What do I do

wanda23
wanda23 Member Posts: 58
edited March 2014 in Colorectal Cancer #1
well they seem to have given up on my mom at the hospital,the doctor said that he has no more options, they took the NG tube (tube that goes in the nose and pumps the stomach) Remember my mom has a whole in her colon, so this helps to get rid of some of the poison that is going in her body.She has an IV on and they use to give her antibiotics by IV, but today they are giving it pill form, because they want to take the IV out. They are still given her saline and potassium chloride for now... but to me its like they are slowly getting rid of everything so my mom can die faster...... my mom has a pain patch that lasts for 3 days on (started that today) they still give her break through meds with it 4mls of dilahdas every 2 to 4 hours... what do I do????

Comments

  • cured
    cured Member Posts: 2
    #2
    Wanda,

    I would demand them to operate on your mother. I know it is a risk as you described, but it is more risk to go on like this. If they operate, she might survive and live, and if they don't operate she will not survive for sure. If they refuse, threaten them with the court.

    My prayers are you with you and your mother.
  • shmurciakova
    shmurciakova Member Posts: 906 Member
    #3
    Yeah, I thought she was going to have 30% chance to live if they did surgery? What happened to that option?
    -Susan
  • pink05
    pink05 Member Posts: 550
    #4
    Wanda,

    I would not allow them to give up on your mom. Sounds like she has a chance of survival with the surgery. I will be praying for the both of you.

    -Lee-
  • KathiM
    KathiM Member Posts: 8,028 Member
    #5
    Wanda

    I agree with the others....better to fight than to lay down when there's still a chance....SHAME on these guys!

    Many here have had a much worse chance on surgery than your mom, and pulled thru. I had an NG tube for almost a week....those things are NASTY!!! The DOCTORS don't even like to insert them....

    Now, dear sweet soul, the flip side of this. Understand that you need to say 'goodbye' to your mom before she goes into surgery. 30% chance, is, sadly, still a rather large number. But it's better than, as you say, 'slowly getting rid of everything....'....sigh....I HATE this stuff!

    I would threaten, and then, if necessary, go after them....or find another doctor willing to do surgery...

    Hugs, kathi
  • valeriec
    valeriec Member Posts: 348 Member
    #6
    Wanda,
    I agree with everyone else. What DID happen to the surgery with 30% chance? Those odds sound really good to me right now. I would DEMAND that they do something. Don't let them give up on your mom. She sounds like a fighter and could make it through surgery just fine. It has to be better then what they are doing.....Getting rid of things so she can die faster. Talk to your mom about the surgery. Stay possitive and let her know how much you love her. I will be sending lots of prayers your way.
    God bless-
    ValerieC
  • wanda23
    wanda23 Member Posts: 58
    #7
    valeriec said:

    Wanda,
    I agree with everyone else. What DID happen to the surgery with 30% chance? Those odds sound really good to me right now. I would DEMAND that they do something. Don't let them give up on your mom. She sounds like a fighter and could make it through surgery just fine. It has to be better then what they are doing.....Getting rid of things so she can die faster. Talk to your mom about the surgery. Stay possitive and let her know how much you love her. I will be sending lots of prayers your way.
    God bless-
    ValerieC

    I wish it was that easy for me to tell my mom to get surgery, but she is the one that is afraid of surgery, is saying no way to surgery, there was only one day out of the week and a half she wanted surgery and then turned around and changed her mind to no surgery and even know still no surgery, they are trying to get her up and about and said if the pain is under control and the antibiotics and other meds work in pill form and if she is drinking good she will go home next week. And that is where me and my 2 brothers with the help of God will tend to her....oh I dont know what to say...does anyone know of anyone who had this happen to them, perforation in colon and had no surgery?....what should my mom eat? just liquids?
  • cured
    cured Member Posts: 2
    #8
    wanda23 said:

    I wish it was that easy for me to tell my mom to get surgery, but she is the one that is afraid of surgery, is saying no way to surgery, there was only one day out of the week and a half she wanted surgery and then turned around and changed her mind to no surgery and even know still no surgery, they are trying to get her up and about and said if the pain is under control and the antibiotics and other meds work in pill form and if she is drinking good she will go home next week. And that is where me and my 2 brothers with the help of God will tend to her....oh I dont know what to say...does anyone know of anyone who had this happen to them, perforation in colon and had no surgery?....what should my mom eat? just liquids?

    Wanda,

    Couple of things you can do:

    1. You need to do your best to convice your mother to have a surgery - to fix the perforation and to remove the tumor. Tell her that she must do it for her children, beg, plea, etc. Tell her she will die if she does not have a surgery.

    2. It convincing does not work, you can go to court and try to get an order from the court (emergency conservatorship?) for the reason that your mother is not competent enough to realize what she is doing and will die without immediate medical attention.

    3. If she is quite lucid and sane and realizes very clearly that she will die without a surgery, then, I am sorry to say it to you, but you must respect her wishes. And then do not blame yourself - you have done everything you could. And pray....

    That is what I would do. I am sorry, you are in a very difficult situation. I will pray for you and your mother.
  • wanda23
    wanda23 Member Posts: 58
    #9
    cured said:

    Wanda,

    Couple of things you can do:

    1. You need to do your best to convice your mother to have a surgery - to fix the perforation and to remove the tumor. Tell her that she must do it for her children, beg, plea, etc. Tell her she will die if she does not have a surgery.

    2. It convincing does not work, you can go to court and try to get an order from the court (emergency conservatorship?) for the reason that your mother is not competent enough to realize what she is doing and will die without immediate medical attention.

    3. If she is quite lucid and sane and realizes very clearly that she will die without a surgery, then, I am sorry to say it to you, but you must respect her wishes. And then do not blame yourself - you have done everything you could. And pray....

    That is what I would do. I am sorry, you are in a very difficult situation. I will pray for you and your mother.

    Thanks all, they are sending my mom home over the weekend or monday, they took the saline off of her and now she is just eating broth and drinking very little 3 cups of liquids, if we are lucky a day, I will ask her if she wants the surgery again tonight, she is very swollen looking around the lower waist area and around the lower back...any advice on what I should give her to eat to help her strength.....

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