THE TIES THAT BIND

RE
RE Member Posts: 4,591 Member
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
My sister passed away on Dec 15, 2007 sometime between 2:00 a.m. and 4 a.m. She was fascinated with things that lit up, lite toys, eye glasses that had lights in them to read (she called these her magic eyes and she made sure we all had a pair :-)) figurines that lit up and candles, on how she loved candles. In her home she had at least 20 candles that she lit nightly, it was always beautiful and of course it smelled lovely. Then there is the gorgeous heart shaped wreath that lights up which I discussed with you all previously.

I have told you this as a lead in to what has been happening in my home over the last week. Please read this with an open mind and heart and know that I am a very happy and stable woman (not a nut job). On my husbands side of the bed he has a touch sensitive lamp which has been there for a year and has functioned properly in all of that time. Well four nights ago it began turning on on its own the moment I would turn out my light to go to sleep; which is in most cases no earlier than 2:30 a.m. Now, I mean that I would close my eyes and the lamp would turn on. I thought how odd the first night and asked him to turn it off, it did it 6 more times till we finally just left it on. In the following days I have checked the light throughout the day and it has remained off. No further light shows occurred until last night, I closed my eyes and on came the light. I shut it off and that was the end of that. Tonight at 3:00 a.m. I turned my lamp out, got comfortable and closed my eyes, ping the room lit up. I asked my husband to turn the light out and he looked perplexed and checked his watch, it was then that I realized it is only turning on in the hours that she passed, in the month that she passed and it is a light and as I mentioned above she loved lights! I sobbed for a few moments and am still tearing a bit. It is just like her to want to soothe my pain of her loss by letting me know she is okay. Please understand that I am not making this up, I am in tears as I write this. I am trusting that you all will understand. I really felt compelled to share this with you because I have shared so much of her with you recently.

I am putting my reputation as a stable person on the line here. I hope this has not offended anyone as it is not my intention to push an spiritual aspect on anyone, it is just what is happening here and I wanted to share.

My sister fought breast cancer twice, had reconstruction, then had to have it all removed due to infections and all redone which took an incredible amount of time and pain . She lived with it done for about six months before she found out she was dying of pancreatic cancer. She lost her husband to throat cancer 6 years previous and our mom the year before that. SO yes, it is a different post for this board but it is in an odd way related to cancer.

I guess that is all I wanted to share, thanks again for listening to me as I deal with my loss. Don't get me wrong, I am not having a horrible month it is December and I love Christmas. As a funny foot note to all this my husband, daughter and I spent two 1/2 hours standing in the cold tonight with my two grandsons who are 2 and 4 so they could enjoy the Parade of Lights that our town puts on each year. How fitting.

Thanks again for listening. I am going to try to get some sleep. I best to each of you and you!

RE

Comments

  • ohilly
    ohilly Member Posts: 441
    #2
    I believe you
    RE, what you are telling me does not sound bizarre at all. I was never sure about an afterlife until my dear father died. My mother (who was not a spiritual person at all, in fact she always scoffed at spiritual things) told me that she saw a white mist rising up from my father's father shortly before he died. She said that when she saw this, she knew it was his spirit leaving his body and shortly after that he died.

    Also, when my father was dying he said (and he was even less spiritual than my mother) that he had to 'go up in the elevator' and talked about 'imaginary people' (I think his loved ones from the afterlife greeting him).

    So Re, you are not crazy. Actually, I found your post incredibly helpful. It's comforting to think that our loved ones are not 'gone,' they are just out of our sight temporarily.

    Hugs, Ohilly
  • Joycelouise
    Joycelouise Member Posts: 482
    #3
    That is beautiful Re. And I
    That is beautiful Re. And I do not think you are unstable. My father "visited" me after he died. I won't go into details, but I am a stable person too. I am/was also a person in need of comfort. And what was particularly wonderful about his brief visit was not that it proved to me the existence of life after death (as a matter of fact I don't really believe in that). What the visit did do is comfort me. At the time and now, as I write about it. Apparantly there is love after death.
    Thank you for writing your story and the lifting my spirits this dark morning before work. I hope that you continue to find comfort. love, Joyce
  • chenheart
    chenheart Member Posts: 5,159
    #4
    Light of Your Life
    You light up my life,
    You give me hope to carry on
    You light up my days,
    and fill my nights with song...

    Believe you me, RE, I had not thought of this song in positively years until this morning reading your sweet post.

    Why this is happening with the touch-lamp I certainly don't know. What I DO know is this: From everything you have told us about your sister, not only did she love lights, she WAS a light.

    Thank you for sharing your sister with us; we are blessed to know her through you.

    Hugs,
    Claudia
  • KathiM
    KathiM Member Posts: 8,028 Member
    #5
    There are angels around us!
    Whatever it is, some things must go unexplained! Now, I suppose the more pragmatic of us COULD explain them...some rotation of the earth, or magnetic field...but we know what we believe in our own hearts.

    Aw, RE...I have had such things happen to me. At last count, in the years since my diagnosis, I have had to say 'goodbye' to 6 people. They are still with me. I don't think of you anything different than a loving, sensitive, spiritual person. I send my warm, caring hugs to you.

    You remain in this world because you are not done with what you are here to do. Spreading a quiet peace is obviously one of your tasks. Thank you.

    Hugs, Kathi
  • Marcia527
    Marcia527 Member Posts: 2,729
    #6
    In your previous posting I
    In your previous posting I didn't know how to respond about your sister. I can tell you I've had personal dealings with things that can't be explained. I've only told a few people close to me because others would think I was a nut case too. I will tell you about the time I was on chemo and very sick. I was depressed because my Mom wasn't here to comfort me. She had died in 2001 of ovarian cancer. Some time after this I was half awake and half asleep and I felt a pressure in the middle of my forehead, like someone was touching me. Then I felt waves of comfort fill my body. I lay very still to see what would happen and it lasted a minute or two and stopped. At the same time the waves stopped, the pressure on my forehead stopped. It's then that I remembered I'd wished my Mom were here to comfort me. Other things have happened too. I wanted to tell you in your previous posting that your sister still exists but decided that might not comfort you. She found a way of doing it herself.
  • RE
    RE Member Posts: 4,591 Member
    #7
    Thank You All
    Thank you all for listening, caring and even sharing a few of you touching moments. Somehow I just knew you all would understand and be supportive. I truly treasure each and every one of you.

    Much Love,

    RE
  • ninjamom
    ninjamom Member Posts: 142
    #8
    Thank you for sharing. My
    Thank you for sharing. My deceased father visits with me,usually in dreams, and has actually scolded me for not taking care of myself but for the most part he lets me know he's just checking on me to see how I'm doing. Also my mother-in-law who died of breast cancer 3 years ago.

    Strange? No It's our way of staying in touch, specially when we need it the most.

    Patty
  • mmontero38
    mmontero38 Member Posts: 1,510
    #9
    Re, once again thank YOU for sharing with us. I don't think you're a nut case. Unexplained things have been known to happen, and I am sure it is your sister letting you know she is ok. Take comfort from that light. Hugs dear friend, Lili
  • tasha_111
    tasha_111 Member Posts: 2,072
    #10
    ninjamom said:

    Thank you for sharing. My
    Thank you for sharing. My deceased father visits with me,usually in dreams, and has actually scolded me for not taking care of myself but for the most part he lets me know he's just checking on me to see how I'm doing. Also my mother-in-law who died of breast cancer 3 years ago.

    Strange? No It's our way of staying in touch, specially when we need it the most.

    Patty

    Thank you for sharing, it helped me understand why my wonderful Auntie Jean still visits me in times of need. Your post made my hair (well fuzz) stand up and prickle, I can still smell her perfume when she has gone. Nice to know they are still around though. Thanks Julia
  • phoenixrising
    phoenixrising Member Posts: 1,508
    #11
    Re: That's the coolest experience I've heard of in a long time. You're sister connected with you at a time when you were thinking of her. Lights on and off, that's amazing. What a special Christmas you'll have knowing she's close. Thank you for sharing it.
    love
    jan
  • zahalene
    zahalene Member Posts: 670
    #12
    phoenixrising said:

    Re: That's the coolest experience I've heard of in a long time. You're sister connected with you at a time when you were thinking of her. Lights on and off, that's amazing. What a special Christmas you'll have knowing she's close. Thank you for sharing it.
    love
    jan

    The Spirit of Love
    All is not confined by the tomb.
    There is a spirit set free to roam
    When the body ceases to be,
    And the soul has risen, light and free.
    It is the essence of a loving heart;
    What remains is the purest part
    Of the one you have laid to rest
    With tears of grief upon her breast.
    So when you glance toward an open door,
    Hearing a foot-step that is no more,
    Or feel her hand brush your hair,
    Or sense her presence in a favorite chair;
    And if your mind cries, "She has died!"
    Then let your heart in faith reply,
    "She is not dead, nor am I alone,
    For her love of me lingers on."
    By Barbara Carleton (aka Zahalene)
  • phoenixrising
    phoenixrising Member Posts: 1,508
    #13
    zahalene said:

    The Spirit of Love
    All is not confined by the tomb.
    There is a spirit set free to roam
    When the body ceases to be,
    And the soul has risen, light and free.
    It is the essence of a loving heart;
    What remains is the purest part
    Of the one you have laid to rest
    With tears of grief upon her breast.
    So when you glance toward an open door,
    Hearing a foot-step that is no more,
    Or feel her hand brush your hair,
    Or sense her presence in a favorite chair;
    And if your mind cries, "She has died!"
    Then let your heart in faith reply,
    "She is not dead, nor am I alone,
    For her love of me lingers on."
    By Barbara Carleton (aka Zahalene)

    Oh Barbara, that is
    Oh Barbara, that is absolutely amazing. What a beautiful poem. You are so talented!!
    Thank you
    jan
  • chenheart
    chenheart Member Posts: 5,159
    #14
    zahalene said:

    The Spirit of Love
    All is not confined by the tomb.
    There is a spirit set free to roam
    When the body ceases to be,
    And the soul has risen, light and free.
    It is the essence of a loving heart;
    What remains is the purest part
    Of the one you have laid to rest
    With tears of grief upon her breast.
    So when you glance toward an open door,
    Hearing a foot-step that is no more,
    Or feel her hand brush your hair,
    Or sense her presence in a favorite chair;
    And if your mind cries, "She has died!"
    Then let your heart in faith reply,
    "She is not dead, nor am I alone,
    For her love of me lingers on."
    By Barbara Carleton (aka Zahalene)

    Poem
    Zah~ How wonderful of you to put feelngs to words~ just what was needed!!!!

    Thank you for being who you are!!


    Hugs,
    Claudia
  • mmontero38
    mmontero38 Member Posts: 1,510
    #15
    zahalene said:

    The Spirit of Love
    All is not confined by the tomb.
    There is a spirit set free to roam
    When the body ceases to be,
    And the soul has risen, light and free.
    It is the essence of a loving heart;
    What remains is the purest part
    Of the one you have laid to rest
    With tears of grief upon her breast.
    So when you glance toward an open door,
    Hearing a foot-step that is no more,
    Or feel her hand brush your hair,
    Or sense her presence in a favorite chair;
    And if your mind cries, "She has died!"
    Then let your heart in faith reply,
    "She is not dead, nor am I alone,
    For her love of me lingers on."
    By Barbara Carleton (aka Zahalene)

    What an honor it is to be
    What an honor it is to be surrounded by such talented and lovely people. Zah, that was beautiful and it brought me to tears. I am so sure that RE will feel comforted by your words as we all were. Hugs Zah, and thank you, Lili
  • RE
    RE Member Posts: 4,591 Member
    #16
    zahalene said:

    The Spirit of Love
    All is not confined by the tomb.
    There is a spirit set free to roam
    When the body ceases to be,
    And the soul has risen, light and free.
    It is the essence of a loving heart;
    What remains is the purest part
    Of the one you have laid to rest
    With tears of grief upon her breast.
    So when you glance toward an open door,
    Hearing a foot-step that is no more,
    Or feel her hand brush your hair,
    Or sense her presence in a favorite chair;
    And if your mind cries, "She has died!"
    Then let your heart in faith reply,
    "She is not dead, nor am I alone,
    For her love of me lingers on."
    By Barbara Carleton (aka Zahalene)

    POEM
    How beautiful Zah, thank you for sharing it, you has truly touched my heart, you have all touched my heart!

    Much Love,

    RE
  • GreeneyedGirl
    GreeneyedGirl Member Posts: 1,077
    #17
    RE said:

    POEM
    How beautiful Zah, thank you for sharing it, you has truly touched my heart, you have all touched my heart!

    Much Love,

    RE

    Season of Lights
    RE,, I just got home from a trip to the cascade mountains getting a christmas tree. In this season of lights-I think we all will think of your sister, and you. Light helps us find our way in the darkness,and brings warmth to us. Perhaps she was blowing you heavenly kisses and made that light turn on. Once, I felt like my mothers spirit rested in the bed next to me as I recovered from surgery. I so longed for her presence to be with me, comforting me with a mothers touch. I envision God opening a window from Heaven to let her look down and see He is taking good care of me.
    Nuts? I don't think so. We are just sensitive to spiritual things perhaps.
    Hugs and warm thoughts.
    M
  • dbs1673
    dbs1673 Member Posts: 203
    #18
    comforting
    How I have so enjoyed reading all these posts. Re as you continue to express your grief in the loss of your sister you continue to bring out the best in what life and love are all about. That certainly can't be crazy!! I too have had similiar experiences. While trying to deal with my own down days, I focus on one of my yoga mantras:
    I am created by Divine Light
    I am sustained by Divine Light
    I am protected by Divine Light
    I am surrounded by Divine Light
    I am ever growing into Divine Light
    May all of our lights shine in this holiday season!

    dawn

Discussion Boards