Scared

zenkitty
zenkitty Member Posts: 4
edited March 2014 in Ovarian Cancer #1
This is the first time I have posted here. I have had ovarian cancer for about a year and a half. It returned shortly after my first chemo. I am currently receiving more chemo. My last scan showed the new tumor had decreased significantly. I was very encouraged.

The last week, however, I have been experiencing pain in my right side. I am afraid the cancer is getting worse. I see my doctor Friday which is both a good thing and scary. I know my chances for survival are not good. I worry about how hard this is for my husband and two kids (both grown). I am trying to focus on living in the moment. I have been flunking that since this pain started. I guess I just needed someplace where I don't have to be strong and tough. Thanks for listening.

In peace, Hannah

Comments

  • BonnieR
    BonnieR Member Posts: 1,526 Member
    Hugs
    Hi Hannah,

    Sorry you have to be here, but so glad you found us. This is an amazing and diverse group of women. Some of us live with cancer ongoing(myself for almost 6years) and others have never recurred. I have abdominal pain, and have read from other posts that it is not uncommon and does not mean it is the cancer. We get adhesions that cause pain and then have the normal stuff going on too. So rest assured that with the ct scan results showing less disease, it is probably not cancer, but make sure you talk to your oncology team about it.

    Please continue to come here often and share your feelings, as you are right you do not need to be tough or strong here. Sending lots of prayers ♥ hugs your way. Bonnie
  • BonnieR
    BonnieR Member Posts: 1,526 Member
    BonnieR said:

    Hugs
    Hi Hannah,

    Sorry you have to be here, but so glad you found us. This is an amazing and diverse group of women. Some of us live with cancer ongoing(myself for almost 6years) and others have never recurred. I have abdominal pain, and have read from other posts that it is not uncommon and does not mean it is the cancer. We get adhesions that cause pain and then have the normal stuff going on too. So rest assured that with the ct scan results showing less disease, it is probably not cancer, but make sure you talk to your oncology team about it.

    Please continue to come here often and share your feelings, as you are right you do not need to be tough or strong here. Sending lots of prayers ♥ hugs your way. Bonnie

    PS
    Did you know if you had a remission of 1 1/2 years the first time, you will probably get great results from the chemo again. Just wanted add that little bit of encouragement. :-)
  • floridajo
    floridajo Member Posts: 480
    Hello and welcome!!
    Hi Zenkitty!!
    Welcome to the group,may I say I'm sorry to meet under these conditions,but i love this group and know you will too.
    As far as the pain,is the pain in the same area as the tumor?? I have heard that sometimes the pain we exp is the chemo killing the cancer,and I also know we have scar tissue as Bonnie exp. to you. I would, however, bring this up to my Onc and see what he thinks. One time I was having terrible pain around my belly button area,and then all the sudden a hard mass could be felt...I was scared senseless. It turned out to be a hernia which I had developed out of no where...and I had just had a ct scan 3 days earlier which showed nothing!!! So stay calm,it could be so many other things than cancer. I also know how hard that is to do..every little new pain I feel scares me to death. Welcome again~~Joanne
  • mopar
    mopar Member Posts: 1,972 Member
    HELLO, HANNAH
    Sorry you must deal with this disease like all of us. But so glad we have this forum to vent, share and support each other.

    I will definitely agree that adhesions, scar tissue, and so many other things can cause pain. I still get twinges here and there (after first dx in 2000 and recurrance in 2006) that set my mind rolling, but aren't really conclusive. So, stay strong and know that you are not alone. We will be waiting to hear what your doctor says, so keep us posted.

    Until then, I'll send prayers, luv and hugs!

    Monika
  • ladyjogger31
    ladyjogger31 Member Posts: 289
    Welcome
    Hi Hannah, Sorry that you have to even be on this site, but you have definitely come to the right place for support. The others have given you some great advice and I can only agree with them. That's good news that the tumor has decreased. I was diagnosed in Feb. of this year with stage 3C OVCA and had my 10th treatment this past Monday. I also have abdominal pains, some from adhesions and some from sluggish bowels. Take a moment to just take a deep breath and be grateful that you are living in the moment and alive. Each day is a blessing and I appreciate my family and I thank God for giving more time to be with them. Continue to come here for encouragement and hope. The women here are awesome and such warriors.
    Sending you Hugs and Prayers.
    Terry
  • Dreamdove
    Dreamdove Member Posts: 175 Member
    They want you to smile all the time but you can't
    Hannah, I know everybody wants you to be positive all the time, stay strong, etc. but you are human, too. I worry, too, sometimes. My cancer hasn't come back, that I know of. But deep down I feel it will probably get me in the end. I am just trying to deal with that idea without being too negative. But the main thing is that I am basically living a normal life, doing the things I always do. I even tried doing a couple of new things. After treatment was finished I even got a kitten. I had a cat already in my home but all the more pleasure and companionship to have another. My cats keep me going, as well as my 14-year old sassy daughter!
  • saundra
    saundra Member Posts: 1,370 Member
    Right Place
    Hannah, you are so welcome to come here to vent and ask questions like the rest of us. I, too, have strange pains in my abdomen and they come and go. Like the others say, just point them out to your oncologist. After the big surgery we have, we all get adhensions, gas, sluggish bowels, and on and on which are not cancer growing. Plus we all pay a lot more attention to those pains too. I think it is only natural that the question enters our minds with each twitch, don't you? Is the new tumor in your right side? I worry about my husband and three grown kids too. There is so much that we planned to do in retirement and now due to 20 chemo treatments, I am too weak to do some of them. Not fair to him either!!! Glad to listen, (((HUGS and PRAYERS))) Saundra
  • kayandok
    kayandok Member Posts: 1,202 Member
    Welcome zenkitty
    Dear Hannah,

    Welcome to the board none of us wanted to belong to. I can't add much to what all the lovely sisters have shared, but wanted to send support! There is a wealth of info and support on this board.

    It is so hard to "not worry" about pains, tumors, kids, our husbands the future..... etc etc when you have cancer. I find it difficult too although I journal, pray and have a lot of support... I noticed that many of the ladies do take antidepressants and was considering that for myself too. Then, this last week I started walking an hour a day everyday. I find that it has become easier to think positive and wonder if my serotonin levels have been boosted by the walking. I have heard that it can help.

    I love "zenkitty"! We are all cat lovers in our house and have a boarder, whose name is Zen.

    Hugs and peace to you today,
    Kathleen :)
    in Japan
  • Susan523
    Susan523 Member Posts: 231 Member
    I had a recurrence like you, too
    Hello Hannah,

    I also had a recurrence shortly after my first set of chemo treatments. I had 6 rounds of tacliplaxil, and the cancer came back about 8 months after my last treatment. I had just grown my hair back.

    Then I had a second set of treatments; this time IP Chemo/Cisplatin, and I am now in remission since April of this year.

    Don't give up. A recurrence doesn't mean the worse; you may just need a different type of chemo or treatment.

    Hang in there; and you have lots of support here from some neat ladies.

    ((Hugs))
    ~Susan xoxo
  • zenkitty
    zenkitty Member Posts: 4
    Thanks to Everyone
    Thanks to all of your for your caring and support. I am feeling less fear. I feel encouraged that the pain I am experiencing could be something other than the return of the cancer. My tumor had spread to almost everywhere in the abdominal cavity before it was diagnosed. I thought I had a kidney stone as there is a family history of that.

    I have been really lucky to have caring family and friends and a minister who is always willing to take time to answer "God questions". It feels really good to have found a place with such understanding and caring people here. I will keep you posted after my doctor appointment on Friday. Even if the pain turns out to be cancer it feels so good to know I can come here for support and understanding. Tuesday I am having a port put in which I am looking forward to and should make treatment easier. Thanks again, to all of you.

    In peace, Hannah
  • Dreamdove
    Dreamdove Member Posts: 175 Member
    kayandok said:

    Welcome zenkitty
    Dear Hannah,

    Welcome to the board none of us wanted to belong to. I can't add much to what all the lovely sisters have shared, but wanted to send support! There is a wealth of info and support on this board.

    It is so hard to "not worry" about pains, tumors, kids, our husbands the future..... etc etc when you have cancer. I find it difficult too although I journal, pray and have a lot of support... I noticed that many of the ladies do take antidepressants and was considering that for myself too. Then, this last week I started walking an hour a day everyday. I find that it has become easier to think positive and wonder if my serotonin levels have been boosted by the walking. I have heard that it can help.

    I love "zenkitty"! We are all cat lovers in our house and have a boarder, whose name is Zen.

    Hugs and peace to you today,
    Kathleen :)
    in Japan

    Walking really helps
    Kathleen, I walk all the time and it really helps your mental outlook to be out in the sunlight. I started it soon after my cancer surgery back in Jan. 2007. I always was a walker. But I live in a bitter cold climate for a large part of the year so in the winter I walk when I can, as much as I'd like to walk more. I did not ever take antidepressants but did take St. John's Wort. I still take it for anxiety and moods. It's not a miracle worker but it helped me sleep better and stopped the anxiety I got while driving around town. I stopped it a couple of times then started it up again because I could see how it helped me. I have never had side effects from it. And it's cheap--I get it at Wal-mart!

    Zenkitty, I imagine the cancer coming back, too, every time I have alittle pain in my abdominal area. It hasn't come back, that I know of, but I'm always relieved when it turns out to be constipation or gas or whatever.
  • brendamagally
    brendamagally Member Posts: 1
    zenkitty said:

    Thanks to Everyone
    Thanks to all of your for your caring and support. I am feeling less fear. I feel encouraged that the pain I am experiencing could be something other than the return of the cancer. My tumor had spread to almost everywhere in the abdominal cavity before it was diagnosed. I thought I had a kidney stone as there is a family history of that.

    I have been really lucky to have caring family and friends and a minister who is always willing to take time to answer "God questions". It feels really good to have found a place with such understanding and caring people here. I will keep you posted after my doctor appointment on Friday. Even if the pain turns out to be cancer it feels so good to know I can come here for support and understanding. Tuesday I am having a port put in which I am looking forward to and should make treatment easier. Thanks again, to all of you.

    In peace, Hannah

    hannah
    dont worry. It will all work out. If you are getting your port this will be really helpful and make things easier for you.
    As easy as that can be and sometimes that just means being able to take moment by moment when you are not feeling good.