prayer

JanQ
JanQ Member Posts: 236
edited March 2014 in Ovarian Cancer #1
Hi ladies, I just need your prayers. I am sitting here at work in tears and I hate to get like this. I had a transfusion yesterday a 11 hour process which I really don't understand why it has to take that long. I go to the doctor tomorrow for exam and CA 125. I will start 5 days of chemo on Monday. Do any of you have bad dreams? I don't know why but it seem like on this chemo I have terrible dreams and they are so life like. I am tired like I know we all get so I just need your prayers to get through today cause I am ready to quit and I can't do that to my family right now. I know I will feel better tomorrow, but today I really need your prayers and pray for my family.

Love, Jan

Comments

  • mopar
    mopar Member Posts: 1,972 Member
    #2
    Dearest Jan:
    I know the feelings of despair, fear, anxiety - most of us do at least one time or another during this ordeal. I can only tell you that this, along with the horrid nightmares and all the other issues, are the unfortunate side affects of what we must go through to regain our health. It is temporary, and knowing that helped me get through my situation. And so I literally took one MOMENT at a time, not just one day at a time. I was in constant prayer, which simply means I talked to God all the time, opening my heart and telling Him everything. I did this at work, home, the grocery store, everywhere. It became a huge release for me. Although it didn't take everything away immediately, just saying it (even though only in my thoughts) enabled me to calm down and move on. I really didn't say much to my family, because I didn't want to burden them. They could see my distress without me having to say a word, and were there for me. But having this 'personal communion' with someone who understood all, knew all, and IS all gave me a sense of relief and hope.

    I will surely pray for you AND your family - today and everyday. I'll pray you also find physical strength, peace and hope - everything you need to endure these moments.

    Luv & Hugs,
    Monika

    'For He has not given us a spirit of fear, but of POWER, LOVE and a SOUND MIND'
  • saundra
    saundra Member Posts: 1,370 Member
    #3
    Isaiah 40:29 "He strengthens those who are weak and tired." Jan, I think Monika said it all for me and so eloquently that I will only add my prayers for you. (((Hugs))) Saundra
  • JanQ
    JanQ Member Posts: 236
    #4
    mopar said:

    Dearest Jan:
    I know the feelings of despair, fear, anxiety - most of us do at least one time or another during this ordeal. I can only tell you that this, along with the horrid nightmares and all the other issues, are the unfortunate side affects of what we must go through to regain our health. It is temporary, and knowing that helped me get through my situation. And so I literally took one MOMENT at a time, not just one day at a time. I was in constant prayer, which simply means I talked to God all the time, opening my heart and telling Him everything. I did this at work, home, the grocery store, everywhere. It became a huge release for me. Although it didn't take everything away immediately, just saying it (even though only in my thoughts) enabled me to calm down and move on. I really didn't say much to my family, because I didn't want to burden them. They could see my distress without me having to say a word, and were there for me. But having this 'personal communion' with someone who understood all, knew all, and IS all gave me a sense of relief and hope.

    I will surely pray for you AND your family - today and everyday. I'll pray you also find physical strength, peace and hope - everything you need to endure these moments.

    Luv & Hugs,
    Monika

    'For He has not given us a spirit of fear, but of POWER, LOVE and a SOUND MIND'

    I love you all and yes Monika, you spoke the truth. I need to print this as a reminder and hang it in my office, home ect. I went to the doctor today and I will get my ca 125 numbers in the morning.
    I was also wondering if the steroids I get with the chemo could be causing some of the mood swings since I take it more often.
    I hate to depend on anti-depressants but I was on Effexor and I have just gone on Wellbutrin, that may be part of it too.
    I know one thing I am going to Lakeland Florida Friday June 13th, to an awesome revival that is going on, I believe that will do me more good than anything, I defenitly need a renewing of my spirit! I love the Lord and I know he is faithful!
    Thank you all so very much! I will let you know my ca-125 tomorrow.

    Love and Hugs, Jan
  • ladyjogger31
    ladyjogger31 Member Posts: 289
    #5
    Sending you lots of prayers your way.
    Terry
  • BonnieR
    BonnieR Member Posts: 1,526 Member
    #6
    Dear Jan,

    I have had several transfusions and they just take that long. Slow is good I think. And tears are good too ~ TEARS are stress relievers or that is how I see it. I tell myself they cleanse the soul so I can get back to living life.

    The dreams sometimes are caused from medications. Ask your Dr about it, here a few I heard from other women, Ambiem, Codiene, Vicodin and I think a couple other sleeping medications.

    Now sending lots of prayers your for peace, good test results and a kick cancer's butt chemo.

    Hugs N Prayers Bonnie
  • JanQ
    JanQ Member Posts: 236
    #7
    BonnieR said:

    Dear Jan,

    I have had several transfusions and they just take that long. Slow is good I think. And tears are good too ~ TEARS are stress relievers or that is how I see it. I tell myself they cleanse the soul so I can get back to living life.

    The dreams sometimes are caused from medications. Ask your Dr about it, here a few I heard from other women, Ambiem, Codiene, Vicodin and I think a couple other sleeping medications.

    Now sending lots of prayers your for peace, good test results and a kick cancer's butt chemo.

    Hugs N Prayers Bonnie

    update
    Well, I will continue to praise the Lord my God.
    Lisa, my nurse called this morning and I was on line up loading pictures, saw her call on
    call wave. I called her back on my cell phone and it was kind of breaking up. I heard 72 which meant my ca 125 would have gone from 122 down to 72 so my immediate reponse was Praise God! Lisa said Jan I said 172.2 which means it went up 50 points but I am still going to praise the Lord, because God is love he is not cancer, this is not his will. At some point I will realize this journey.
    I can't wait till the revival in Florida, we leave Friday and will be coming back Monday.
    Again I just love each of you and appreciate you so much. You're prayers are what get us through. You know how I was when I first wrote on Tuesday, Wed. whatever day it was,I was a wreck. I have had tears today, normal, but I feel good and I am doing what Monika said, I am talking to my heavenly father!
    Love you and hugs to you all, Jan
  • carol2dogs
    carol2dogs Member Posts: 132
    #8
    JanQ said:

    update
    Well, I will continue to praise the Lord my God.
    Lisa, my nurse called this morning and I was on line up loading pictures, saw her call on
    call wave. I called her back on my cell phone and it was kind of breaking up. I heard 72 which meant my ca 125 would have gone from 122 down to 72 so my immediate reponse was Praise God! Lisa said Jan I said 172.2 which means it went up 50 points but I am still going to praise the Lord, because God is love he is not cancer, this is not his will. At some point I will realize this journey.
    I can't wait till the revival in Florida, we leave Friday and will be coming back Monday.
    Again I just love each of you and appreciate you so much. You're prayers are what get us through. You know how I was when I first wrote on Tuesday, Wed. whatever day it was,I was a wreck. I have had tears today, normal, but I feel good and I am doing what Monika said, I am talking to my heavenly father!
    Love you and hugs to you all, Jan

    Jan,
    I'm sorry I had not been checking the board this week to see your posting earlier. I agree that others have been far more eloquent than I could. I know that I have days when each moment seems to drag on for hours, especially those bad after-chemo days. Wouldn't it be nice to just be normal for a day or so? You are so inspiring to me with your personal communication with God -what an awesome and perfect answer for all of us! Have a great time in Florida! Our prayers will be with you!
    Carol

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