What kind of person are we?

Unknown
Unknown
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
As I read and write posts on this fabulous discussion board, I sometimes wonder - what type of people use this resource? For instance, in the discussion of how to move on after cancer, are all those who have moved on, without a backwards glance not even coming here to tell us that? Are we a self selected, self defined group? What traits do we share? I am articulate, enjoy communication, believe that knowledge is power, perhaps a tad obsessive (ouch!). Additionally, I am a nurturer of others, empathetic to a fault, educated, and analytical. I am also an artist, but I don't see how that fits in. Do you all think that we are more alike than different? This discussion board serves the entire U.S. and we are all saddened by how many lives are touched by cancer, and yet the numbers using this resource are relatively small. Perhaps most haven't found it, or have other support groups. But, one thing I know, whatever type of person I am, I sure do need this forum. I might add here, that I like the writing aspect and don't think I would do as well in face to face contact (mostly because I would hog the speaker's chair!)
What about you? What type of person are you? Are we similar? Just asking for fun.
love to all - Joyce

Comments

  • RE
    RE Member Posts: 4,591 Member
    #2
    Hello Joyce, I have been dealing with breast cancer for 11 years as a survivor and about 33 as a caregiver. I never came to this site because I did not know it was here. I would not go to a face to face place cause my daddy always said "do not air your dirty laundry and keep private things private". Now that said the 6 weeks I have been coming here have been great and I will keep coming. Let me see what kind of gal am I. I am a Christian first, wife, mother, grandmother, sister and friend. I love animals and have four myself, I love to make folks laugh, I enjoy singing, photography, camping, riding my quad and going out with friends. I have been told I am analytical, I see myself as a kind person, I adore children as they seem to refresh the soul with their antics. I love to write letters and have several pen pals. Okay that is all I can come up with. This was refreshing Joyce, thanks for the post and have a wonderful day.

    Rena
  • Unknown
    Unknown
    #3
    RE said:

    Hello Joyce, I have been dealing with breast cancer for 11 years as a survivor and about 33 as a caregiver. I never came to this site because I did not know it was here. I would not go to a face to face place cause my daddy always said "do not air your dirty laundry and keep private things private". Now that said the 6 weeks I have been coming here have been great and I will keep coming. Let me see what kind of gal am I. I am a Christian first, wife, mother, grandmother, sister and friend. I love animals and have four myself, I love to make folks laugh, I enjoy singing, photography, camping, riding my quad and going out with friends. I have been told I am analytical, I see myself as a kind person, I adore children as they seem to refresh the soul with their antics. I love to write letters and have several pen pals. Okay that is all I can come up with. This was refreshing Joyce, thanks for the post and have a wonderful day.

    Rena

    You sound like a fun person to be around! And similar in being analytical and people oriented. By the way, I have a couple dogs too. I forgot to ask about humor, and am glad you put that in too. I wasn't taught to keep private things private, but I was taught that no one wants to hear anyone complain, which may have some of the same results keeping me out of face to faces. Thank you for writing about yourself, Rena! I am glad you come to this site and share your experiences. 11 years - Yahoo! love, Joyce
  • seeknpeace
    seeknpeace Member Posts: 259
    #4
    What brought me here originally was seeking ppl of like kind, who would understand the fears and demons. What kept me here was the interaction and relationships that were built in that process.

    I have seen ppl posting here end up going down, their posts stop making sense and then we lose them. That is hard. But they needed us to the end.

    I am an artist as well, and I also write with the unending help of spell check, grammar check and reading what I write 15 times. I think the common link initially is our illness and then what keeps ppl here are the relationships and that is when like kind ppl come out. I think the ones who don't fit in, stay a minute and leave and the others stay and they share so much wisdom that they have learned. They have a purpose. Is Inkblot still here?

    I found myself buying pins, bracelets and other bc items in bulk and sending small objects to the newly diagnosed. It made me feel good to touch someone in a positive way I had never seen. So, I was meeting my caregiver need without rescuing someone.

    I left here for a while also to take a break from cancer. MS became king. When that diagnosis was given, I was in the battle of my life with a horrible boss. So a lot of stuff was out of kilter. It was a blessing to go out on disability from him, but not to fall down and not remember the names of things or my childhood, etc. With medication I am better. Then this.

    So, they're off...neck to neck, taking the first turn...who will take precendence...bc or ms.

    I will know after my surgeon sees my film or does the biopsy.

    But, this is a wonderful place. I love all my sisters and occasional brothers that come here.

    Jan
  • Unknown
    Unknown
    #5
    Hi Joyce, you're right, it seems like there would be so many more people in these discussions. I think that we may all be different, but we all share one very important trait=cancer. This I think bounds us together and is why we all feel such comfort in chatting with eachother. We can all relate with one anothers' concerns and fears. We all want to be there for each other. I am so grateful to have all of you in my life and as part of my support system:0) Eileen
  • seof
    seof Member Posts: 819 Member
    #6
    It is an interesting question. When I meet someone I know is newly diagnosed, I usually tell them about the site. Most make some comment indicating polite gratitude and mild interest, who knows what they do with the info later. One person said, "OOh, I stay away from those cancer websites, books, and stuff." She may be one of those who prefers to handle things more internally and privately.

    As far as what kind of person I am: I am a Christian first. I am a spouse and a Mom, and I am a Speech Pathologist by nature and by profession. I say Speech Pathologist by nature because, as a group, we desire clear communication, often to a fault. I am people-oriented, and am fascinated with how people think and feel. I am methodical and like to "mull it over" before taking action. In the fable of the Tortoise and the Hare, I am the Tortoise, but I WILL get it done. I also believe knowledge is power. My artistic nature is in the area of words...I enjoy writing poetry and fiction. I like doing crafts with kids too.
    I like this discussion board because reading and writing give time for "ruminating" before responding. In face-to-face conversations it is harder to take the time for it.

    Thanks for bringing this up.
  • Unknown
    Unknown
    #7
    seof said:

    It is an interesting question. When I meet someone I know is newly diagnosed, I usually tell them about the site. Most make some comment indicating polite gratitude and mild interest, who knows what they do with the info later. One person said, "OOh, I stay away from those cancer websites, books, and stuff." She may be one of those who prefers to handle things more internally and privately.

    As far as what kind of person I am: I am a Christian first. I am a spouse and a Mom, and I am a Speech Pathologist by nature and by profession. I say Speech Pathologist by nature because, as a group, we desire clear communication, often to a fault. I am people-oriented, and am fascinated with how people think and feel. I am methodical and like to "mull it over" before taking action. In the fable of the Tortoise and the Hare, I am the Tortoise, but I WILL get it done. I also believe knowledge is power. My artistic nature is in the area of words...I enjoy writing poetry and fiction. I like doing crafts with kids too.
    I like this discussion board because reading and writing give time for "ruminating" before responding. In face-to-face conversations it is harder to take the time for it.

    Thanks for bringing this up.

    Thanks for your responses. I think our need to connect with people is probably our strongest link. I am equally strenghtened by helping someone as I am by getting help (maybe more). but it is not just the advice I need, it is the contact. And it sure helps that you are all so well "spoken". I am a teacher, and it seems like many of us are in people service professions. Actually, anyway you look at it, you are all golden, and I am honored to call this board a home. Joyce
  • babs49242
    babs49242 Member Posts: 193
    #8
    Well, I am opposite than the women who posted. I do a lot of things by myself. I am a born again Christian,Loving spouse, Mom, Nana, sister. I enjoy volunteering one on one, artist in music,gardening and needlework. I do not talk much, more of a listener, so I keep a lot of things to myself, I keep a journal. I love large dogs and told hubby that if the Lord takes him home b4 me I will get a BIG dog. I do enjoy camping in the rough...no modern conveniences. I love to travel esp Ghana, Africa. Such a simple life. I am happy that I found this forum, I think I have been here since I was DX in 2004. I'm pretty laid back, not much bothers me. I love the ppl here..so open and loving. I think NOT being face to face helps me if not others to express ourselves.
    Have a wonderful Easter :)
    Cindie
  • Unknown
    Unknown
    #9
    babs49242 said:

    Well, I am opposite than the women who posted. I do a lot of things by myself. I am a born again Christian,Loving spouse, Mom, Nana, sister. I enjoy volunteering one on one, artist in music,gardening and needlework. I do not talk much, more of a listener, so I keep a lot of things to myself, I keep a journal. I love large dogs and told hubby that if the Lord takes him home b4 me I will get a BIG dog. I do enjoy camping in the rough...no modern conveniences. I love to travel esp Ghana, Africa. Such a simple life. I am happy that I found this forum, I think I have been here since I was DX in 2004. I'm pretty laid back, not much bothers me. I love the ppl here..so open and loving. I think NOT being face to face helps me if not others to express ourselves.
    Have a wonderful Easter :)
    Cindie

    Cindie, wow, traveling to Ghana. Haven't done that, but, I have an pretty big 8 month old German Shepherd that says the two of us do have something in common! (dogs) I got my shep a month before DX when he was a puppy. Walking him and training him has been a great source of help as well as a little source of sorrow for the days I wasn't well enough. As I am finished with chemo now "Flugel" and I have a lot of long walks planned. And actually, I am interested to hear that you are an artist (music). Me too. Same with others. But then, that is true of most women, in one way or another. Thank you so much for sharing. Love, Joyce
  • kbc4869
    kbc4869 Member Posts: 159
    #10
    Hi Joyce,

    You already know a little about me, but here goes: I enjoy writing and am probably a better writer than I am a verbal communicator. I have a tendency to be a bit abrupt in real life because I'm inpatient and always in a hurry to get what ever it needs done. I'm half practical and half creative. I enjoy playing the piano, gardening, decorating, and cooking for my family and close friends. I have an endless to-do list and like organization. I'm an introvert and really do prefer the time I spend by myself or on a one-on-on basis. Large crowds and socializing sap my energy. I'm a bit fiery when it comes to protecting the ones I love and I'm a very loyal friend. I have a strange sense of humor, and come from a close-knit family. I have been married for two years and am the mother of a two year old little girl who is a real handful. I work full time in a corporate environment, in which I will probably never excel at because I am far too honest and not a good **** kisser. And that's ok with me.

    Look forward to chatting to you soon! Thank you for your interesting questions. We sure have sparked some great discussions lately!

    xoxo,
    Kim
  • Unknown
    Unknown
    #11
    kbc4869 said:

    Hi Joyce,

    You already know a little about me, but here goes: I enjoy writing and am probably a better writer than I am a verbal communicator. I have a tendency to be a bit abrupt in real life because I'm inpatient and always in a hurry to get what ever it needs done. I'm half practical and half creative. I enjoy playing the piano, gardening, decorating, and cooking for my family and close friends. I have an endless to-do list and like organization. I'm an introvert and really do prefer the time I spend by myself or on a one-on-on basis. Large crowds and socializing sap my energy. I'm a bit fiery when it comes to protecting the ones I love and I'm a very loyal friend. I have a strange sense of humor, and come from a close-knit family. I have been married for two years and am the mother of a two year old little girl who is a real handful. I work full time in a corporate environment, in which I will probably never excel at because I am far too honest and not a good **** kisser. And that's ok with me.

    Look forward to chatting to you soon! Thank you for your interesting questions. We sure have sparked some great discussions lately!

    xoxo,
    Kim

    Kim, if you change a few of your words (I'm not a musician but visual artist) your description of yourself sounds like me, only you said it better. Half practical - half creative. And boy does that make for conflicts as well as success sometimes. Yep, sapped at Social stuff. I can do them well when I need to which is why they wear me out - I am doing, not being. I alsways come home feeling miles away from where I left. Thanks for writing about yourself. Maybe it is not a coincidence that I feel the same way you do. Maybe it is because you write so well you can touch people with self recongition. Have a wonderful day with your wonderful daughter! love, Joyce
  • rmap59
    rmap59 Member Posts: 266
    #12
    Joycelouise,
    I have enjoyed reading your post and the replies. It is interesting that all cancer patients dont utilize this forum but I have told people about it and they never felt the need to use it. I have been on both sides as patient and caregiver. I was dx with colorectal cancer and hang out mostly on that forum however, my Mom was just dx with breast cancer and that's why I have been hanging around with you guys some. You have provided me with much useful info and support Thanks! I too love animals, 4 dogs and 3 cats. I love the great outdoors, I am very practical and a giver. I love Jesus Christ, my family and friends and people in general. I am reserved to an extent and I too believe knowledge is power. When I am faced with a difficult task I will get all the info I can on the subject, then I feel ready to take it on. I am not an artist but love artistic things such as music, paintings, photos. I hope that everyone here gets as much out of this as I have.
    Robin
  • chenheart
    chenheart Member Posts: 5,159
    #13
    Who am I???? Well, my sister says I am Switzerland~ not neutral, but a Peace-maker. My 8th grade best friend ( and we are still in touch regularly) says I am the same person in 2008 as I was in 1963...always hoping that EVERYONE liked me!!!

    I am comfortable writing, and am generous to a fault; thought my secret inner self is sensitve when I feel ignored or slighted.

    I am NOT a telephone person! I don't mind making business calls and taking care of things with strangers, but I squirm when on the phone for more than 2 minutes with those I know. Including my CSN sisters. Can't explain that...it is just what it is. I have never even come close to using my minutes on my cell phone!

    I am shy, and for me, getting there is not half the fun~ but usually Being There is. If left up to me, would talk my way out of going to more functions than I talk myself into!

    If I had not been newly divorced and a newcomer to the town I moved to after said divorce, I probably would not have looked for any support site~ online or in person. But I saw a TV ad for the ACS chatroom, and thought, why not??? That was 2003, and I am still coming in!

    I love to read, and watch old black and white movies ( just watched Beau Geste starring Cary Cooper last night!) and I love being by myself AND knowing that I have a man in my life who thinks I am amazing! ( which I am)

    I love to cook, I love making food and going to the parks and taking homemade goodies to the homeless in the parks. I have done the Relay For Life for 6 years...but only with 2 or 3 people. I can't imagine being part of a group of 10, 20, or whatever!

    So...who am I? And do I fit the "profile" of those who come into chat or the boards? Being that I do, guess I am! :-)

    Hugs,
    Claudia

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