plastic beads

Unknown
Unknown
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
I have around my neck some plastic beads. I got them today from my radiation clinic because I finished treatment this morning.
When I was first diagnosed I thought I was going to die. I looked around at all the things in my life that were precious, furniture, jewelry, my hair even, that had been so important to me and they were meaningless in light of my cancer, completely unable to save me or lift my spirits. It was devastating. As my treatment began, and chemo dragged on, I wondered if these things, if life, would ever have the same meaning as it once held.
I didn't know that I was asking the wrong question. Today, after all that I have been through, I have learned to give things and life new meaning and not just to hope to go back to the old. My plastic beads, given to each patient after completion, are about the most precious of things I have ever received or worked for. There is more truth in them than the hardest of diamonds in my jewelry box.
And, by the way, they are mardi gras beads. And yes, I did have to show (for 30 rads) my bare chest to get them!
Courage to all of you who are still working for your beads. Love, Joyce

Comments

  • liz11808
    liz11808 Member Posts: 34
    #2
    Dear Joyce,
    Congratulation on your achievement. Well, we do look at things really different now. Your plastic beads will be so precious to you, an award that meant a lot.

    God bless,
    Liz
  • chenheart
    chenheart Member Posts: 5,159
    #3
    JoyceLouise~

    Congratulations!!! You have worked so hard to be where you are today! I can still recall your original postings; the fear in your words, and truth be told, the hopelesness. You allowed yourself to be enveloped by those of us who had walked this path a few steps ahead of you, and you became a different woman. Gradually, you allowed yourself to be comforted and educated by The Sisterhood. I remember your query about things spiritual...and how you genuinely appreciated the stories of faith that others shared with you.

    Look at you now! You are in the forefront of those who educate, comfort and empathize with those now walking behind you!! How many times have you posted a response to someone and have said the exact thing that newly scared Sister needed to hear?? When I see your name as one of the posters, I drop down and read it immediately. I know it will be humorous and insightful, and full of warmth and love. Just as you are.

    I don't think you were asking the wrong questions at all, by the way. You just didn't know what the answers would be. And now you do!

    Who knew you would be getting Mardi Gras beads? Not without humor, that radiation center is~ making you all show your breasts! :-) All I got was a Certificate of Completion! It is on my refrigerator 5 years later.

    I'm so happy for you!

    Hugs,
    Claudia
  • Unknown
    Unknown
    #4
    chenheart said:

    JoyceLouise~

    Congratulations!!! You have worked so hard to be where you are today! I can still recall your original postings; the fear in your words, and truth be told, the hopelesness. You allowed yourself to be enveloped by those of us who had walked this path a few steps ahead of you, and you became a different woman. Gradually, you allowed yourself to be comforted and educated by The Sisterhood. I remember your query about things spiritual...and how you genuinely appreciated the stories of faith that others shared with you.

    Look at you now! You are in the forefront of those who educate, comfort and empathize with those now walking behind you!! How many times have you posted a response to someone and have said the exact thing that newly scared Sister needed to hear?? When I see your name as one of the posters, I drop down and read it immediately. I know it will be humorous and insightful, and full of warmth and love. Just as you are.

    I don't think you were asking the wrong questions at all, by the way. You just didn't know what the answers would be. And now you do!

    Who knew you would be getting Mardi Gras beads? Not without humor, that radiation center is~ making you all show your breasts! :-) All I got was a Certificate of Completion! It is on my refrigerator 5 years later.

    I'm so happy for you!

    Hugs,
    Claudia

    Claudia,
    Well, you said the words I needed and wanted to hear. I think I will cut your post out and put it on my refridgerator!
    I also read your posts eagerly. As I have from the beginning. And for all the changes you mentioned that I have made, I thank YOU and the other sisters. But I am not done benefitting yet so you will read me kicking around in here for a long time yet. And I sure do hope I can help others.
    Your friend and sister, Joyce
  • Unknown
    Unknown
    #5
    liz11808 said:

    Dear Joyce,
    Congratulation on your achievement. Well, we do look at things really different now. Your plastic beads will be so precious to you, an award that meant a lot.

    God bless,
    Liz

    I'll keep reading this site for a time when you will post that you are through with the tuff stuff too. And then celebrate with you as you have with me. Thanks Liz! Love, Joyce
  • KathiM
    KathiM Member Posts: 8,028 Member
    #6
    You are too funny! Showing your chest!

    I know what you mean about perspective. My center gave me a button that said 'Graduate' on it...I have 2, one for each cancer. They are precious!

    Congrats and hugs, kathi
  • mmontero38
    mmontero38 Member Posts: 1,510
    #7
    My dearest Joycelouise:
    You DID IT. I am so proud of you. I remember reading your first postings and feeling the fear in the words you typed but YOU DID IT. It's done and I couldn't be more proud. It's a rough road to have to go through but look at what you've accomplished. You learned to appreciate the little things in life and not the material. There is nothing more important than our health. A lesson we have all learned here on this board. Congratulations to you sweetie, for your insight, courage, and sense of humor that I've come to love reading your postings. Love you, Lili
  • Unknown
    Unknown
    #8
    KathiM said:

    You are too funny! Showing your chest!

    I know what you mean about perspective. My center gave me a button that said 'Graduate' on it...I have 2, one for each cancer. They are precious!

    Congrats and hugs, kathi

    YOu should have gotten a graduate degree for your second, maybe even a ph.D! Thanks for sharing with me, in every way. Love, Joyce
  • Unknown
    Unknown
    #9
    mmontero38 said:

    My dearest Joycelouise:
    You DID IT. I am so proud of you. I remember reading your first postings and feeling the fear in the words you typed but YOU DID IT. It's done and I couldn't be more proud. It's a rough road to have to go through but look at what you've accomplished. You learned to appreciate the little things in life and not the material. There is nothing more important than our health. A lesson we have all learned here on this board. Congratulations to you sweetie, for your insight, courage, and sense of humor that I've come to love reading your postings. Love you, Lili

    Yep, did it with the help of people like you and your kindness. YOu are so right about having learned things. While I will never say that I am glad I went through this, I will never say that I am sorry I went through it either. My best wishes to you. If I remember you will be finishing up your rads soon? We have some celebrating to do! love, Joyce
  • ninjamom
    ninjamom Member Posts: 142
    #10
    Congratulations!!!!!! I have only known you (thru this site) for a short period of time and like so many others I immediatly scroll down to your reply as I know it will be humorous as well as kind and loving. Thank you for all your advice, I hope you keep visiting the site to let us know how you are doing.
    God bless you and your family
  • Jadie
    Jadie Member Posts: 723
    #11
    Congrats Joyce

    I so enjoyed reading your post. You are so good with words. I felt the same way when dx. I was so numb mentally and physically. Everything lost meaning to me. I've been out of treatment for almost 5 years now and I guess I have returned to a new normal.

    We have to give life a new meaning. I dont think we can go back to the old.



    I dont mean to sound ungrateful or unthankful I'm not. But it was really hard to find any meaning to anything. The numbness was a real problem for me.
  • Unknown
    Unknown
    #12
    ninjamom said:

    Congratulations!!!!!! I have only known you (thru this site) for a short period of time and like so many others I immediatly scroll down to your reply as I know it will be humorous as well as kind and loving. Thank you for all your advice, I hope you keep visiting the site to let us know how you are doing.
    God bless you and your family

    Getting the beads was nice, but being part of this group of sisters is pricelss! I will hang around for a long time. Reading the posts here has helped me deal with DX and really helped me find my new self. Really, shouldn't everyone go through life growing, changing and learning? Plus, I can't imagine the day when I will not need a place to gripe occasionally, because growing, changing and learning don't come easy. Thanks to you and the others for posting - we all take such good care of each other..love, Joyce
  • Unknown
    Unknown
    #13
    Jadie said:

    Congrats Joyce

    I so enjoyed reading your post. You are so good with words. I felt the same way when dx. I was so numb mentally and physically. Everything lost meaning to me. I've been out of treatment for almost 5 years now and I guess I have returned to a new normal.

    We have to give life a new meaning. I dont think we can go back to the old.



    I dont mean to sound ungrateful or unthankful I'm not. But it was really hard to find any meaning to anything. The numbness was a real problem for me.

    I know what you mean about the numbness. But I could see that it was a protection, like a raincoat. Because when first DX each thing that I did care about hurt when combined with the uncertainty of being able to enjoy it carefree. It was easier to be numb. Maybe that is one reason why this board can be so helpful. It feels safe. I still have a ways to go (as does my one inch hair)but I am growing, not shrinking now. Congratulations on five plus years! Thanks for writing. Love, Joyce
  • Jadie
    Jadie Member Posts: 723
    #14
    unknown said:

    I know what you mean about the numbness. But I could see that it was a protection, like a raincoat. Because when first DX each thing that I did care about hurt when combined with the uncertainty of being able to enjoy it carefree. It was easier to be numb. Maybe that is one reason why this board can be so helpful. It feels safe. I still have a ways to go (as does my one inch hair)but I am growing, not shrinking now. Congratulations on five plus years! Thanks for writing. Love, Joyce

    You are so right. It did feel like a protection. It probably kept me from going into a million pieces. I prayed more for strength to get through this (cancer and treatment) than anything else. I suppose that was Gods answer.

    Here I am a 5yr. survivor looking to you for support. Who knew? Maby we can help each other.

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