tomorrow is the day

your mom's appt tomorrow
I will be praying for you tomorrow! That was a good compromise, feeling her out on the possibilities. I am sure you will sleep a bit better tonight. Mary

Thinking of you
Hi,
Just to let you know that you are both in my thoughts and prayers. Hugs to you, Audrey

krystiesq said:

Update
Ok, we went to the treatment visit today and the game plan is to get a pet scan next monday. Onc isn't adding anything yet to her drug regimen until we know what is going on. She was upset about the rising cea, as was expected. However, she wasn't as upset as I thougth she would be, but she still cried. It kills me to see her cry. I know the whirlwind of thoughts I had when I got the results and I have my brain wrapped around it, all I can hope is that she gets focused quickly and I'll be there reminding her she is still here and has a lot more fighting power left.

She has been talking a lot about her diet and has decided to be more focused on avoiding sugar, juicing every day and taking supplements which I am reading up on as much as possible. We are going to fight this beast from every angle not just with chemical warfare. I am anxious for the pet results in a bad and in a good way. At least we will know what is going on inside, on the other hand I hope the results are not too bad.

Thank you all so much for your prayers and continued support. I'll be on my knees until we get the results of the pet scan.

I hope all of you are having a wonderful day and your lives have not been impacted by the hurricane.

peace

your mother's appt
I am glad to hear she is going in for some scans to see if there is any evidence of what may be causing the rising CEA. In the upcoming week she will have time to adjust and refocus her attention on the fight; she just needs a little bit of time to absorb the new information. You both will be strong enough for this, and i will continue to pray that this is so. Mary

krystiesq said:

Thank you
Mary, you're awesome. Thank you for your responses. It helps to know that someone is listening. Also, I think the fact that it is with a tinge of anonymity that I type this. It is hard to talk to people who aren't going through, or that don't have a family member dealing with this or even to run into old friends/acquaintences. They always want to know all the details. Here you can type without being asked questions and offer what you need advice on...thank god for this place & all the wonderful people.

people who haven't walked where we walk
Kristi, you are so right. That is why survivor's groups work so well! Our loved ones want to understand, they just (thank GOD) don't have enough perspective! In fact, I have a caring bridge site that allows me to blog my situation so my family and friends can at least read a bit more detail than I ever have the strength to speak about on the phone during treatments! Luckily I am currently only doing Avastin, so not much to report. My info page has the link if you are interested. CaringBridge is an outstanding organization for keeping your loved ones in the loop. I read an article about it. They say it's good not only for people who are dying, which I have a nephew who connects it with death, but even for warriors deployed and people trying to adopt! Take care and God be with you. Mary

apache4 said:

Our families
You are so right, Mary. No one can understand what we go through. My daughter is always so supportive of my decisions, but I know she is putting on a strong face for me. She is 41 with a PhD. in Microbiology so has more "knowledge" then most. When I told her about stopping treatment because of the debillating side effects, she said that she was upset, but that she felt she was being "selfish" as she just wanted me to be around as long as possible. My son is supportive, wants to hear the latest, but is not overly emotional in front of me. He is most troubled by suffering and just the other day said that he wishes my inflammed thumb would just get better. I hate that I am putting them through this difficult situation and it is the thing I am most upset about. Friends, also, get so upset and I think that it is the thought of loss. I know that is how I felt with friends that have been diagnosed in the past.

be around as long as possible
You reminded me of something one of my sisters said to me during a conversation. Apparently someone at her work had a relative that had been diagnosed with CC and had been told they had 2 years to live (2 years? did he get out his slide rule and do some calculations or something?) and she was wondering if I had been told the same thing and just wasn't saying anything to the family. I told her i wouldn't listen to such a prognosis from my onc and he wouldn't consider trying to give me one; he has spoken with me for more than 2 seconds and I don't hide my feelings! This guy's cancer had spread to his liver as well and she spits out "it wouldn't be bad if yours spread to your liver cause I can give you some of mine and we would both be ok". Well, while that certainly was a grand offer, I was recovering from surgery for my last recurrence and DIDN'T WANT TO HAVE TO THINK ABOUT POSSIBLY GOING IN FOR ANOTHER ONE! As far as she's concerned, she wants me around and is wanting the earth to move to ensure I do! I gently reminded her that I certainly wasn't going to give up and certainly don't expect to have to make such a decision any time soon, but if the decision did come, I will always be weighing quantity against quality and not necessarily going to choose quantity over quality. I certainly understand their fear and desire to have me around, I don't really think they completely understand the "under all costs" aspect of that idea, and thank God they don't! One day at a time, we will continue to fight. Mary