ca 125

tdb1985
tdb1985 Member Posts: 35
edited March 2014 in Ovarian Cancer #1
Hey all!
God bless you all, and may he carry us all through the good and bad times.
I just called about my ca 125 and it went up, not much, from 139 to 181. I am trying not to get upset, but here I go. I know that that number is suppose to be just a poo poo number, dont take it too seriously, and God knows I try not to, but here I am with "poormeitus". I hate that my life hangs on numbers and tests. Yes, this is not pretty, I get so sick of it and dont want to be a burden on anybody. so I am trying to hold it in and not bother anyone, but i wonder if anyone out there has this sad, frustrating, agravating, time?
There, just had to get that off my chest.
Love you all,
Debbie
For the most part I am very positive

Comments

  • ladyjogger31
    ladyjogger31 Member Posts: 289
    #2
    I am so sorry that you are
    I am so sorry that you are having such a hard time. Something that has helped me through the tough times is keeping a journal. Every night I make myself sit down and write about my day and I always try to find one thing good about the day. I often find that once I start writing that the words just come and before I know it I have written a whole page of feelings that I didn't realize that I had. Rather than think of the future I try to take each day and live just for that day along with God's help and lots of prayers. Keep in contact and feel free to vent at any time.
    Sending you buckets of HUGS!
    Terry
  • carol2dogs
    carol2dogs Member Posts: 132
    #3
    CA125
    Debbie,
    Sorry you're having a hard time. My CA125 went up after my first chemo, when it was supposed to go down, by golly. It was highly discouraging, to say the least, so I understand that you are upset. After my third chemo, it went down, and it has been "behaving" ever since. I also understand that the waiting part is so very hard - waiting for that next CA125 result. Sometimes, just the "venting" helps a lot - I hope it has for you. It is hard to find someone outside of other cancer survivors who will just let you have a few moments of not being "strong and positive." You know you have that opportunity here.
    Sending hugs and love,
    Carol
  • tdb1985
    tdb1985 Member Posts: 35
    #4
    ladyjogger31 said:

    I am so sorry that you are
    I am so sorry that you are having such a hard time. Something that has helped me through the tough times is keeping a journal. Every night I make myself sit down and write about my day and I always try to find one thing good about the day. I often find that once I start writing that the words just come and before I know it I have written a whole page of feelings that I didn't realize that I had. Rather than think of the future I try to take each day and live just for that day along with God's help and lots of prayers. Keep in contact and feel free to vent at any time.
    Sending you buckets of HUGS!
    Terry

    Thank you
    Terry,
    Thank you so much. I will start a journal, I used to keep one when I started this bumpy road, and they are very helpful. Thank you for the hugs and most of all thank you for taking the time to help me. Today is much better, I have those melt downs every once in a while. I pray alot, but lately my prayer life has slowed down. Thanks again, God be with you and bless you everyday,
    Debbie
  • tdb1985
    tdb1985 Member Posts: 35
    #5
    carol2dogs said:

    CA125
    Debbie,
    Sorry you're having a hard time. My CA125 went up after my first chemo, when it was supposed to go down, by golly. It was highly discouraging, to say the least, so I understand that you are upset. After my third chemo, it went down, and it has been "behaving" ever since. I also understand that the waiting part is so very hard - waiting for that next CA125 result. Sometimes, just the "venting" helps a lot - I hope it has for you. It is hard to find someone outside of other cancer survivors who will just let you have a few moments of not being "strong and positive." You know you have that opportunity here.
    Sending hugs and love,
    Carol

    Thank you
    Carol,
    Thank you so much for the feedback. The venting is something I have a hard time with. I just dont want to be a burden to anybody. But knowing I can come here and that you all understand makes it easier. I am sorry that there has to be such an ugly thing that brings us together, but so thankful that there is a place to go. I always come here, this is the most positive and best place to go to if you have oc. My husband is very good at listening, but he was at work and I usually try not to bother him there. Again, thank you for the hugs and love, I am so blessed with my oc friends, hugs, love and prayers to you all,
    Debbie
  • saundra
    saundra Member Posts: 1,370 Member
    #6
    tdb1985 said:

    Thank you
    Carol,
    Thank you so much for the feedback. The venting is something I have a hard time with. I just dont want to be a burden to anybody. But knowing I can come here and that you all understand makes it easier. I am sorry that there has to be such an ugly thing that brings us together, but so thankful that there is a place to go. I always come here, this is the most positive and best place to go to if you have oc. My husband is very good at listening, but he was at work and I usually try not to bother him there. Again, thank you for the hugs and love, I am so blessed with my oc friends, hugs, love and prayers to you all,
    Debbie

    Similar Feelings
    Debbie, we all have those feelings and it sure feels good to vent, doesn't it? While I was at the cancer center this week confirming I was out of NED, I read a magazine on cancer with an article written by a female doctor with lymphoma. I copied a couple of her quotes because besides the Bible, quotes get me through the tough times. I'll share these new ones with all. "Cancer doesn't make life uncertain; it simply exposed the uncertainty of life." "Worrying today about recurrance tomorrow is a total waste of my time and energy." Wendy Harpham, M.D. These seemed to be worth writing down and using on one of those blue days just to get through that day. (((HUGS))) Saundra
  • kris43
    kris43 Member Posts: 275
    #7
    tdb1985 said:

    Thank you
    Carol,
    Thank you so much for the feedback. The venting is something I have a hard time with. I just dont want to be a burden to anybody. But knowing I can come here and that you all understand makes it easier. I am sorry that there has to be such an ugly thing that brings us together, but so thankful that there is a place to go. I always come here, this is the most positive and best place to go to if you have oc. My husband is very good at listening, but he was at work and I usually try not to bother him there. Again, thank you for the hugs and love, I am so blessed with my oc friends, hugs, love and prayers to you all,
    Debbie

    holding it in
    Debbie - I am going to advocate not holding so much in. People want to help - they really do and they will listen if you ask. I am the absolute worst when it comes to saying I need assistance with anything and consequently in my 9th month of remission I am suffering from depression that is pretty intense. It started really getting out of control in June but I thought I could handle it - get past the "anniversary" of diagnosis, first chemo, etc, etc - and I hated the thought of having people worrying about me still - after this long. I thought I could "buck up" and be positive and it would work out. Well I found a counselor and just started on the anti-depressant for the first time in my life. It is freaking me out - but I need to do something. Fear of the unknown had taken over.

    I'm so glad you can come hear and vent and still get positive feedback - it's the best! This site has been my lifesaver.

    Keep posting and I wish you a week of good things.
    Kris
  • groundeffect
    groundeffect Member Posts: 639 Member
    #8
    Support Group
    Hi Debbie,

    This board is a wonderful place to discuss many things, but I find satisfaction of sitting down face-to-face with other ovarian cancer survivors. I joined our local group just when I was getting through chemo, and enjoy the time I spend with these women. I recommend you find out if there's an OVCA support group in your area, and go meet with them. We all call when we think someone needs it, and laugh at our meetings. This is a heavy burden for you and your loved ones, and it may help to spread it around a bit - who knows better than another survivor?
  • BonnieR
    BonnieR Member Posts: 1,526 Member
    #9
    Hugs and Tears
    Hi Debbie, I am so glad you came to share and get things off your chest. We all need to do that at times. The numbers are frustrating, I say I have a good cry to cleanse the soul and get on with living. I also have at least one person I can call and cry with or what ever I need to do. And then you Always have us here. Hugs N Prayers Bonnie
  • umaof6
    umaof6 Member Posts: 25
    #10
    support group
    I agree with groundeffect. Find a good cancer support group. I live in a very small town so therefore, there aren't many support groups here. I attend one that was started by breast cancer suvivors. The first meeting I attended, I bawled the entire time. We meet once a month and have "potluck" dinner and then discuss how things are going in our lives. I am NED at the moment. I have made my first year anniversary of diagnosis, first year anniversary of Chemo. I found myself down in the dumps for a few weeks. I find at the meetings I attend, I am normal. All of the suvivors in my group have the same ups and downs. Not to ramble on, find a support group, and vent, cry, whatever you need to do to cleanse you soul. hugs and prayers to you. Carol
  • tdb1985
    tdb1985 Member Posts: 35
    #11
    saundra said:

    Similar Feelings
    Debbie, we all have those feelings and it sure feels good to vent, doesn't it? While I was at the cancer center this week confirming I was out of NED, I read a magazine on cancer with an article written by a female doctor with lymphoma. I copied a couple of her quotes because besides the Bible, quotes get me through the tough times. I'll share these new ones with all. "Cancer doesn't make life uncertain; it simply exposed the uncertainty of life." "Worrying today about recurrance tomorrow is a total waste of my time and energy." Wendy Harpham, M.D. These seemed to be worth writing down and using on one of those blue days just to get through that day. (((HUGS))) Saundra

    ca
    Dear Saundra,
    Thank you for your uplifting note. I love the quotes, I think I will put them on my poster and in my appointment book. They are very strong and encouraging!
    Thank God for your NED! I had to look that up, I didnt know what NED stood for and I found "No Evidence of Disease." That is so encouraging.
    Once again, God be with you and (((HUGS))) right back at you!
    Debbie
  • tdb1985
    tdb1985 Member Posts: 35
    #12
    kris43 said:

    holding it in
    Debbie - I am going to advocate not holding so much in. People want to help - they really do and they will listen if you ask. I am the absolute worst when it comes to saying I need assistance with anything and consequently in my 9th month of remission I am suffering from depression that is pretty intense. It started really getting out of control in June but I thought I could handle it - get past the "anniversary" of diagnosis, first chemo, etc, etc - and I hated the thought of having people worrying about me still - after this long. I thought I could "buck up" and be positive and it would work out. Well I found a counselor and just started on the anti-depressant for the first time in my life. It is freaking me out - but I need to do something. Fear of the unknown had taken over.

    I'm so glad you can come hear and vent and still get positive feedback - it's the best! This site has been my lifesaver.

    Keep posting and I wish you a week of good things.
    Kris

    ca
    Kris,
    Great to hear about 9 mos of remission! Thank God!
    I have been on an antidepressant since almost the beginning of the oc journey. The ono gave me effexor for hot flashes, I was not through menepause and the surgery threw me into it, he said the effexor would take care of the hot flashes. They use effexor for hot flashes on women that have problems with cancer. So it probably helps me through more than I know.
    I'm like you that I dont want to bother others, for one thing, I live in a rural area where there are not many with oc. and sometimes I think you want to relate to those with oc. They really do get it.
    Thenk you so much for your help, it is so comforting to me. (((HUGS)))
    God bless you,
    Debbie
  • tdb1985
    tdb1985 Member Posts: 35
    #13
    groundeffect said:

    Support Group
    Hi Debbie,

    This board is a wonderful place to discuss many things, but I find satisfaction of sitting down face-to-face with other ovarian cancer survivors. I joined our local group just when I was getting through chemo, and enjoy the time I spend with these women. I recommend you find out if there's an OVCA support group in your area, and go meet with them. We all call when we think someone needs it, and laugh at our meetings. This is a heavy burden for you and your loved ones, and it may help to spread it around a bit - who knows better than another survivor?

    ca
    Groundeffect,
    There is a ovca group that started not long after I was diagnosed, but it is about an hour to 2 hr drive from here. I may check and see if one has started that would be closer or go to the breast cancer group. I do think that would be very helpful. Thank you, I really had not thought of that for quite sometime.
    Thank you again and God bless you and your family,
    Debbie
  • tdb1985
    tdb1985 Member Posts: 35
    #14
    BonnieR said:

    Hugs and Tears
    Hi Debbie, I am so glad you came to share and get things off your chest. We all need to do that at times. The numbers are frustrating, I say I have a good cry to cleanse the soul and get on with living. I also have at least one person I can call and cry with or what ever I need to do. And then you Always have us here. Hugs N Prayers Bonnie

    ca
    Bonnie,
    Thank you also, you are an inspiration! I've seen you on here since I started. I think that our diagnosis is very similar. I am in Gemzar 2 weeks on 1 week off. Its in my omentum right now. Before that was in my head. My hair is coming back, last time it was straight and brown, now its straight and platnum blonde! Isn't that a hoot?
    I have a great faith in God ,pray often and go to church and bible study, when I have the energy.
    God bless you Bonnie and you and all these beautiful people,
    Debbie
  • tdb1985
    tdb1985 Member Posts: 35
    #15
    umaof6 said:

    support group
    I agree with groundeffect. Find a good cancer support group. I live in a very small town so therefore, there aren't many support groups here. I attend one that was started by breast cancer suvivors. The first meeting I attended, I bawled the entire time. We meet once a month and have "potluck" dinner and then discuss how things are going in our lives. I am NED at the moment. I have made my first year anniversary of diagnosis, first year anniversary of Chemo. I found myself down in the dumps for a few weeks. I find at the meetings I attend, I am normal. All of the suvivors in my group have the same ups and downs. Not to ramble on, find a support group, and vent, cry, whatever you need to do to cleanse you soul. hugs and prayers to you. Carol

    ca
    Carol,
    Thank you for your response. I really am going to find a cancer support group. Praise the Lord for your NED! Sometimes when I find myself going down like that, I call my brother, he is so funny and before I know it, I forget what I've called him for! But he was at work and it really wasnt a good time to call. Besides, I probably should go to a support group, it seems many recommend it here and you all know !
    Thanks so much, God bless you and all,
    Debbie

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