Recurrance already

aandj
aandj Member Posts: 33
edited March 2014 in Ovarian Cancer #1
Many of you may remember that some weeks ago I was so delighted as I was finishing my chemo. Within 4 weeks of completion, however, I have a recurrance, and I am now on my second round of chemo. I will be on Cisplatin and Gemzar combo - was going to be carbo and Gemzar, but bizzarly I had an allergic reaction to the first second round dose of carbo.
This is all very overwhemling, and emotionally I am not doing so great. I am now on antidepressants, and so is my husband - just as a way of trying to get both of us to cope better.
I worked pretty much right through my first round of chemo, but the doc tells me that I am not going to be able to do the same as the treatments are now more frequent and more aggressive. I am not sure how I am going to occupy my mind for the next 18 weeks! Maybe take up the knitting again...
Advice, support and prayers are welcome....
Angela

Comments

  • saundra
    saundra Member Posts: 1,370 Member
    #2
    I am so sorry to hear of your recurrance so soon. Have you startred a spiritual journal. I read a daily meditation and write in a journal every day and that helps me keep a record of treatment, feelings, and gratitudes and positive thoughts. I start my day with this usually but sometimes end with it. I also take the anti-depressant, try to walk a little everyday and read something funny. I am also allergic to carboplatin but was able to take 8 rounds with pre allergy medication as my mild reaction was only an itchy rash. I work crossword puzzles and have become a news hound. Reminds me that there are others hurting in the world. I will be praying for you. Saundra
  • carol2dogs
    carol2dogs Member Posts: 132
    #3
    Angela,
    I am so sorry to hear about your recurrence. I can't even imagine how hard that must be! I like the idea of journaling, and that was smart to get the anti-depressants. Are there hobbies you like to do? Maybe you could do something with photographs - take, collect, organize, etc. Or maybe you could start blogging. Maybe you can establish Angela's chair for chemo - seems like they should give you some concessions.
    Our prayers, thoughts, and hugs are with you!
    Love, Carol
  • BonnieR
    BonnieR Member Posts: 1,526 Member
    #4
    Dear Angela, I also am sorry to read of your recurrence. Glad you came here to share as you know lots of support comes from everyone here.

    I worked through my first round of chemo too and then filed for disability after I started the second round of treatments. You will probably be more tired and find it harder to focus. I also like to journal, did it more often a few years back but still write occasionally. Cisplatin and Gemzar are tough drugs for most women so listen to your doc, maybe call and talk to Social Security, you can always go off disability once you are well enough to work again. :-) Sending lots of prayers n hugs your way. Bonnie
  • duckcreek
    duckcreek Member Posts: 14
    #5
    I know how you are feeling. I too am back on chemo for a recurrance after 9 months. I keep a journal too and I think it helps when I am feeling very depressed. I have been away from my husband for 3 months because there is not a gyno/oncologist in my area. I am from IL and I have been living with my daughter in FL which isn't always easy moving in with your kids! Try to laugh everyday. I think of a quote I read often. " Its not how you weather the storm but how you dance in the rain." I am on Carbo and Gemzar. I did the IP chemo last time and talk about rough! Think Positive!
  • mopar
    mopar Member Posts: 1,972 Member
    #6
    Angela:
    So sorry to hear you must endure this again. All good advice from these wonderful women. You can only take one day at a time, or as I always say, one MOMENT at a time. Journaling was helpful to me also. I also had lots of 'mini' projects to do on the days when I wasn't feeling so well - like sorting through all my unorganized photographs, recipes, etc. Seems I ALWAYS have paperwork and little projects like that. I am currently transferring all my family videos to DVD's. And I found a program on the computer to transfer all my cassette tapes to CD's. That's exciting to me, as I have lots of cassettes that my three daughters made when they were younger. I love hearing their little voices as they were at 5 or 6 or 10 years old.

    So, find something to definitely take your mind off of this. There will be plenty of moments that you will need to deal with everything. So find something you and your husband can do to fill the other moments.

    My thoughts and prayers to the both of you. Hang on to HOPE and hang in there!
    Hugs, luv and prayers,
    Monika
  • lindachris
    lindachris Member Posts: 173
    #7
    I/we can certainly relate to the antidepressants. There's absolutely nothing wrong with that, let me tell you. My wife is currently weaning herself off them and we are obviously hoping we do not experience a recurrence. But your challenge is proof that none of us in this experience knows exactly what to expect. But you know, I'm sure, that many of us also pray for you, think good thoughts for you and hope that this round of chemo will knock it all out. God Bless. Chris
  • floridajo
    floridajo Member Posts: 480
    #8
    Angela,
    I had a similar thing happen to me. I had finished my first chemo cycles,clear ca-125 and ct scan. I scheduled a second look/colostomy reversal 6 weeks after I had finished. I woke up from the surgery delighted to find the colostomy bag gone!!! However that happiness was dashed quickly when my Onc told me there were still visable signs of cancer,plus all 15 biopsies were positive as well. I went back on chemo for another 6 rounds, I was put on Doxil..since it appeared I'm platinum resisant. I made it through and since then have had another 2 recurrences..which I am not just about the complete the last treatments for. I feel good. I know that "cure" is off the table for me,but I still fight it back when it rears it's ugly head. I live as good as a life as I can, and thank G*D everyday for this. I fill my days with lots of things depending on how I feel. Good luck and (((hugz)))~~~Joanne
  • kris43
    kris43 Member Posts: 275
    #9
    Angela - I am sorry to hear this news. You have already received such good advice I will just say that I concur. I did not write in an actual journal but did keep an on-line journal on caringbridge.org - which allows those around you to keep in touch with you and also read how you are doing without feeling as if they are 'bothering' you if they call or stop by. My friends and family loved it and it was very cathartic for me.

    There is nothing wrong with taking something to help with your emotions - I can only imagine what you and your family are going through.

    I was not able to work during my treatment because of complications with wound sites and an infected IP port - but I had lunch with friends, talked on the phone, my computer was my absolute lifeline to the outside world and slept. A lot. And day by day I (and all of us) made it through.

    My oncologist told me from day one that ovarian cancer is treated as a chronic disease these days. Our disease does not have great odds - but the women on this site continue to show that you can fight it and sometimes win. And that gives me hope.

    Take good care and I will be thinking of you.

    Kris
  • Unknown
    Unknown
    #10
    This comment has been removed by the Moderator
  • JanQ
    JanQ Member Posts: 236
    #11
    I am so sorry to haar your news. I know how you feel I have been on chemo now 21 months. I am now on Topotecan and it seems to be working. I do it 5 days on and 14 days off, that is kind of aggravating, going every day, it also does a number on my blood counts.
    I have found that music, praise music does wonders and it gets my mind off of myself.
    I am also on antidepressants. I just had them change it to Wellbutrin hopefully I can lose some weight.
    Good luck and God be with you and bless you.
    Jan

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