restless night

tootsie1
tootsie1 Member Posts: 5,044 Member
edited March 2014 in Colorectal Cancer #1
Last night was one of those nights. The CLOUD descended on me again. Just felt scared and worried. I felt like the only way to get relief would be to scream as loud as I could, but I didn't do that. My husband had fallen asleep on the couch, and I didn't want him to jump out of his skin. Hoping tonight I will feel more peace...

Comments

  • jams67
    jams67 Member Posts: 925 Member
    #2
    I have found that the barometric pressure makes a difference in my sleep. If a front is coming in, it changes and I'm up at night and more stressed. This message probably won't help but it might be fun to see if that is the case.
    Jo Ann
  • Monicaemilia
    Monicaemilia Member Posts: 455 Member
    #3
    I have had many of those nights, so I can relate as I know many on this board can. All I can suggest is when you have one of those nights, pick up a book, meditate, pray, do anything that will help you get some perspective. Just don't give this disease more power. Monica
  • KathiM
    KathiM Member Posts: 8,028 Member
    #4
    How about in the bathroom, into a pillow? Or laughing at something, long and hard. Also, my sleep cycle was messed up during my treatment, so, instead of fighting, I just got up and read or watched TV. I agree with Monica, the goal is to give as little power to cancer as you can...

    Hugs, Kathi
  • jenhopesprays
    jenhopesprays Member Posts: 128 Member
    #5
    We have all been there especially in the beginning of dx or when a new crisis erupts. My trick is to listen to a directional meditation with my ipod and ear buds. The one I have has me imagining a forest and has relaxing forest sounds then it takes me to the surf. The next thing I know its morning.

    Redirecting my thoughts with specific directions helps so much. Of course I slip off tract and then just refocus while listening to the directions. Pray works too.

    Wishing you Zzzzzz's. We need them to heal.

    Jen
  • pamness
    pamness Member Posts: 524 Member
    #6
    Today is my birthday. I was Stage IIIA, a year ago, I wondered if I would be here for my birthday this year or whether or not I wanted to be. In reality, I knew I would make it no matter how unpleasant the chemo/rads etc. were. You too will be fine. I had some real emotional problems dealing with the anxiety. I have a great therapist and psychopharmachologist. They put me on zoloft and gave me something to help me sleep when I needed it. The zoloft really helped and just being able to talk to someone about how scared I was really helped. I sleep much better now. Have you talked to anyone - my oncologist highly recommended it. If it is just an occasional problem, I found that watching something really funny on TV or laughing with friends really helped. I have seen your messages. It seems you are having a hard time. I wish you all the best. It is hard. Do you have any friends who have had cancer that can help too. I will send you happy thoughts.

    If I am remembering your previous posts correctly, you are Stage I, close to 100 percent cure rate. Try not to give in to the fear. Again, talking to someone can be very helpful. I live in Boston, a major medical center. I don't know where you are, but they recommend talking to someone to help you through this. Just the word cancer is enough to scare the living daylights out of anyone.


    Pam
  • tootsie1
    tootsie1 Member Posts: 5,044 Member
    #7
    pamness said:

    Today is my birthday. I was Stage IIIA, a year ago, I wondered if I would be here for my birthday this year or whether or not I wanted to be. In reality, I knew I would make it no matter how unpleasant the chemo/rads etc. were. You too will be fine. I had some real emotional problems dealing with the anxiety. I have a great therapist and psychopharmachologist. They put me on zoloft and gave me something to help me sleep when I needed it. The zoloft really helped and just being able to talk to someone about how scared I was really helped. I sleep much better now. Have you talked to anyone - my oncologist highly recommended it. If it is just an occasional problem, I found that watching something really funny on TV or laughing with friends really helped. I have seen your messages. It seems you are having a hard time. I wish you all the best. It is hard. Do you have any friends who have had cancer that can help too. I will send you happy thoughts.

    If I am remembering your previous posts correctly, you are Stage I, close to 100 percent cure rate. Try not to give in to the fear. Again, talking to someone can be very helpful. I live in Boston, a major medical center. I don't know where you are, but they recommend talking to someone to help you through this. Just the word cancer is enough to scare the living daylights out of anyone.


    Pam

    Happy Birthday, Pam! Thanks so much to you (and everyone else) for the lovely messages. I think I'm having a hard time right now because I'm feeling lousy and don't know exactly why. Is it the surgery or just dumb luck or something more? And I've never fully recovered emotionally from my husband's sudden cardiac arrest. The interesting thing is that I got home from the hospital at the end of Nov., and he had to go to the hospital in January for defibrillator replacement. Too much at once! Believe it or not, I'm usually a positive, happy person. I think right now I'm trying to be too strong and "amazing" for my family. That's why I'm grateful for being able to unload here. I promise I'll rally soon!
  • jams67
    jams67 Member Posts: 925 Member
    #8
    tootsie1 said:

    Happy Birthday, Pam! Thanks so much to you (and everyone else) for the lovely messages. I think I'm having a hard time right now because I'm feeling lousy and don't know exactly why. Is it the surgery or just dumb luck or something more? And I've never fully recovered emotionally from my husband's sudden cardiac arrest. The interesting thing is that I got home from the hospital at the end of Nov., and he had to go to the hospital in January for defibrillator replacement. Too much at once! Believe it or not, I'm usually a positive, happy person. I think right now I'm trying to be too strong and "amazing" for my family. That's why I'm grateful for being able to unload here. I promise I'll rally soon!

    As Pam suggested, try some kind of therapy and get some help. Give in to being normal! You may be amazed at how much it helps to know a few techniques to use when you think life is becoming overwhelming. I know I had sinus surgery in the fall and I was able to use the breathing techniques I had learned during therapy to help and no one even knew I was lessoning my anxiety in that quiet private way. Great while driving in traffic too!
    Jo Ann
  • tootsie1
    tootsie1 Member Posts: 5,044 Member
    #9
    jenhopesprays said:

    We have all been there especially in the beginning of dx or when a new crisis erupts. My trick is to listen to a directional meditation with my ipod and ear buds. The one I have has me imagining a forest and has relaxing forest sounds then it takes me to the surf. The next thing I know its morning.

    Redirecting my thoughts with specific directions helps so much. Of course I slip off tract and then just refocus while listening to the directions. Pray works too.

    Wishing you Zzzzzz's. We need them to heal.

    Jen

    Just so y'all know, I'm okay. Really. I have a down day or night,but mostly I'm okay. This is new, and it will get better. Guess I better think more carefully before posting about a down time. Just because I'm down one night, it doesn't mean I'm down ALL the time. I have more good times than bad ones. I'll feel better when I'm farther down the road without any bumps.
  • LOUSWIFT
    LOUSWIFT Member Posts: 371 Member
    #10
    Hi Tootsie: Her's my secret stress reliever. When I was very sick, weak, from the chemo and with bad hand & foot syndrome so I could barely stand and walking was a nightmare, my daughter and her finance wisely saw the need to move up their wedding. It was very important to me to walk her down the isle. Each week I was getting worst and her finance was in the military and there was the chance he would be sent overseas. So we went to our priest. We had been members of our parrish for over 30 years and explained the situation and asked for him to grant us this favor in effect waving two months of the six months required to get permission. He flatly refused. So we did hold the wedding in a non-denominational church with a minister we did not know outside of our parrish. Still despite everything I made the trip down with my daughter. I limped and wasn't too steady but we made it. There is a black cloud that forms everytime I drive by my old parrish church. But I turn the anger to laughter because if I ever win the lottery I intend to buy the land next to my old church and call it "Father Ron's Adult Book Store". I won't really have any adult books in there because I have more compassion then he does. Anyway it turns my anger to smiles. NO more cloud no more stress-God provides. My point any emotion can be turned into something positive fear to courage-anger to laughter-sorrow to pride. It works for me. Two years later I have a beautiful grand daughter.

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