Flat Chest
Comments
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Joyce, don't sweat it. WordsJoycelouise said:Here, tucked away, I want to
Here, tucked away, I want to write something. There is no real point to it. It is something I used to say and it haunts me now. I think I will feel better if I write it down. I can't imagine anyone else has said this and now I feel like a fool.
I used to say, and laugh..."Breast cancer? I will worry about getting breast cancer after I get breasts!" I thought it was funny because I was flat chested. I said it so often I didn't go check my breasts. Guess I was wrong. And stupid.
There, I told someone. I don't know if I feel better...but I think I will eventually heal better for not keeping that inside for the rest of my life.
Thanks for listening,
love, Joyce
Joyce, don't sweat it. Words don't make us get cancer. I shiver in embarrassment when I think about the things I said and did before cancer. We learned something, and I think in the big picture if there's a point or reason to all this it's that -- become better, wiser, more compassionate, aware people.
Love you!
Kim0 -
In 2002 I had an ovarianJoycelouise said:Here, tucked away, I want to
Here, tucked away, I want to write something. There is no real point to it. It is something I used to say and it haunts me now. I think I will feel better if I write it down. I can't imagine anyone else has said this and now I feel like a fool.
I used to say, and laugh..."Breast cancer? I will worry about getting breast cancer after I get breasts!" I thought it was funny because I was flat chested. I said it so often I didn't go check my breasts. Guess I was wrong. And stupid.
There, I told someone. I don't know if I feel better...but I think I will eventually heal better for not keeping that inside for the rest of my life.
Thanks for listening,
love, Joyce
In 2002 I had an ovarian cyst and the doctor wanted to remove it. He was very concerned because of my family history, Mom died of ovarian cancer in 2001 and sister had uterine cancer in 2002. I told him it didn't mean I'd get cancer there. If I was destined to get cancer, it'd go somewhere and to myself I thought, "Yeah, it'd be my luck to get breast cancer." I didn't do anything with the cyst and it cleared up on it's own. At least it didn't show on the scans they took during staging. I still didn't do self exams though.
My point being, life is a learning experience. If we could see into the future, we'd do all the right things (wouldn't we?). You shouldn't beat yourself up over something in the past. It's easy to say but hard to do.0 -
There is a federal law that states Insurance companies have to cover you for breast reconstruction after a breast cancer diagnosis. Even medicare covers, so if you ladies want to do your reconstruction, I would definitely call up the insurance company and look into it. I don't think it matters how many years have passed. Hugs, Lilichenheart said:Boob-Job!
I actually wish that I had reconstruction done! Since the lumpectomy, and where the tumor was situated on my breast has left me very "dented" and no bras ever fit anymore. Bathing suits are a nightmare, as you might imagine. The only good thing is that with my tell-tale port dent/scar and my misshapen boob peering from the top of my bathing suit, it definitely deflects attention away from the cellulite on my thighs!!
Neither my GP, surgeon, oncologist, radiologist , or the insurance companies ever suggested reconstruction as an option, or even let me know it was covered. I would have had a reduction on the "unaffected" side and of course a re-shaping of the breast with the cancer. 5 years later, I doubt that my insurance would deem it necessary, even though I certainly do. I think I might just ask my oncologist at my next appointment....
BTW.....Big Time Congrats on being a 9 year survivor~ whooo hooooooo!!!0 -
Aritzan, I'm 53 and I had aMarcia527 said:In 2002 I had an ovarian
In 2002 I had an ovarian cyst and the doctor wanted to remove it. He was very concerned because of my family history, Mom died of ovarian cancer in 2001 and sister had uterine cancer in 2002. I told him it didn't mean I'd get cancer there. If I was destined to get cancer, it'd go somewhere and to myself I thought, "Yeah, it'd be my luck to get breast cancer." I didn't do anything with the cyst and it cleared up on it's own. At least it didn't show on the scans they took during staging. I still didn't do self exams though.
My point being, life is a learning experience. If we could see into the future, we'd do all the right things (wouldn't we?). You shouldn't beat yourself up over something in the past. It's easy to say but hard to do.
Aritzan, I'm 53 and I had a mastectomy on my right breast. I do not plan to get reconstructive surgery. My granddaugther gave me a pair of fakes that she use with her prom dress to make it fit better. I use one in my bra when I need too. By the way, I was only a 32A . I can't stand to have a bra on a long time. So must of the time I wear tee shirts with out the bra. But when I want to look sexy .I wear the fake and my clothing fits find.0 -
In breast cancer size doesn't matter---------Joycelouise said:Here, tucked away, I want to
Here, tucked away, I want to write something. There is no real point to it. It is something I used to say and it haunts me now. I think I will feel better if I write it down. I can't imagine anyone else has said this and now I feel like a fool.
I used to say, and laugh..."Breast cancer? I will worry about getting breast cancer after I get breasts!" I thought it was funny because I was flat chested. I said it so often I didn't go check my breasts. Guess I was wrong. And stupid.
There, I told someone. I don't know if I feel better...but I think I will eventually heal better for not keeping that inside for the rest of my life.
Thanks for listening,
love, Joyce
I can identify with having been small. I was a 36 A - not very well endowed. I remember hearing the phrase "pirate's delight" as a teenager and thought it fit me pretty well. Now I truly have a sunken chest. Strange how things happen in this world. You just have to keep a sense of humor and know that we are stronger and more compassionate for all that we have gone through. I am feeling better, even after all these years, knowing that there are other women out there like me. I guess there will always be the tough moments.
I am the third generation in my family to get breast cancer. I can't speak for my grandmother but my mother, my sister and I were all small. Two other ladies I know who recently battled breast cancer are very small too.0 -
Suzy - Congratulation on 18 months!dnsmac96 said:I am 40 years old and an 18
I am 40 years old and an 18 month survivor. I too have opted for no reconstruction and do not like to wear prosthetics. I am pretty comfortable with myself but I have my days. I have sought out other women whom have chosen this option for life as well. Having walked in 3 American Cancer Society walks, I figured this is the best place to start. I am thankful to hear your story. Suzy
I think we all have our days when we stop to think about things. I remember after my diagnosis wondering if everything I did would be for the last time. After watching my father and my sister die of cancer it seemed as though my days were numbered. I am thankful to be alive all these years later. I watched my son graduate high school and college, attended both of my daughter's weddings, and now enjoy 3 (soon to be 4) grandsons. There is so much to be thankful for in life that the good days surely out number the bad.0 -
Joyce.. I was even more guiltyJoycelouise said:Here, tucked away, I want to
Here, tucked away, I want to write something. There is no real point to it. It is something I used to say and it haunts me now. I think I will feel better if I write it down. I can't imagine anyone else has said this and now I feel like a fool.
I used to say, and laugh..."Breast cancer? I will worry about getting breast cancer after I get breasts!" I thought it was funny because I was flat chested. I said it so often I didn't go check my breasts. Guess I was wrong. And stupid.
There, I told someone. I don't know if I feel better...but I think I will eventually heal better for not keeping that inside for the rest of my life.
Thanks for listening,
love, Joyce
I developed early and huge (a great source of amusement for the lads at school) I actually went to the doctor to reduce or even Remove them at 15....He dismissed me of course. I was 44DD before the surgery and all that jazz, I think one side is now down to 32a. Well lobsided. Here's a thought! Why dont they take the painful one off and stick the good one in the middle, Hey it would streamline me for carrying shopping bags, That seat belt wouldn't be as much of a problem as it is, and besides, I hardly need them as a sexual lure at my age (47).... I'll as my very caring and endlessly charming onc......(Yeah Dr Charisma-Bypass!).... Good luck all Julia0 -
opted fortasha_111 said:Joyce.. I was even more guilty
I developed early and huge (a great source of amusement for the lads at school) I actually went to the doctor to reduce or even Remove them at 15....He dismissed me of course. I was 44DD before the surgery and all that jazz, I think one side is now down to 32a. Well lobsided. Here's a thought! Why dont they take the painful one off and stick the good one in the middle, Hey it would streamline me for carrying shopping bags, That seat belt wouldn't be as much of a problem as it is, and besides, I hardly need them as a sexual lure at my age (47).... I'll as my very caring and endlessly charming onc......(Yeah Dr Charisma-Bypass!).... Good luck all Julia
I'm 48 and I did decide to go ahead with reconstruction. I made the decision to begin the process when my double mas was done. I had positve diagnosis in the right and after having so many biopsies on the left opted to "take care of that one now" rather than wait to go through this again. I liked the idea of knowing that as I was ridding my body of the cancer I was going to be rebuilding myself at the same time. What I absolutely couldn't stand were those people who said things like, "well you didn't really need them anyway" or because I was small (34A) I got to hear "great, now you can pick your size!". I was rather partial to what I had and was not looking for a boob job! Not to mention how quickly people ask if your having the reconstruction. You just told them you have cancer for goodness sake! I had the expanders put in, found out I needed radiation and now have to wait appx 6 months to continue for the implants. The waiting has been very hard (matches the feel of the implants!). I wasn't ready for the impact and length of time for the whole process. What I'm now trying to see is that the physical reconstruction is matching my emotions..... hard, time consuming, depressing, sometimes "uplifting". I loved the description earlier of a buried treasure chest. This whole thing is a process and a journey. I have no regrets about what I've done so far. Not wearing any bras right now, but perhaps a shopping trip to Victoria's Secret is in my future! I've got lots of questions about the rest of the process so you'll be hearing more from me ladies.
dawn0 -
Dawn, I loved your use ofdbs1673 said:opted for
I'm 48 and I did decide to go ahead with reconstruction. I made the decision to begin the process when my double mas was done. I had positve diagnosis in the right and after having so many biopsies on the left opted to "take care of that one now" rather than wait to go through this again. I liked the idea of knowing that as I was ridding my body of the cancer I was going to be rebuilding myself at the same time. What I absolutely couldn't stand were those people who said things like, "well you didn't really need them anyway" or because I was small (34A) I got to hear "great, now you can pick your size!". I was rather partial to what I had and was not looking for a boob job! Not to mention how quickly people ask if your having the reconstruction. You just told them you have cancer for goodness sake! I had the expanders put in, found out I needed radiation and now have to wait appx 6 months to continue for the implants. The waiting has been very hard (matches the feel of the implants!). I wasn't ready for the impact and length of time for the whole process. What I'm now trying to see is that the physical reconstruction is matching my emotions..... hard, time consuming, depressing, sometimes "uplifting". I loved the description earlier of a buried treasure chest. This whole thing is a process and a journey. I have no regrets about what I've done so far. Not wearing any bras right now, but perhaps a shopping trip to Victoria's Secret is in my future! I've got lots of questions about the rest of the process so you'll be hearing more from me ladies.
dawn
Dawn, I loved your use of reconstruction to parallel your emotions. I am getting expander in a few weeks. I am not looking forward to dressing around everchanging one boob size. Goodness, I am going to need graduated bra stuffers and then I can use the stuffers for the "good" side since they over expand before implants. Now you might say, who is paying that much attention to your chest anyway to see these changes. Well, I work with 125 teenage felons who don't see a lot of females. But, as I say, I used to worry about them looking down my shirt and seeing my breasts. I am tired now of worrying they will look down my shirt and NOT see a breast. So, I will get through this too, I am sure. I think I may use your good attitude a little for help! thanks and love, Joyce0 -
another I get it
Oh Joyce, do I ever get what you're saying. You work with juvenile felones, I'm a juvenile probation officer. Next time you hear one of those kids say how they "want to bust out" just think you can get a good laugh and say " yea, I can relate!" Don't let me get rolling, I can come up with way too many one liners!!! Have a laugh today.
dawn0 -
Dawn: I'm happy you decideddbs1673 said:opted for
I'm 48 and I did decide to go ahead with reconstruction. I made the decision to begin the process when my double mas was done. I had positve diagnosis in the right and after having so many biopsies on the left opted to "take care of that one now" rather than wait to go through this again. I liked the idea of knowing that as I was ridding my body of the cancer I was going to be rebuilding myself at the same time. What I absolutely couldn't stand were those people who said things like, "well you didn't really need them anyway" or because I was small (34A) I got to hear "great, now you can pick your size!". I was rather partial to what I had and was not looking for a boob job! Not to mention how quickly people ask if your having the reconstruction. You just told them you have cancer for goodness sake! I had the expanders put in, found out I needed radiation and now have to wait appx 6 months to continue for the implants. The waiting has been very hard (matches the feel of the implants!). I wasn't ready for the impact and length of time for the whole process. What I'm now trying to see is that the physical reconstruction is matching my emotions..... hard, time consuming, depressing, sometimes "uplifting". I loved the description earlier of a buried treasure chest. This whole thing is a process and a journey. I have no regrets about what I've done so far. Not wearing any bras right now, but perhaps a shopping trip to Victoria's Secret is in my future! I've got lots of questions about the rest of the process so you'll be hearing more from me ladies.
dawn
Dawn: I'm happy you decided to go for the reconstruction. It does seem like it takes forever doesn't it? I was dx 18 months ago and will be going for my last reconstruction procedure next month and I hope it is the last one. Many changes in our lives and hopefully the impact will leave a lesson learned, being that life is indeed short and we need to live it to the fullest. Ask away hopefully we will have the answers for you. And Dawn, plan that trip to Victoria's you deserve it. Hugs, Lili0 -
Cool, Dawn, to be in thedbs1673 said:another I get it
Oh Joyce, do I ever get what you're saying. You work with juvenile felones, I'm a juvenile probation officer. Next time you hear one of those kids say how they "want to bust out" just think you can get a good laugh and say " yea, I can relate!" Don't let me get rolling, I can come up with way too many one liners!!! Have a laugh today.
dawn
Cool, Dawn, to be in the sorta the same line of work. I never told my work kids except after it was over about my battle and then just a few. I guess it was good for me to continue working with kids who had problems as big as mine and who I didn't want to burden further. I work in Sloughhouse, California. Keep up the good work with those kids! love, Joyce0 -
stories
Whether it's kids or cancer patients we all have a story and that's what I try to tell them. You can never know just to look at someone what they are going through. I know I have learned to be a bit more tolerant since going through this ordeal. I'm hoping what hasn't been good for our bodies can turn into something good for our person. I live/work in PA so I guess this is clearly a coast to coast issue. Joyce,I'm glad the kids you work with have you for an example!0 -
Amen, dbs, I have learneddbs1673 said:stories
Whether it's kids or cancer patients we all have a story and that's what I try to tell them. You can never know just to look at someone what they are going through. I know I have learned to be a bit more tolerant since going through this ordeal. I'm hoping what hasn't been good for our bodies can turn into something good for our person. I live/work in PA so I guess this is clearly a coast to coast issue. Joyce,I'm glad the kids you work with have you for an example!
Amen, dbs, I have learned the same lesson. love ya, Joyce0 -
BOOBS GONEdnsmac96 said:I am 40 years old and an 18
I am 40 years old and an 18 month survivor. I too have opted for no reconstruction and do not like to wear prosthetics. I am pretty comfortable with myself but I have my days. I have sought out other women whom have chosen this option for life as well. Having walked in 3 American Cancer Society walks, I figured this is the best place to start. I am thankful to hear your story. Suzy
WOW, WAS SO GLAD TO READ ALL THE COMMENTS ABOUT NO RECONSTRUCTION. I WAS DIAGNOSED IN 2003, HAD PLANNED ON DOING THE RECONSTRUCTION. HAD THE FIRST MASTECTOMY, CHEMO, RADIATION, THEN THE SECOND MASTECTOMY. I HAD A REAL BAD EXPERIENCE WITH MY RADIATION. HAD THIRD DEGREE BURNS, RAN A TEMP OF 103, AND WAS IN THE HOSPITAL FOR A WEEK. GOT POKED WITH MORE NEEDLES THAN WANT TO COUNT. THAT WAS THE STRAW THAT BROKE THE CAMELS BACK. I WAS TIRED OF NEEDLES, DOCTORS, NURSES, HOSPITALS, THE WHOLE THING, SO I SAID NO MORE SURGERIES.
ABOUT A LITTLE OVER A YEAR AGO, I WANTED TO "LOOK NORMAL", WAS TIRED OF THE PROTHESIS. I CHECKED WITH A COUPLE OF PLASTIC SURGEONS AND THE PROCEDURE WAS GOING TO BE REAL INVASIVE, MORE SO THAN THE MASTECTOMY WAS. RECOVERY PERIOD A LOT LONGER AND PAINFULL. I STOPPED AND REALIZED THAT I DIDN'T WANT TO WASTE ANY MORE TIME RECOVERY FROM ANOTHER SURGERY, AND THERE WERE TOO MANY OTHER THINGS I WANTED TO DO.
SO I TELL MY FRIENDS THAT HOW GREAT IT IS FOR A WOMAN TO COME HOME TAKE HER BOOBS AND HER BRA OFF!!!!!
I WISH I HAD IT IN ME TO NOT WEAR THEM AT ALL OUTSIDE OF MY HOUSE. I AM AFRAID OF WHAT PEOPLE MIGHT THINK OR SAY, ESPECIALLY THOSE WHO KNOW WHAT I HAVE HAD.
SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME HOW YOU GO FROM LOOKING LIKE YOU HAVE BOOBS TO NOT. I REALLY HATE WEARING THE BRA AND THE TWO HEAVY ATTACHMENTS!!!!!0 -
Booblessdishillcutt said:BOOBS GONE
WOW, WAS SO GLAD TO READ ALL THE COMMENTS ABOUT NO RECONSTRUCTION. I WAS DIAGNOSED IN 2003, HAD PLANNED ON DOING THE RECONSTRUCTION. HAD THE FIRST MASTECTOMY, CHEMO, RADIATION, THEN THE SECOND MASTECTOMY. I HAD A REAL BAD EXPERIENCE WITH MY RADIATION. HAD THIRD DEGREE BURNS, RAN A TEMP OF 103, AND WAS IN THE HOSPITAL FOR A WEEK. GOT POKED WITH MORE NEEDLES THAN WANT TO COUNT. THAT WAS THE STRAW THAT BROKE THE CAMELS BACK. I WAS TIRED OF NEEDLES, DOCTORS, NURSES, HOSPITALS, THE WHOLE THING, SO I SAID NO MORE SURGERIES.
ABOUT A LITTLE OVER A YEAR AGO, I WANTED TO "LOOK NORMAL", WAS TIRED OF THE PROTHESIS. I CHECKED WITH A COUPLE OF PLASTIC SURGEONS AND THE PROCEDURE WAS GOING TO BE REAL INVASIVE, MORE SO THAN THE MASTECTOMY WAS. RECOVERY PERIOD A LOT LONGER AND PAINFULL. I STOPPED AND REALIZED THAT I DIDN'T WANT TO WASTE ANY MORE TIME RECOVERY FROM ANOTHER SURGERY, AND THERE WERE TOO MANY OTHER THINGS I WANTED TO DO.
SO I TELL MY FRIENDS THAT HOW GREAT IT IS FOR A WOMAN TO COME HOME TAKE HER BOOBS AND HER BRA OFF!!!!!
I WISH I HAD IT IN ME TO NOT WEAR THEM AT ALL OUTSIDE OF MY HOUSE. I AM AFRAID OF WHAT PEOPLE MIGHT THINK OR SAY, ESPECIALLY THOSE WHO KNOW WHAT I HAVE HAD.
SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME HOW YOU GO FROM LOOKING LIKE YOU HAVE BOOBS TO NOT. I REALLY HATE WEARING THE BRA AND THE TWO HEAVY ATTACHMENTS!!!!!
I too am glad for the support of others here who have made the same decision that I have - going boobless. I completely agree that going through another surgery and more doctor visits was a big part of the reason I did not have reconstruction. The other is that after looking at photos of results I was not impressed. I do not wear any prosthesis day to day. Most people don't notice. I too can find humor when others around me are complaining about their bras. I say - not me! I guess you make the decision that you don't care what others think. If they know you, they should understand. If they don't know you, they have no business judging your appearance. I have trouble with clothes fitting and usually end up altering nearly everything I buy. I would be easier to buy clothes but I will only wear cotton so I am limited. The other issue that creeps up from time to time is that I no longer feel sexy. I cried nearly every time my husband and I were intimate for more than 5 years and those thoughts creep into my mind from time to time but I usually manage to get on with things. It is hard when we live in a world full of boobs everywhere you turn in advertising and entertainment.0 -
Missing our breastsartizan said:Suzy - Congratulation on 18 months!
I think we all have our days when we stop to think about things. I remember after my diagnosis wondering if everything I did would be for the last time. After watching my father and my sister die of cancer it seemed as though my days were numbered. I am thankful to be alive all these years later. I watched my son graduate high school and college, attended both of my daughter's weddings, and now enjoy 3 (soon to be 4) grandsons. There is so much to be thankful for in life that the good days surely out number the bad.
Finally I found someone who has missed their breasts while being intimate with their
husband. I have been without my breasts now for 3 years and I too still cry while
being intimate, sometimes I'm okay but other times I miss them so much it hurts.
I'm so thankful my husband is so understanding. I'm so glad I'm not alone I was beginning
to think it was just me.
Melissa0 -
Hey Artizan,artizan said:no reconstruction, no prosthethics, just me
I am 54 years old and a 9 year cancer survivor. 8 years ago I had my second breast removed prophylactically. Reconstruction was not advised as an immediate option.
For that 1st year I wore my prosthesis which was uncomfortable and unnatural. I miss my breasts and don't feel very feminine. I have thought recently about reconstruction but don't think I would be happy with the end result.
Anyone else out there feeling this way? Day to day I am pretty happy with who I am but I have a lot of trouble with clothing. Does anyone know of anyone who specializes in clothing for us double mastectomy girls. Are there any support groups for those of us who choose to go without the fake boobs.
aritzan
I am 52 years old, and a 5 year survivor the 16h of this month. Reconstruction was a consideration for me when I was diagnosed. But after my 3rd degree radiation burns and all I went through before that, I didn't want anymore surgeries, and there were not any guarantees the doctor could do what they hoped to.
My husband is the total best, it was my decision. I always wondered if he hated the way I looked, you know he told me he hated what the doctors had to do to me, and all I went through. Yea, sometimes I wish I could look normal when I undress, but then again "what is the definition of normal"?? I try not to think about how I look, but how lucky I am to be here and all the blessings I have in my life.
I am just gratefull to be alive and enjoy the time I can have with my husband and share in the great accomplishments my 19 year old is doing in college.
My breast do not define who I am - the bras are uncomfortable, the prothesis are heavy, and I just wish I had the guts to not wear them ALL the time.
I am now trying to help one of my dear friends who has just been diagnosed with breast cancer. She has chosen like I did to have the other breast removed. She realizes that right now what is important is to get well. I told her that when she gets done with treatments, she can decide what she wants to do, but now getting well is what counts.
I think you are right, we need a support group for us women who don't like the falsies!!!!
Di0 -
I Hear You!artizan said:no reconstruction, no prosthethics, just me
I am 54 years old and a 9 year cancer survivor. 8 years ago I had my second breast removed prophylactically. Reconstruction was not advised as an immediate option.
For that 1st year I wore my prosthesis which was uncomfortable and unnatural. I miss my breasts and don't feel very feminine. I have thought recently about reconstruction but don't think I would be happy with the end result.
Anyone else out there feeling this way? Day to day I am pretty happy with who I am but I have a lot of trouble with clothing. Does anyone know of anyone who specializes in clothing for us double mastectomy girls. Are there any support groups for those of us who choose to go without the fake boobs.
aritzan
Hi! I was diagnosed with CA in 2007 and had a right mastectomy and a year later had a left mastectomy as part of the reconstruction process. This process didn't go well for me and after 3 surgeries in 3 months, I've come to accept myself flat chested. I just go to the thrift store and find blouses that don't have any darts in them and that seems to work out okay. It may be an option to get person that does alterations to fix the pieces of clothing that you do like to accommodate you. That's what I'm thinking of doing. Don't know about any support groups just for us where we are at - if you find one - let us know! Take care!
Susan0
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