End of Life symptoms

judymike · January 2008

Can anyone tell me what are some of the "end of life" symptoms? Not sure what I should be looking out for in my husband, who's been battling this for 2.5 years, and seems to be deteriorating.

lfondots63 · January 2008

Hi,

I've been awol for a while on the board but I think that the best people to answer this is someone from a hospice program. Have you thought of contacting them? His oncologist should be able to put you in touch with someone. I also have a friend now that is a hospice nurse and might be able to put you in contact with a group in your area. If you want, e-mail me here. By the way, I'm a 2 yr survivor of stage 3 colon cancer as of Christmas this year. I hope someone can answer your questions since this is one of the toughest things. HUGS and please e-mail me if you need to.

Lisa F

changing · January 2008

So sorry. You shouldn't have to guess at this. Call your MD and he/she should tell you if he's ready for Hospice. Hospice usually means the MD thinks the client has 6 months or less ot live. If he is on Hospice then towards the end people tend to eat less, sleep more, become weak etc. Please be specific if you need more information. I'm praying for you both as I'm in a similar situation. My husband stopped chemo as he became too ill. That was 3 1/2 weeks ago and he's still struggling to get back on his feet again.

davidsonxx · January 2008

I strongly recommend hospice. We had hospice for both my mom and my sister. They were great. They help the patient and family both know what to expect. They also help everyone come to terms with what is happening. They will be a great support to you through a very difficult time.

For the end of life symptoms, as the disease the person will withdraw more and more from the outside world. They will lose interest in food and stop eating. They may hallucinate and talk about seeing or talking with people that have died. They will sleep more and become less responsive. Not everyone has all these symptoms. Different people pass through these in different time frames as well. The doctor or hospice should be able to give a lot more information. My prayers go out to you and your husband.

valeriec · January 2008

I can't agree enough with the others......call Hospice. My mom passed away in August from CC. First she was in palliative care, and then she was transitioned into hospice. Both of these programs were wonderful. Not only could they answer all of our questions, but also were able to help with things such as medication (towards the end, my mom's meds changed a lot.) Also, they supplied us with any equipment that we might have needed. Also, they were on call 24/7. That gave us a sense of peace. They really helped my family by taking the guessing away, and helped us to come to terms with what was happening. I am sorry you are having to go through this, and if you would like to talk, you could email me on this site. God bless you both-
Val

mindy10 · January 2008

valeriec said:
I can't agree enough with the others......call Hospice. My mom passed away in August from CC. First she was in palliative care, and then she was transitioned into hospice. Both of these programs were wonderful. Not only could they answer all of our questions, but also were able to help with things such as medication (towards the end, my mom's meds changed a lot.) Also, they supplied us with any equipment that we might have needed. Also, they were on call 24/7. That gave us a sense of peace. They really helped my family by taking the guessing away, and helped us to come to terms with what was happening. I am sorry you are having to go through this, and if you would like to talk, you could email me on this site. God bless you both-
Val

Hi I too wondered what to expect at end of life for my dad. Like many others said. He ate less and less everyday. He stayed in bed most of the time and slept all day. His urine turned red/orange and they said that meant his kidneys where shutting down. that was one of the first signs we saw. He got to the point he got so weak he could not get out of bed. He did hallucinate but im not sure if that was all the pain meds he was on. The last few days he only drank water and that was with help. Then the last day he had that rattle breathing and then he was not concious at all and passed on. Hospice is very good. They came three times a week and gave him a bath. The nurse came to check his blood pressure. It went down slowly. When it got real low she said he had 24 hours to live. I would talk to your dr if you have any concerns. Im sorry for what you have to go through i know how hard it is. Mindy

2bhealed · January 2008

Hi judy,

When my sister was dying she started filling up with fluid in her abdomen. She would look 9 months pregnant, go have it drained and then would start filling up again. She couldn't eat much so was drinking Ensure (which is full of cancer-feeding sugar-ugh!). She was interested in food but couldn't eat. She became more bedridden but loved having company. She worked from her bed. It kept her going. She also had a baby right before she died so she had something to keep her happy.

When I knew it was close to the end was when she started verbalizing that she couldn't take this much longer. Until then her fighting spirit was incredibly strong.

She never wanted hospice (we tried and she said no) so it fell on family and mostly her husband. At this point she was on a lot of painkillers. She eventually fell catatonic and was moved to the hospital where they stabalized her.

It was a long haul. Just when we thought she was on her "death bed" she would bounce back and want to be taken out shopping. Her behavior became somewhat erratic and she discovered home shopping. Things arrived for a long time after she died. Odd things. Weird things. Dulicates of odd weird things.

I have to say that what was hard for me to deal with was that after she died I was relieved. My life had been put on hold for so long and that anticipation of getting the "middle of the night call" was stressful. Watching her slowly fade away and get scary skinning, her hair fall out, age right before our eyes (she was only 33 but looked 80+ at death) was hard on everyone. So the relief of her passing onto her next life and out of this one was a guilt-producing feeling. We were happy she was out of her excrutiating pain because those last 4 months were tortuous. We could get down to the point of grieving her death finally. I don't share this easily. It was a horrible thing all around. 15 years later I still miss her a lot, but the pain eases.

I am sorry about your husband. I hope you find some joy and comfort together.

peace, emily

hopefulone · January 2008

I can't really add anything except to say will keep you both in my prayers . God Bless,

Diane

NWGirl · January 2008

First I want to express my deepest sympathy for what you are going through. I lost my father to colon cancer when I was 17 (I just turned 44). He passed away in a hospital setting.

A few years ago we lost a close friend to cancer (never did know where it originated). At the time my friend lived in Seattle and we lived in Phoenix. A year previously she met us in Portland to celebrate our 5th wedding anniversary and she appeared to be in good health. I got a call on a Wednesday night from her daughter letting me know she had 2 weeks to live. I was on a plane in 2 days and she passed away the day after we left. By the time I got there she was not conscious. She passed away at home with her family, friends and the assistance of a wonderful and caring hospice nurse.

I know this is a very sensitive subject and I don't mean to intrude, but I just want to mention how hard it was that my friend gave none of us in Phoenix (who didn't see her every day) any idea of how ill she was. This was her decision and I have always respected it. Now that I have cancer myself I can understand where she was coming from. I really debated as to whether to tell people who I know care about me, but don't see me every day. I decided to let them know. It was hard on me and hard on them, but this way, heaven forbid this beast takes me down, my friends won't be caught completely off guard.

I know we all have to deal with cancer issues in our own way and in a way we are comfortable with. I just wanted to offer my perspective on this aspect based on my own personal experience.

You and your family are in my prayers.

gabor · January 2008

I know this is a very overwhelming time for you and I'm sorry that you and your husband are going through this. When my parents passed from colon cancer they both began to sleep a lot and lost interest in food. As much as they had common symptoms they both had very different passings. I agree with the other posters to contact hospice. They will be very supportive. I'll keep you both in my prayers.
Linda

oneagleswings · January 2008

email me and I would be happy to help

End of Life symptoms

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