Positive Attitude and Faith in God Survives
Comments
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Young_Oneyoung_one said:young_one
I would like to know the answer to that question myself.
I know many women who had a very stong faith, beautiful hearts, and were wonderfully uplifting that died. I guess they should have prayed harder and smiled more. On the flip side of that coin, I also know of a man that died 8 years after his cancer diagnosis and he was the meanest man I ever met.
I find this positive attitude argument to be a way to blame the patient. I did nothing to deserve cancer or a potential early death. It's not attitude that saves/kills us. It's the biology of cancer... plain and simple.
I had cancer. I'm pissed about it. I guess that means I am going to die. I should call my oncologist and cancel all my future appointments. I guess all that treatment I took doesn't amount to a hill of beans. I should have stayed home and worked on my smile.
Please do not misunderstand, I feel grateful to be alive right now but I also have every right to look back at this past year and be angry/sad/overwhelmed about what has happened to me. I am changed. Maybe not for the better. I find joy in life every single day and I love living but I also know that I have an intense hate for what cancer has done to me and my family. Cancer has tainted it all. There's always a black cloud in the sky. Cancer won't let me forget. And I have a right to every single feeling that I have about it because stifling my anger at cancer is exhausting and is not good for my health either.
I'm glad you didn't leave.I would love to talk to you about feelings! But I'm busy now.
Will reply later.Read reply to Stallman. Keep the Faith!0 -
I'm a believer. I know itCR1954 said:Positive attitude and faith...
All I know is that if I did not have a positive attitude and lots of faith, I would never have had the courage to face this and go through treatment. It admittedly took me awhile to get the positive attitude, but without it, I would have simply stayed home and died.
All of my doctors...from surgeon, to family doctor, to onc, have told me that I have a great attitude and positive outlook, and that is half the battle in all of this. I have to believe that what they are telling me is true. If not, I would just give up. I know that not everyone who feels this way actually beats the beast and wins. But I do know that it sure helps me cope with what I need to do to try!
Just my opinion.
CR
I'm a believer. I know it is God's GRACE AND MERCY. That's keeping me going . Yes I hate I got cancer, but I thank God for being with me. This is how I feel.0 -
Stallman-I Love Lifestallman said:I firmly believe in "I love
I firmly believe in "I love life" attitude. Live by it. But many people that I love have been lost and they had great attitudes about life and a very stong Faith. Sometimes your purpose here in this life is just done and that is OK. I don't understand it, but that is ok. I just don't ever want someone struggling with cancer to think they don't have enough of a good attitude, or a stong enough Faith or that they aren't a good enough person. God can cure anything, yes-but sometimes that is not the plan. An "I love life" attitude is awesome, but it doesn't cure cancer.
I Love Life,too.No,Love doesn't cure Cancer,Mankind does! Science has made great strides in fighting cancer in the last 30 years and they may not find a cure in my lifetime or yours,but they will.But your attitude towards living with cancer does.If you don't belive that this can be beatten and give up,then you will be beatten.If you belive that you have done all that you can and science can no longer help,then maybe it is time to leave the fight to someone else. But this doesn't mean that you have given up,it just means that it is time for you to rest and let others cotinue to fight the beast till it is defeated and we can all rest together.
Love and Hugs to you.Robert0 -
hummingbyrd
How about looking at it from this angle though.
'Survival rates are not affected by positive attitude' is what you read. Studies have shown that the more positive attitude you have will not affect outcome. Is what I have read before.
this makes sense to me.
Why? because you can be the most negative person and survive cancer or the most positive and die. They are the facts.
As a cancer survivor I don't want to feel I caused my cancer to come back because I wasn't positive enough. Being negative, sad, scared and pissed off are healthy normal feelings.
You say you are a survivor because you have a positive attitude? it wasn't the chemo or treatments or surgery that saved your life? Maybe a positive attitude can help you get through treatments but it not a cure for cancer.
If it was why are my positive friends not here anymore?
I just don't think its a good idea to tell cancer patients to be positive and that they will survive if they do so. (not that your doing that,i'm just saying in general) It puts the blame on the survivor.
if being positive and having belief in god give you strength to get through then that is great, however, its not for everyone and certainly doesn't guarantee a cure.
Maybe the article is making some people feel better that they don't have to be positive all the time, and when they are down they can be relieved to know that they are not causing themselves a greater risk of recurrence.0 -
maryfszmaryfsz said:Dear Hummingbyrd;
You've raised a great battle cry for the sisterhood here. This is a wonderful way to get our blood up. There is not a single cancer survivor that would agree with those findings. We all know that you must have faith and you must have a positive attitude. That is the ONLY thing you really have control of--especially during this time in your life. Attitude is everything.
If you don't believe it...just ask those who have not survived. Guess you can't.
KEEP the faith for all of us. Sometimes we might have to depend on one of our sisters to have a good attitude for us. But that is what we are here for...to share and to give back when we have enough to go around and to receive when we need it.
Love to all,
Mary
You cannot speak for all survivors. i am a breast cancer survivor diagnosed at 31. I would agree with those findings. I don't think that a positive attitude can free anyone from cancer. Can it make your life better while you are here? yes.
You can have the most positive attitude in the world and still succomb to this disease. I know many positive young girls who didn't make it. I was more on the negative/depressed end and i'm still here.
so how can your theory be true?
its not you 'must' have faith and a positive attitude. that is for you but hardly everyone. its not all you have control of. you have control of what treatment you get, what doctors you have, what surgery you decide.
you have control of a lot.
'attitude is everything'
'If you don't believe it...just ask those who have not survived. Guess you can't.'
that is a horrible thing to think and say. so what you are saying is that all my dead friends didn't have a good enough attitude. attitude in NOT everything.
its ok to have a bad attitude sometimes, its normal.0 -
Hate black clouds in the sky!young_one said:young_one
I would like to know the answer to that question myself.
I know many women who had a very stong faith, beautiful hearts, and were wonderfully uplifting that died. I guess they should have prayed harder and smiled more. On the flip side of that coin, I also know of a man that died 8 years after his cancer diagnosis and he was the meanest man I ever met.
I find this positive attitude argument to be a way to blame the patient. I did nothing to deserve cancer or a potential early death. It's not attitude that saves/kills us. It's the biology of cancer... plain and simple.
I had cancer. I'm pissed about it. I guess that means I am going to die. I should call my oncologist and cancel all my future appointments. I guess all that treatment I took doesn't amount to a hill of beans. I should have stayed home and worked on my smile.
Please do not misunderstand, I feel grateful to be alive right now but I also have every right to look back at this past year and be angry/sad/overwhelmed about what has happened to me. I am changed. Maybe not for the better. I find joy in life every single day and I love living but I also know that I have an intense hate for what cancer has done to me and my family. Cancer has tainted it all. There's always a black cloud in the sky. Cancer won't let me forget. And I have a right to every single feeling that I have about it because stifling my anger at cancer is exhausting and is not good for my health either.
My wife is 63 and 6 yrs. ago had Kidney cancer.I'm 56 and last year I had Breast cancer.When I was in my twenties I thought I would be dead by the time I hit 50!I couldn't think about tomorrow let alone 30 years down the road.I used to hate my life for a long time because I thought I was given a raw deal.I hated my jobs,not having money to party with,no car and no home of my own,and no one to share life with.Then,just as I was getting all of this(except the partying part,too old)and thought I would be living on easy street,I got cancer. Talk about a raw deal.I could have gotten mad,hated God for doing this to me and been pissed that someone else didn't get this instead of me.And I did!But as I've gotten older I've learned that that is just a waste of time.It's like rocking in a rocking chair,it gives you something to do but it doesn't get you anywhere.I've learned to let go of my hate for everyone and everything. HATE will eat you up faster than your cancer will!
Yes, you do have the right to your feelings. We all do,good or bad.Your feelings of helplessness,hopelessness,lonelyness,sadness,fustration,hurt,fear,hate,anger and dislike for the situation that you find yourself in.For what cancer has done to you and your family and friends.But get angry at the cancer!Put all your energy and efforts into fighting your cancer and living as a survivor to inspire others to fight for life!
I went to my Breast Cancer Support Group meeting Saturday mornning at a local church and on the classroom blackboard was this:'Love envies not,Love values itself not,Love is not puffed up,Love does not behave unseemly,Love seeketh not her own,Love is not easly provoked, Love thinks no evil,Love rejoices not in iniquity,Love rejoices in truth,Love bears all things,Love believes all things,Love hopes all things,Love endures all things,LOVE NEVER FAILS!" It seemed very appropriate,after I read your comments,for you and all of us battling cancer. May your heart be full of hope and love,not Hate!
All my best to you and lots of hugs,too. Robert0 -
fyiKristisurvivor said:hummingbyrd
How about looking at it from this angle though.
'Survival rates are not affected by positive attitude' is what you read. Studies have shown that the more positive attitude you have will not affect outcome. Is what I have read before.
this makes sense to me.
Why? because you can be the most negative person and survive cancer or the most positive and die. They are the facts.
As a cancer survivor I don't want to feel I caused my cancer to come back because I wasn't positive enough. Being negative, sad, scared and pissed off are healthy normal feelings.
You say you are a survivor because you have a positive attitude? it wasn't the chemo or treatments or surgery that saved your life? Maybe a positive attitude can help you get through treatments but it not a cure for cancer.
If it was why are my positive friends not here anymore?
I just don't think its a good idea to tell cancer patients to be positive and that they will survive if they do so. (not that your doing that,i'm just saying in general) It puts the blame on the survivor.
if being positive and having belief in god give you strength to get through then that is great, however, its not for everyone and certainly doesn't guarantee a cure.
Maybe the article is making some people feel better that they don't have to be positive all the time, and when they are down they can be relieved to know that they are not causing themselves a greater risk of recurrence.
Hi Kristi,
Please take a look at the date of humbyrd's string -- it is dated 2002. The website recently underwent a face lift and I suspect someone got confused with the new Last Reply toggle feature and replied to this string in error thinking it was current.
I think the last time I saw a post from HB was close to two years ago. I hope I'm wrong, but there's a good possibility that she may no longer be with us.
HB -- if you are out there, I hope you are well.
Kim0 -
old postskbc4869 said:fyi
Hi Kristi,
Please take a look at the date of humbyrd's string -- it is dated 2002. The website recently underwent a face lift and I suspect someone got confused with the new Last Reply toggle feature and replied to this string in error thinking it was current.
I think the last time I saw a post from HB was close to two years ago. I hope I'm wrong, but there's a good possibility that she may no longer be with us.
HB -- if you are out there, I hope you are well.
Kim
I made that comment to my husband that there were some old postings from people I never heard of. I wondered where they were, why they stopped posting. I've been posting on another site for a few years and the people who answer questions have all changed. Here is where I get the alarming look in my eyes. He said maybe they got tired of posting. I hope so.0 -
I saw thatkbc4869 said:fyi
Hi Kristi,
Please take a look at the date of humbyrd's string -- it is dated 2002. The website recently underwent a face lift and I suspect someone got confused with the new Last Reply toggle feature and replied to this string in error thinking it was current.
I think the last time I saw a post from HB was close to two years ago. I hope I'm wrong, but there's a good possibility that she may no longer be with us.
HB -- if you are out there, I hope you are well.
Kim
right before i read your message. at first i only saw the responses from 2008 that recently were posted. i never looked at the first thread date.0 -
The Jesus Stick can be offensive...comment by a Devout Christian
I am devout.
I was given to God in a cradle.
I, personally, am very cautious when talking about my own faith base.
I think people promote faith in God as some sort of shield from death.
The body dies. It is our destiny. To ashes we will return.
As Christians, I believe that the eternal life we are offered is not the physical life of this world...but, in the world to come.
Sometimes, people seem to think that people who die lose their lives because they lost their faith.
Judgemental, methinks.
It has my observation that people who are taking harsh chemotherapy treatments do not always walk with a spring in their step. They have dark days. They have "negative attitudes." Some of them question God.
Even Jesus on the cross cried out.
How very human.
Our Father knows his children. (The "principle" behind the footprints.)
He does not require us to dance in the streets when we are suffering.
It's not in my book anywhere.
Tammy Lou0 -
My mother is a 39 year breast cancer survivor, and is now 82. She has the worst attitude of anyone I've ever known. She's negative all the time, about everything, and has been for as long as I can remember.TammyLouBob said:The Jesus Stick can be offensive...comment by a Devout Christian
I am devout.
I was given to God in a cradle.
I, personally, am very cautious when talking about my own faith base.
I think people promote faith in God as some sort of shield from death.
The body dies. It is our destiny. To ashes we will return.
As Christians, I believe that the eternal life we are offered is not the physical life of this world...but, in the world to come.
Sometimes, people seem to think that people who die lose their lives because they lost their faith.
Judgemental, methinks.
It has my observation that people who are taking harsh chemotherapy treatments do not always walk with a spring in their step. They have dark days. They have "negative attitudes." Some of them question God.
Even Jesus on the cross cried out.
How very human.
Our Father knows his children. (The "principle" behind the footprints.)
He does not require us to dance in the streets when we are suffering.
It's not in my book anywhere.
Tammy Lou0 -
ThanksTammyLouBob said:The Jesus Stick can be offensive...comment by a Devout Christian
I am devout.
I was given to God in a cradle.
I, personally, am very cautious when talking about my own faith base.
I think people promote faith in God as some sort of shield from death.
The body dies. It is our destiny. To ashes we will return.
As Christians, I believe that the eternal life we are offered is not the physical life of this world...but, in the world to come.
Sometimes, people seem to think that people who die lose their lives because they lost their faith.
Judgemental, methinks.
It has my observation that people who are taking harsh chemotherapy treatments do not always walk with a spring in their step. They have dark days. They have "negative attitudes." Some of them question God.
Even Jesus on the cross cried out.
How very human.
Our Father knows his children. (The "principle" behind the footprints.)
He does not require us to dance in the streets when we are suffering.
It's not in my book anywhere.
Tammy Lou
TL thanks for writing what I think. Hard for me to put it into words-I have replied to this thread numerous times but never hit 'post'. I have lost many positive people to cancer in my family. And I guess it is the 'hurt' in me that sees some talking about their survival as 'bragging'...sorry, I know that is not the intent, just my warped brain. Different strokes for different folks and that is OK, I respect eveyones opinion.
susan
(suebele):)0 -
The reason I post the numberstallman said:Thanks
TL thanks for writing what I think. Hard for me to put it into words-I have replied to this thread numerous times but never hit 'post'. I have lost many positive people to cancer in my family. And I guess it is the 'hurt' in me that sees some talking about their survival as 'bragging'...sorry, I know that is not the intent, just my warped brain. Different strokes for different folks and that is OK, I respect eveyones opinion.
susan
(suebele):)
The reason I post the number of years I've survived is not to brag but to give hope to others that they can make it too. I never thought of it as bragging. Something for me to think about.
Thanks also to TL-it made me feel better inside.
0 -
having a break throughMarcia527 said:The reason I post the number
The reason I post the number of years I've survived is not to brag but to give hope to others that they can make it too. I never thought of it as bragging. Something for me to think about.
Thanks also to TL-it made me feel better inside.
I, too, am a BC "survivor". 3 years. But, I have always had a hard time with drawing a 'line' at calling myself a survivor. I don't really like the term period. I am a very up beat, positive person...but when refering to myself I am much more realistic. I think this is something that is unique to me and my experiences. Hard for me to not say(this is morbid a bit) if no one in my family has survived(5 people, 2 from BC very young) that I am free of cancer. It is not that I have 'survived', I am just still living by the Grace of God. I am sure this makes no sense to anyone but me:) but that is OK.0 -
I'm really a five yearstallman said:having a break through
I, too, am a BC "survivor". 3 years. But, I have always had a hard time with drawing a 'line' at calling myself a survivor. I don't really like the term period. I am a very up beat, positive person...but when refering to myself I am much more realistic. I think this is something that is unique to me and my experiences. Hard for me to not say(this is morbid a bit) if no one in my family has survived(5 people, 2 from BC very young) that I am free of cancer. It is not that I have 'survived', I am just still living by the Grace of God. I am sure this makes no sense to anyone but me:) but that is OK.
I'm really a five year survivor but didn't find this site until 2006. I don't use the term either except on cancer sites. Actually most people don't talk about my cancer, they avoid it. I understand what you are saying. It sounds like you are looking for answers which is what I am doing too.0 -
Holy crap...stallman said:Thanks
TL thanks for writing what I think. Hard for me to put it into words-I have replied to this thread numerous times but never hit 'post'. I have lost many positive people to cancer in my family. And I guess it is the 'hurt' in me that sees some talking about their survival as 'bragging'...sorry, I know that is not the intent, just my warped brain. Different strokes for different folks and that is OK, I respect eveyones opinion.
susan
(suebele):)
I can't believe that of all the posts on this thread the one I chose to respond to was yours, Susan. What a coincidence. I had no idea that was you. I just gravitated to your post more naturally than any of the others. That speaks of something. And I am not talking about like-mindedness of this subject.
I have been thinking about this thread for a few days. I think I need to clarify something. I can't tell you how many times I have heard how strong I am, how people can't believe what a good attitude I have, and that they could never be so positive. So, I too, am a very happy person. I am happier than most. I love living. I even love the worst parts of living. But I am still very saddened by my situation. Not even for me. I am not afraid of death (and that has nothing to do with having faith or not) but more of the impact that it will have on my loved ones. My biggest fear is NEVER death, it's the pain that will ensue for my husband and children following it. It breaks MY heart that I will break theirs if I die. All the platitudes in the world about how they would be OK does not make me feel any better. Call it a bad attitude if you like or even lack of faith but I have never heard anyone say, "My [loved one] died of a bad outlook on life and no faith in God. Oh, and he/she had cancer too but that didn't have anything to do with it." My husband and children will never utter those words. He sees me smile and laugh every day and knows that I am a very happy woman. But I still feel what I feel and there is no "off" switch to them. I don't think anyone has a feelings switch whether they have had cancer or not.
And to respond about the post about not being able to ask because "they're not here"... I can't believe someone typed that. That was cruel. What if a former caregiver or child saw those words? Would anyone say, "Well, they just didn't have the right attitude. Let that be a lesson to you." I don't think so. There is nothing to gain by stating something like that even if the person that had passed was not what anyone would call "upbeat". Now, where's that damn feelings switch when I need it? After reading a post like that, I want to hit that lovely "off" button.0 -
TL: I loved this. Thank you.TammyLouBob said:The Jesus Stick can be offensive...comment by a Devout Christian
I am devout.
I was given to God in a cradle.
I, personally, am very cautious when talking about my own faith base.
I think people promote faith in God as some sort of shield from death.
The body dies. It is our destiny. To ashes we will return.
As Christians, I believe that the eternal life we are offered is not the physical life of this world...but, in the world to come.
Sometimes, people seem to think that people who die lose their lives because they lost their faith.
Judgemental, methinks.
It has my observation that people who are taking harsh chemotherapy treatments do not always walk with a spring in their step. They have dark days. They have "negative attitudes." Some of them question God.
Even Jesus on the cross cried out.
How very human.
Our Father knows his children. (The "principle" behind the footprints.)
He does not require us to dance in the streets when we are suffering.
It's not in my book anywhere.
Tammy Lou0 -
You're Welcome, Sweetie.
Sometimes, it can be a tough day on the cancer ward.
I know.
I think that God knows, too.
Love,
tl0 -
TammyLB, I am not aTammyLouBob said:You're Welcome, Sweetie.
Sometimes, it can be a tough day on the cancer ward.
I know.
I think that God knows, too.
Love,
tl
TammyLB, I am not a Christian but your writings make me see the beauty in it. Thanks. I work in a tough job where there are a lot of sad stories. In talking with an oncology nurse once we agreed that even if it is painful, we need, in both of our jobs, to keep our hearts active and even vulnerable. Somehow it helps me to think that when times are tough God doesn't want to have to cry alone. And the flip side? When things go well, it is nice to celebrate with God too! love, Joyce0 -
My heart goes out toJoycelouise said:TammyLB, I am not a
TammyLB, I am not a Christian but your writings make me see the beauty in it. Thanks. I work in a tough job where there are a lot of sad stories. In talking with an oncology nurse once we agreed that even if it is painful, we need, in both of our jobs, to keep our hearts active and even vulnerable. Somehow it helps me to think that when times are tough God doesn't want to have to cry alone. And the flip side? When things go well, it is nice to celebrate with God too! love, Joyce
My heart goes out to everyone with cancer ,and have small children. My children are adults now, but when they were small I would sometimes wonder what would happen to them if I were not around and I did not have cancer at that time . I think It's just a part of being a loving mother . It's alright to be angry, bitter and even sad sometimes it's a good thing to let people know that everyday is not Sunday. God Knows your heart.0
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