3rd time is the charm

Hello Sisters,
It has been many months since I have been on due to both the chat being down and myself being down. Last week I had my 3rd reconstruction due to complications with the other 2. They ended up taking both breast reconstructions out, fixing where I was producing fluid and replacing all. I'm more sore this time due to being irritated inside on both breast but I feel this is really the charm. I'm very pleased with the look and they repositioned where my nipples will be. My white cell count is still off even though I finished chemo June of 2007. My liver counts are still up but they are monitoring that and took a biopsy last year/negative. I'm cancer free and the sky is blue...hooray. I have been reading all the post but had been in such a funk that I just was in hibernation for a bit. I'm still working with all my physical, mental, and emotional changes with post chemo, arimidex, and my other drugs. As I have always said that this really is a roller coaster ride and many days you are really great but then sometimes you just have to sit on the "pitypot" for a bit. I'm blessed that my husband understands this and he as well as close friends monitor my "time" then kick the pot out from under me. If any of the sisters find that they are on the down swing of the roller coaster, keep the faith and there will be an upswing. There is no magic pill that will make what we have had to endure fade but time does make the coping better. In addition, the more you give of yourself by encouraging others, listening, writing, and just giving hugs, the stronger you become. It is important to remember that you can give a lot of yourself but be sure to take some time to "rebuild" your emotional strength so your reserve isn't totally drained. That is what happened to me and a good lesson to learn. It is so easy to help others because it is hard work dealing with one's self. Each of us has a story both tragic but also we have all discovered the strength of the "sisterhood". If you think of all the "life's lessons" we have learned both good and bad that we have all grown in an amazing strong way. Yes, sometimes I feel like I am just weak but I think of my survivorship and "I am one strong bird". Each of you come with a gift. Sometimes your gift to me is opening yourself and asking questions, letting us feel your fear and sadness. This gift allows us to share our strength with you because one day, it will be returned when we share on a "down day". I pray that each of you remember that this "sisterhood" is amazing and yes we all have a story or two both of horror but also of love and support and success. I feel blessed that I have each of you here. You have touched my soul. Angela