Time for ME

newboobs
newboobs Member Posts: 121
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
I need some help...how do we, as survivors, take true time for ourselves? I seem to run in cycles with this. I am great at relaxing and planning fun for myself and my husband, then we go for 2-3 months working non-stop. I need balance. After going thru the cancer battle, I get aggravated with myself that I continue to let life get in my way. Anyone else living this?

Thanks!!

Comments

  • Skybuf
    Skybuf Member Posts: 143
    #2
    Newboobs, LIFE you say, yes it gets in our way, Thank God for it!
    I know what you mean, we get so busy sometimes, I do the same, now selling store and moving our business back home, big undertaking, then more tests coming up tomorrow then Oncologist appointments again, then Christmas shopping comes round and the holidays, I say I'll be able to relax in January????? Who knows, I just try to live life the best I can WHILE I can....I guess we just have to MAKE that time for ourselves...I don't like a lot of 'down time' for ME, I try to surround myself with laughing fun loving gals, invite a friend over even to have a chit chat at night, don't do TV so need to keep occupied. Out tonight to a bible study.......I just keep on keeping on........:()
  • KathiM
    KathiM Member Posts: 8,028 Member
    #3
    Since my first diagnosis of rectal cancer in December, 2004 I have had:

    Second dx...breast cancer, treatment for that
    Beau's father died
    My ex-hubby died
    My daughter died
    My sister dx with anal cancer
    My mom broke her hip
    My beau had the third heart proceedure
    I am sueing the facility for the death of my daughter
    BUT.....
    I feel that I was 'given' the cancer to teach me to spend time on ME....I just look at it as if I don't relax, the beast will return....
    So, I laugh, I get massages, I watch funny movies, and I dance on bars....you know, for the first time in my life, I am on the top of my own list...without that, no one else on my list will get help....

    Hugs, Kathi
  • jackiemanz
    jackiemanz Member Posts: 85
    #4
    What is me time? I don't know what that is. I work Monday to Friday. Saturday I visit my 87yr old Aunt and my Parents. My Mother has Parkinsen's. So that leaves Sunday that day is left for my house work. Me time??
  • chenheart
    chenheart Member Posts: 5,159
    #5
    Gosh Karen.....your question made me wonder what made you even think of this. What would you be doing differently if you had NOT ever been dx with cancer? No doubt your days would still be filled and sometimes over-filled with the "stuff of life". Can it be that your survivorship has simply made you more aware of the uncertainly of it all, and has made you long to be just a bit hedonistic??

    I dare say that would be perfectly normal! Also normal is just being happy you came through this in grand style, have an amazing husband who walks the Survivor's Lap WITH you at the Relay, an amazing group of friends, both real and cyber~and that the times you do kick off your shoes and kick up your heels are more special just because of everything you have gone through!

    And can any of us truly expect more? Life didn't stop, New...and neither will you.
    Hugs,
    Claudia
  • KathiM
    KathiM Member Posts: 8,028 Member
    #6
    chenheart said:

    Gosh Karen.....your question made me wonder what made you even think of this. What would you be doing differently if you had NOT ever been dx with cancer? No doubt your days would still be filled and sometimes over-filled with the "stuff of life". Can it be that your survivorship has simply made you more aware of the uncertainly of it all, and has made you long to be just a bit hedonistic??

    I dare say that would be perfectly normal! Also normal is just being happy you came through this in grand style, have an amazing husband who walks the Survivor's Lap WITH you at the Relay, an amazing group of friends, both real and cyber~and that the times you do kick off your shoes and kick up your heels are more special just because of everything you have gone through!

    And can any of us truly expect more? Life didn't stop, New...and neither will you.
    Hugs,
    Claudia

    Good point, Claudia! I just ask myself that question...I WOULD be doing the same....but keeping me at the bottom of my list....

    Hugs, kathi
  • 3cbrca
    3cbrca Member Posts: 206
    #7
    KathiM said:

    Since my first diagnosis of rectal cancer in December, 2004 I have had:

    Second dx...breast cancer, treatment for that
    Beau's father died
    My ex-hubby died
    My daughter died
    My sister dx with anal cancer
    My mom broke her hip
    My beau had the third heart proceedure
    I am sueing the facility for the death of my daughter
    BUT.....
    I feel that I was 'given' the cancer to teach me to spend time on ME....I just look at it as if I don't relax, the beast will return....
    So, I laugh, I get massages, I watch funny movies, and I dance on bars....you know, for the first time in my life, I am on the top of my own list...without that, no one else on my list will get help....

    Hugs, Kathi

    Thank you Kathi. My life turned into a soap opera with my Colon cancer dx in October 2003 with a similiar list of tragedies, most of them occurning within this last year after my dx of breast cancer. A friend recommended the book "Living the Catostrophic Life". I declined - I'm already living it and don't think I need to read about it. I agree with your philosophy - just keep laughing! Its 4:00 am and I'm not sleeping - I have my four year colon cancer check-up in the morning!
    She
  • KathiM
    KathiM Member Posts: 8,028 Member
    #8
    3cbrca said:

    Thank you Kathi. My life turned into a soap opera with my Colon cancer dx in October 2003 with a similiar list of tragedies, most of them occurning within this last year after my dx of breast cancer. A friend recommended the book "Living the Catostrophic Life". I declined - I'm already living it and don't think I need to read about it. I agree with your philosophy - just keep laughing! Its 4:00 am and I'm not sleeping - I have my four year colon cancer check-up in the morning!
    She

    I'm sending great vibes to you!!!!

    PLEASE keep us posted!

    (Darn, maybe I SHOULD reschedule the colonoscopy that I cancelled back in August...lol)

    Hugs, Kathi
  • newboobs
    newboobs Member Posts: 121
    #9
    Skybuf said:

    Newboobs, LIFE you say, yes it gets in our way, Thank God for it!
    I know what you mean, we get so busy sometimes, I do the same, now selling store and moving our business back home, big undertaking, then more tests coming up tomorrow then Oncologist appointments again, then Christmas shopping comes round and the holidays, I say I'll be able to relax in January????? Who knows, I just try to live life the best I can WHILE I can....I guess we just have to MAKE that time for ourselves...I don't like a lot of 'down time' for ME, I try to surround myself with laughing fun loving gals, invite a friend over even to have a chit chat at night, don't do TV so need to keep occupied. Out tonight to a bible study.......I just keep on keeping on........:()

    Okay - had some ME time today! Spent the day with my hubby and made a new fall wreath for our front door...aren't you proud of me chen? LOL

    Sky- I also belong to a ladies' Bible study group which meets once per week. It's my fave time. Guess I need to schedule appointments in my calendar with ME!
  • kbc4869
    kbc4869 Member Posts: 159
    #10
    I hear ya. I haven't quite figured out myself. Life continues on a crazy course regardless of whether or not I'm tired or should be taking better care of myself. Between being the bread winner, taking care of an 18-month old, living through an extensive house remodeling, and being the accountant, housekeeper, and cook, I average about 5 to 6 hours of sleep a night. I look like and feel like "poop warmed over." I tell myself that this is all just a crazy phase and some day things will be more peaceful when the baby is older, when the house is finished, etc. etc., but who am I kidding? It was this way before cancer, during, and after. It's this way for most people I know. So, I just deal with it the best I can. As a famous person once said: I'll sleep when I'm dead!

    xoxo,
    Kim

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