Just Married - Just Lymphoma

Phoenix Rise
Phoenix Rise Member Posts: 3
edited March 2014 in Caregivers #1
We were married on October 3, 2008. He was diagnosed with lymphoma on October 15, 2008 after an MRI for back pain. We have made it through three weeks of CHOP-R along with all of the appointments for testing, biopsy, pharmacy, blood transfusions etc. He is amazing and I find myself in total awe of his positive attitude, drive and determination which I too have had up until today. I however, fear I'm going to break. I am strong and positive in his presence and in front of all who call and visit. Inside it is a different story. Any advise?

Comments

  • zahalene
    zahalene Member Posts: 670
    #2
    Look for a soft place to fall.
    It could be here at csn, or a family member or trusted friend who can listen to whatever you need to vent about and keep it confidential, or even a professional counselor. Just find some place to un-load. You must take good care of yourself so you can take good care of him.
    God bless.
  • hunpot
    hunpot Member Posts: 90 Member
    #3
    Emotions are normal
    I remember feeling the same way always being strong around momma NEVER letting her see me falling apart. Try to talk to other family or good friends, you may think that you dont want to bother them but you are not I found that out. I never wanted to talk about it but when i did it made me feel better. Keep your strength and have Faith. I remember talking to the social worker at the oncolgy department they have support groups> that could be a good start to look.
    Best Wishes keep your chin up.
  • slickwilly
    slickwilly Member Posts: 334 Member
    #4
    hunpot said:

    Emotions are normal
    I remember feeling the same way always being strong around momma NEVER letting her see me falling apart. Try to talk to other family or good friends, you may think that you dont want to bother them but you are not I found that out. I never wanted to talk about it but when i did it made me feel better. Keep your strength and have Faith. I remember talking to the social worker at the oncolgy department they have support groups> that could be a good start to look.
    Best Wishes keep your chin up.

    phoenix rise
    As a NHL survivor of 5 years now and a caregiver for far too many friends who have had cancer I will offer the following. I found it was best to find someone outside the family to talk too. Both for you and your husband. As treatments, financial issues ect build its easier to have someone you can trust before and after the cancer to keep your talks confidential. On your husbands side of things most family members won't give him the needed kick in the butt when or if he gets depressed and wants to give up. They tend to nuture which is fine but there are times we need to be reminded that we are not just fighting for our own lives. When the treatments start to take their toll and there are pain issues we sometimes start thinking of ourselves too much.
    Taking time for yourself is a requirement as far too many caregivers burn out and your no good to anyone if you fall apart or get sick yourself. See a movie, take a walk, get your hair done and don't let anyone play the "she is just going on as normal game". I hope you have a friend or family member that understands you need time for yourself and will help if your husband needs someone around all the time. I was also through CHOP+R and had 25 radiation treatments. There can be a large amount of side effects that might last for years, or he might sail through it just fine. Remember everyone is different! Age, physical fitness and many other factors play into cancer treatment. But the fact that your husband has a good attitude and a will to beat cancer is huge. Keep giving him lots of support, love and those hugs that mean so much. And if you or your husband want to talk about anything in private please feel free to write me an e-mail at slickwilly007@msn.com

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