Does Anyone Else Hate their Surgeon???

Cactusgal
Cactusgal Member Posts: 3
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
I know "hate" is a strong word, but I have good reason. First, she was recommended by my gyn doc, so I went with her. From the very first, she has been like an Army Sargeant with little compassion or regard for me as a person. At first I thought she was just being professional, but I now think she has done SO MANY mastectomies that she doesn't care about people anymore.
She denies vehemently that ANY nerves were cut, not even small ones. Also, that I don't need to go to PT even though I have a strong cord in my arm pulling. She never bothered to see my family after the surgery. She just left the hospital. She never bothered to give me any exercises to do or tell me about the wonderful cancer center right in the hospital for mastectomy patients that would give me a prosthesis. The drain was not taken out until 3 weeks after the surgery. Every question I ask is met with an "I already told you that" response.

I am an educated person and do alot of reading. She treats me like a child and I feel like a little child around her. Because I need her services I have tried to be nice, but am wondering if I can fire her and find another doctor for follow up visits? Would another surgeon see me, even though they didn't do the mastectomy?

Any advice is appreciated.

Comments

  • Joycelouise
    Joycelouise Member Posts: 482
    #2
    I fired my first onc. and
    I fired my first onc. and got a better one. I don't think you will have to see your surgeon too many more times and may have to stay with her for the follow up. But here is something that may help. I read a book by a doctor who said that patients who get fiesty, angry even, at the care they are or are not getting fare better than those who are always polite and accepting. So rant and rave! And shop carefully for the rest of your care team. I went to one reconstruction surgeon, didn't like him, and went and saw his partner in the office instead, with my head held high!
    Sounds like your surgeon was indeed a lemon. Dismissive answers are sure hard to swallow. Not only is it bad medicine, but also it pushes out what should be there...good medicine, good feelings to help us through a hard time.
    Best wishes, love,Joyce
  • dakotaseas
    dakotaseas Member Posts: 1
    #3
    yes I too was fooled in
    yes I too was fooled in thinking my surgion was good, not so .3mons later 2 surgeries later and still healing I wish I could turn back time and take time to find some one that cared .
  • kit45
    kit45 Member Posts: 89
    #4
    I Can Relate
    I had a surgeon who had NO bedside manner and I found out from others who know her a few weeks after my surgery that she has a military background. After my surgery she spoke but few words to my family and wanted to kick me out of the hospital not even 11 hours post mastectomy. I spoke up to her though and did not end up being discharged. Any questions I had were answered very "matter of fact" and with no compassion. I can relate to alot of what you expressed. I received no referrals to cancer centers, physical therapy or follow-up exercises from this surgeon.
    On the positive side my surgery was successful and I only need to have one more follow-up with my surgeon. I was told to think of this surgeon as one who remains focused solely on getting the job done successfully and with expertise and does not let emotions/compassion be involved. Unfortunately, being diagnosed with cancer I needed compassion.

    I discovered I am my best advocate and that is my recommendation to you. I believe you should have few visits left w/your surgeon. Ask your oncologist for any referrals. Mine referred me to physical therapy and provided lists of support groups and cancer centers. I went into this knowing "nothing" and have learned so much and believe me not from my surgeon. Hopefully, you are on the road to recovery and will have no need for a surgeon. And yes, if you need another I would ask your oncologist for recommendations in your area. This site has been a wonderful resource for me and you will receive many recommendations here as well as the much needed compassion. Keep us posted. Kit
  • ohilly
    ohilly Member Posts: 441
    #5
    kit45 said:

    I Can Relate
    I had a surgeon who had NO bedside manner and I found out from others who know her a few weeks after my surgery that she has a military background. After my surgery she spoke but few words to my family and wanted to kick me out of the hospital not even 11 hours post mastectomy. I spoke up to her though and did not end up being discharged. Any questions I had were answered very "matter of fact" and with no compassion. I can relate to alot of what you expressed. I received no referrals to cancer centers, physical therapy or follow-up exercises from this surgeon.
    On the positive side my surgery was successful and I only need to have one more follow-up with my surgeon. I was told to think of this surgeon as one who remains focused solely on getting the job done successfully and with expertise and does not let emotions/compassion be involved. Unfortunately, being diagnosed with cancer I needed compassion.

    I discovered I am my best advocate and that is my recommendation to you. I believe you should have few visits left w/your surgeon. Ask your oncologist for any referrals. Mine referred me to physical therapy and provided lists of support groups and cancer centers. I went into this knowing "nothing" and have learned so much and believe me not from my surgeon. Hopefully, you are on the road to recovery and will have no need for a surgeon. And yes, if you need another I would ask your oncologist for recommendations in your area. This site has been a wonderful resource for me and you will receive many recommendations here as well as the much needed compassion. Keep us posted. Kit

    hating your surgeon
    I can relate. I hate my plastic surgeon: although technically he did a superior job with the reconstruction, I had to battle for him to see me AT ALL after the surgery. He wanted his Physician's Assistant to take care of everything, to the point that it was almost malpractice (I had accidentally snapped one of my drains out by accident, and the Physicians' Assistant kept on draining it - finally after I insisted on talking to the surgeon himself, he agreed to reattach it surgically, which would never have happened and would have delayed my chemo - it's a long story why - had I not spoken directly to the surgeon). Now I have to have a preventive mastectomy on the other breast, and unfortunately, will have to use the same plastic surgeon because one surgeon does not want to start over when another surgeon has already worked on you, plus I want the reconstructed breasts to look the same. Once I had an appointment with this plastic surgeon: not only did he not show up after I waited for at least a half hour, but he wouldn't even stamp my parking ticket!

    I am sorry you have to go through this, but know that you are not alone and that not all doctors are like this. Ohilly
  • suzanne56
    suzanne56 Member Posts: 18
    #6
    Hate the doctor?
    I was lucky. My daughter-in-law had worked in a hospital around where I lived for a long time. When I found out I had breast cancer, she's the one I called. I had an excellent surgeon and cancer doctors. Don't be afraid to check out other doctors, ask other people or just plain be aggressive with the one you have. You can find another doctor. It's your body, make them listen and respond. Ask questions and demand answers, even if you've ask them before. I found that you have to control the situation as much as the doctor. Fight for what you need.
  • Eil4186
    Eil4186 Member Posts: 949
    #7
    You deserve better
    Hi, I am so sorry that you are being treated so poorly by your surgeon. I was lucky-my surgeon is a sweetheart. In that first month between diagnosis, surgery and chemo, he was my rock. I was a wreck before and after surgery and everytime I saw him for a follow-up, I asked him questions, voiced my fears, and he always made me feel much better about everything. He is very empathetic, patient and caring. He called me on the phone as soon as he received any path report so that I didn't have to wait, spent time visiting after the surgery to make sure I was ok emotionally. I just love the guy! I have seen him every few months for the last 2 1/2 years and soon I will see him only once yearly until the 5 year mark. After that I guess I won't need to have anymore follow-ups and I know this is silly but I will be sad. I guess he is one of my security blankets along with my other 2 cancer doctors who are equally wonderful. I wish that you too could have such kind doctors. Perhaps you should get your feelings off your chesr. Tell her exactly how her behavior makes you feel. You deserve so much better. You deserve a compassionate doctor. Good luck, Eileen

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