for all cancer survivors, but the discussion board for breast cancer is one of the most active sections of all of them. If your friend want to "talk" to someone in real time, the chat room is great. If she prefers to post questions and check back for answers, tell her to try the discussion board here. There is more information on cancer in other parts of the website. There is also a place for registered folks to tell their own stories. It is hard enough to deal with cancer. Dealing with being alone and unsupported just makes it harder. Tell her about this place and suggest she give it a try. There are other places for support too. If she needs support with arms, call the local hospital for suggestions. There is a branch of The Wellness Community in my town. That group specializes in emotional support for individuals and families dealing with cancer. Hospice helps folks with terminal cancer, but the doctor has to refer them for that help. Those are just a few places I know of that can help, but I'm sure there are others. A call to the local cancer organizations might turn up several more resources for your friend. Good luck!

    C. Abbott

    Thanks for all your
    Thanks for all your replies. I just called her and told her about this place and how amazing it is to read all your stories and it is like listening to her. I try not to be too pushy but I told her I would bring my laptop over tommorow and show her this forum and how to use it. We live in a remote area and there is not much support around. I hope she will come here. I feel so frustrated trying to support her because I have not been thru it and I don't want to insult her by even trying to think I know how she should or shouldnt feel or what she should or shouldnt be doing.
    Anyways, thanks for your help and hope to be back tommorow, with my friend April.
  • chenheart
    chenheart Member Posts: 5,159
    #6
    Welcome
    Absolutely! If she is so inclined, please have her come in here! We are not Drs, nor do we diagnose anything, but we not only Talk The Talk, we Walk The Walk. We know just about everything there is to know about this beast~ and believe me, none of us wanted this "honor"! We are all too familiar with how it affects those around us; sometimes bringing out the best in people, and sadly, sometimes not. We have learned to maneuver ourselves around most of it~ we may not like what is happening to us, both physically and emotionally, but this amazing group has taught us empathy and coping skills.

    On the other hand, IF you suspect she is indeed suicidal, that is out of all of our leagues, including yours. Please see to it that she gets in touch with a suicide prevention hotline, or some mental health facility which can help her to navigate these scary waters.
    Bless you for being the friend you are...and my advice to you is simply to lead with your heart. Tell her you don't know just what to do, or that you too are scared~ be real, cry, hug, laugh...just be honest. Which doesn't mean MORBID! You love her, you are there for her, and that is what she needs.

    Thanks for joining this group of supporters and SURVIVORS~ we welcome you and April to our family.

    Hugs,
    Claudia

Discussion Boards