Mom has stage4

cperk
cperk Member Posts: 1
edited March 2014 in Colorectal Cancer #1
Hi I am new to this network but would love info. I am the caregiver. My mom was just diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer. The oncologist said she would be on chemo forever. Any change of remission. I would love to hear stories. Thanks. Ps my name is Cheryl by the way

Comments

  • pamness
    pamness Member Posts: 524 Member
    #2
    Hi Cheryl: I am somewhat new to this board. I had Stage III colon cancer so I am not in the same situation as your Mom but there are many stage IV survivors that I am sure you will be hearing from you have some great advice and experience. I hope you find this board as helpful as I have.

    Welcome, Pam
  • apache4
    apache4 Member Posts: 272 Member
    #3
    Hi! Sorry to hear about your Mom. I am the "Mom" with cancer in my family and I know my kids have been worried the past two years. I had surgery and have been on chemo since then. I live alone with my son and his family about 4 miles away. Does your Mom need "cargiving" already? How old is she? The best support I get from the kids is their letting me know how strong they see that I am and I think that gives them strength also. All we can do is fight this thing. Remission is possible...At first everyone wanted to "help", but I tell them that I will need lots of help in the future so, they can save it until then and live their lives now without that extra. I deal with my situation realistically...it is what it is and each day is a blessing. I hope that your Mom has hobbies, etc. to help keep her mind focused on other things. Chemo is no picnic, but you have to have faith that you slowly recover strangth and can enjoy things until the next treatment. Pets are wonderful also. I have lots and when I feel bad I just have to pet them or watch their antics and soon I am smiling. They also force me to get up each morning and start the day. The other thing that I would like to mention is how valuable it would be to share this site with her and have her sign up and chat with us all. Just reading posts everyday gives me hope, makes me feel less alone in this journey and provides others to speak with in similar situation. Everyone reacts to treatment differently and the doctors have to treat each patient according to their particular situation. Blessings to you, your family and especially your Mom. I hope to see her on the site.
    P.S. I will be flying to Ca. from Fl. on Friday to visit my daughter...two years and I still function...YEH!
  • KathiM
    KathiM Member Posts: 8,028 Member
    #4
    apache4 said:

    Hi! Sorry to hear about your Mom. I am the "Mom" with cancer in my family and I know my kids have been worried the past two years. I had surgery and have been on chemo since then. I live alone with my son and his family about 4 miles away. Does your Mom need "cargiving" already? How old is she? The best support I get from the kids is their letting me know how strong they see that I am and I think that gives them strength also. All we can do is fight this thing. Remission is possible...At first everyone wanted to "help", but I tell them that I will need lots of help in the future so, they can save it until then and live their lives now without that extra. I deal with my situation realistically...it is what it is and each day is a blessing. I hope that your Mom has hobbies, etc. to help keep her mind focused on other things. Chemo is no picnic, but you have to have faith that you slowly recover strangth and can enjoy things until the next treatment. Pets are wonderful also. I have lots and when I feel bad I just have to pet them or watch their antics and soon I am smiling. They also force me to get up each morning and start the day. The other thing that I would like to mention is how valuable it would be to share this site with her and have her sign up and chat with us all. Just reading posts everyday gives me hope, makes me feel less alone in this journey and provides others to speak with in similar situation. Everyone reacts to treatment differently and the doctors have to treat each patient according to their particular situation. Blessings to you, your family and especially your Mom. I hope to see her on the site.
    P.S. I will be flying to Ca. from Fl. on Friday to visit my daughter...two years and I still function...YEH!

    Hey, that's my stomping grounds....where in CA? Maybe we could hook up!

    Hugs, kathi
  • KathiM
    KathiM Member Posts: 8,028 Member
    #5
    There are plenty of great stage IV stories! I am a stage III, so mine was limited. But, there are many that take 'chemo breaks' that can actually last years...'Wait and see' should be your motto...get mom thru the initial treatment first!

    Cheryl, she is going to look to you to keep things as 'normal' as possible. This is a wonderful, caring thing you are doing...please keep visiting here...you can vent, yell, cry, laugh, whatever!

    Hugs, Kathi
  • apache4
    apache4 Member Posts: 272 Member
    #6
    KathiM said:

    Hey, that's my stomping grounds....where in CA? Maybe we could hook up!

    Hugs, kathi

    I will be in San Francisco area. My daughter lives in a little town on the coast called Montara which is 10 miles north of Half Moon Bay. Where are you?
  • KathiM
    KathiM Member Posts: 8,028 Member
    #7
    apache4 said:

    I will be in San Francisco area. My daughter lives in a little town on the coast called Montara which is 10 miles north of Half Moon Bay. Where are you?

    Sigh, Southern....by Palm Springs....was a good thought, anyway! Hey, you could go to Colonpalooza in October, in S.F., and visit your daughter, too!

    Hugs, Kathi
  • cjf2006
    cjf2006 Member Posts: 83
    #8
    I am a mom (of grown kids)and have stage 4 colon cancer. I was diagnosed Oct 2006. I also have been told that I will be on chemo forever. I look forward to my breaks. I find that it helps to have things to look forward to. Last summer I wasn't doing too well after a break and my dr was going to change my regimen. I was scared. But My oldest son was getting married in January, so I decided to muster up some courage and go through it because I wanted to be at that wedding. It turned out that the chemo wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, and I'm still on it. I get a break for the next few weeks for a little family vacation. Again, it was a goal to look forward to. I would also be interested to know your mother's age.
  • cjf2006
    cjf2006 Member Posts: 83
    #9
    I am a mom (of grown kids)and have stage 4 colon cancer. I was diagnosed Oct 2006. I also have been told that I will be on chemo forever. I look forward to my breaks. I find that it helps to have things to look forward to. Last summer I wasn't doing too well after a break and my dr was going to change my regimen. I was scared. But My oldest son was getting married in January, so I decided to muster up some courage and go through it because I wanted to be at that wedding. It turned out that the chemo wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, and I'm still on it. I get a break for the next few weeks for a little family vacation. Again, it was a goal to look forward to. I would also be interested to know your mother's age.
  • CherylHutch
    CherylHutch Member Posts: 1,375 Member
    #10
    Hi Cheryl... welcome to the board from another Cheryl :)

    First, I think you will get lots of helpful information when you read through the various topics/messages on this board.

    Apache4 hit the nail on the head when she mentioned pets are a wonderful distraction from the rough parts of this journey. Everyone reacts differently to their treatments... even if your Mom were on the exact same chemos as someone else, their reactions would be different. All things considered, I had a relatively easy time with my 8 months of chemo. In months 5 and 6, I was at our summer theatre as Box Office Manager every day, dealing with audiences of 1200 - 1400 every night. When I was on my chemo days, I did take the first day off because I had to go to the Cancer Agency for 4 hours of IV chemo, then I was on a portable pump for 3 days. I just stuck the pump in a fanny pack and off I went to the theatre ... with my dog! She'd snooze in her basket on the Box Office counter while I worked at the counter selling tickets.

    On the days I would be tired because of the chemo, my little schnauzer still needed to go out, still needed to be taken for walks (I live in the heart of the city, so she has to be on a leash and I live in an apartment, so we don't have a fenced in yard), get fresh air and exercise. Now, I have a lot of friends/neighbours who are more than happy to take Bridget out for her walks, but I told them as long as I can physically walk, then it's something I insist on doing... both for Bridget's sake and my own. I could use the fresh air and walking too!

    So, I guess my advice to you (if you are asking) is to not "coddle" or "baby" your mom. Treat her as you normally would and she will be much happier to know that life can be normal or close to normal. If she does really react to the chemo, it will probably be that she has days where she is really tired. So, on those days, she can (and should) take any naps that she needs. If she is finding she is sleeping long periods during the day, she should mention this to her doctor who can then adjust her meds.

    As my oncologist told me before I started my chemo treatments... "We won't know how you are going to react until you start the treatments. We will start you off with some meds for nausea, but if you have any other symptoms, you just let me know and we will get you a med to correct that." She does not believe that anyone should suffer while on chemo and if I did, then it's up to her as my oncologist, to prescribe a med to correct whatever I'm going through.

    I'm not sure if any of this helps, but your Mom is about to go on a journey... and I firmly believe that attitude is what will make her journey easy or hard... which in turn will affect you.

    Cheryl
    Vancouver, B.C.
  • pamness
    pamness Member Posts: 524 Member
    #11
    CherylHutch said:

    Hi Cheryl... welcome to the board from another Cheryl :)

    First, I think you will get lots of helpful information when you read through the various topics/messages on this board.

    Apache4 hit the nail on the head when she mentioned pets are a wonderful distraction from the rough parts of this journey. Everyone reacts differently to their treatments... even if your Mom were on the exact same chemos as someone else, their reactions would be different. All things considered, I had a relatively easy time with my 8 months of chemo. In months 5 and 6, I was at our summer theatre as Box Office Manager every day, dealing with audiences of 1200 - 1400 every night. When I was on my chemo days, I did take the first day off because I had to go to the Cancer Agency for 4 hours of IV chemo, then I was on a portable pump for 3 days. I just stuck the pump in a fanny pack and off I went to the theatre ... with my dog! She'd snooze in her basket on the Box Office counter while I worked at the counter selling tickets.

    On the days I would be tired because of the chemo, my little schnauzer still needed to go out, still needed to be taken for walks (I live in the heart of the city, so she has to be on a leash and I live in an apartment, so we don't have a fenced in yard), get fresh air and exercise. Now, I have a lot of friends/neighbours who are more than happy to take Bridget out for her walks, but I told them as long as I can physically walk, then it's something I insist on doing... both for Bridget's sake and my own. I could use the fresh air and walking too!

    So, I guess my advice to you (if you are asking) is to not "coddle" or "baby" your mom. Treat her as you normally would and she will be much happier to know that life can be normal or close to normal. If she does really react to the chemo, it will probably be that she has days where she is really tired. So, on those days, she can (and should) take any naps that she needs. If she is finding she is sleeping long periods during the day, she should mention this to her doctor who can then adjust her meds.

    As my oncologist told me before I started my chemo treatments... "We won't know how you are going to react until you start the treatments. We will start you off with some meds for nausea, but if you have any other symptoms, you just let me know and we will get you a med to correct that." She does not believe that anyone should suffer while on chemo and if I did, then it's up to her as my oncologist, to prescribe a med to correct whatever I'm going through.

    I'm not sure if any of this helps, but your Mom is about to go on a journey... and I firmly believe that attitude is what will make her journey easy or hard... which in turn will affect you.

    Cheryl
    Vancouver, B.C.

    Oh so true, I am stage III, so I have a different story, at least a bit, but I am one of those people who had a horrible time with oxal. iplatin. The meds they eventually gave me helped me carry on. I did have to advocate for myself. Great advice.
    Pam

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