In the dark

SMILES1001
SMILES1001 Member Posts: 23
edited March 2014 in Ovarian Cancer #1
hello, im new to this site ive been doing a lil searching on this subject since my sister has been diagnosed with ovarian cancer stag 3c. Now here is where the darkness comes my sister is my twin identical and no one knows that she has this she hasnt told anyone not even me. how i know well lets just say i found some papers that i shouldnt have found. my sister went to hospital in april and had a emergency surgery for a biopsy. i guess thats when she was diagnosed she told everyone that she wasnt feeling good. now the surgery lasted a day kinda of strange but she was sent home the same day she called telling me pick her up from hospital and that was that noone even knew she went now question # 1 is what surgery can u take and they discharge u sameday?

to continue on to surgery # 2 now my sister has been very sick, vomitting and always saying she doesnt feel good i call her job they tell me she has not been in so i ask her whats going on so she confesses she has ovarian cancer stage 3c but thats it she refused to go any further in detail. on JULY 16, 2008 she was admitted in hospital for a complete hysterectomy she got on July 21, 2008. Now my parents were under the idea that were removing some tumors on ovaries the doctors were so secretive and it made me kinda of sick so sick that i felt like i needed surgery.. my sister must have told them keep a tight lip when her family comes.
Question # 2 what is the purpose of a hysterectomy is it the same as debulking surgery?

and lastly on August 20, 2008 my sister went to er for pain in her stomach and they kept her and did an emergency surgery when i get there the doctor tells me nothing. My sister tells me nothing. I want to know what surgery could she have had that was emergency but she was released on August 22, 2008. now my guess is whatever surgeries she is having its not that serious because she is discharged so early.

thanks guys for being a good ear im so in the dark please help my pain with any type of clue as what u might think is going on and to top it off her husband is having an affair and knows the whole story why is she confiding in a man who clearly doesnt care? im so weak i feel horrible she wont tell me nothing and i swore to keep my knowledge a secret from my parents but i dont think i can handle it any longer please help...

Comments

  • mopar
    mopar Member Posts: 1,972 Member
    #2
    IN THE DARK
    I'm so sorry to hear you are 'secretly' dealing with all of this. More importantly, that your sister doesn't feel she can confide in anyone. Some of us sometimes want to be strong, independent, and deal with things on our own. But this is major, and is a time when family and friends are extremely important to our care and survival.

    I can only guess that the times your sister was discharged in a day, maybe the surgery was minimal (cyst removal, etc.). Or maybe she requested to leave sooner than recommended. Either way, there are too many variables here to really say what's going on and where your sister is at at this point in time.

    I would really try to speak to your sister in confidence - at least let her know that she needs to have someone beside her through all of this. I sometimes keep information to myself too, but only to wait until I have all the details, so as not to worry anyone needlessly, and to better prepare them for what's ahead. Nonetheless, it sounds like it's time your sister open up to someone - I hope it's you. Being her twin, let alone her sister, I'm sure you want to help. She also needs to know that this is not a hopeless situation. Direct her to this site, and have her browse all the stories of hope and encouragement here. And even if she won't give you all the details, there are plenty of us here who can lend an ear, a shoulder, and lots of help. That goes for you, too - visit us anytime.

    Please let us know what happens and how things are going. Until then, I send lots of hugs and prayers that you may find peace and strength in all of this.

    (((HUGS)))
    Monika
  • SMILES1001
    SMILES1001 Member Posts: 23
    #3
    mopar said:

    IN THE DARK
    I'm so sorry to hear you are 'secretly' dealing with all of this. More importantly, that your sister doesn't feel she can confide in anyone. Some of us sometimes want to be strong, independent, and deal with things on our own. But this is major, and is a time when family and friends are extremely important to our care and survival.

    I can only guess that the times your sister was discharged in a day, maybe the surgery was minimal (cyst removal, etc.). Or maybe she requested to leave sooner than recommended. Either way, there are too many variables here to really say what's going on and where your sister is at at this point in time.

    I would really try to speak to your sister in confidence - at least let her know that she needs to have someone beside her through all of this. I sometimes keep information to myself too, but only to wait until I have all the details, so as not to worry anyone needlessly, and to better prepare them for what's ahead. Nonetheless, it sounds like it's time your sister open up to someone - I hope it's you. Being her twin, let alone her sister, I'm sure you want to help. She also needs to know that this is not a hopeless situation. Direct her to this site, and have her browse all the stories of hope and encouragement here. And even if she won't give you all the details, there are plenty of us here who can lend an ear, a shoulder, and lots of help. That goes for you, too - visit us anytime.

    Please let us know what happens and how things are going. Until then, I send lots of hugs and prayers that you may find peace and strength in all of this.

    (((HUGS)))
    Monika

    IN the Dark
    wow thanks that was a fast responce, i really appreciate it. but i try everyday i just called her just now and she sounds pretty good she even said she wanted to come over to the cook out for the holidays... Im so confused. I guess Cancer has its good days and bad days!

    Thanks again and you and everyone else fighting this battle is in my prayers hopefully she will open up to me oneday...... soon
  • mopar
    mopar Member Posts: 1,972 Member
    #4
    SMILES1001 said:

    IN the Dark
    wow thanks that was a fast responce, i really appreciate it. but i try everyday i just called her just now and she sounds pretty good she even said she wanted to come over to the cook out for the holidays... Im so confused. I guess Cancer has its good days and bad days!

    Thanks again and you and everyone else fighting this battle is in my prayers hopefully she will open up to me oneday...... soon

    IN THE DARK
    Well, that sure sounds encouraging! I hope that all of you have a wonderful weekend.

    I also wanted to mention that maybe things are not as they appear. So, keep the faith, and hope, and hang in there!

    (((HUGS)))
    Monika
  • saundra
    saundra Member Posts: 1,370 Member
    #5
    In the dark
    Sometimes cancer runs in families so just because you are her twin is enough for her to be honest with you. You might need to have a CA-125 blood test. My daughter and grand daughters will have one annually just because I have OVCA. I feel compelled to keep them informed every step of the way to keep then educated and maybe even save their lives with an earlier diagnosis than I had.

    Not knowing is the worse torture for me and I experienced it with my brother during his fight and death with throat cancer a couple of years ago. So, I know how you are feeling.

    There is no way of knowing what the surgeries were. Could have been only chemo treatments given in the hospital unless you saw the incisions. She will have to tell you the truth. We would all just be guessing at the answers. I would frankly tell her that she could actually save your life by being frank so that you could have some blood work done. Also you would be there for her support which we all need. Note that my brother refused to answer or accept my help until the very end and minimal at that time. He chose a male cousin to handle the end of life decisions. It hurt but it was his choice and the way this ole cowboy wanted to handle it.

    Keep us posted. ((Hugs and prayers)) Saundra

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