reoccurence fear

susabella
susabella Member Posts: 46
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
How do you cope with the fear of the cancer returning? There seems to be lots of conflicting info. My doctors have told me that after my bilateral mastectomy, it's like only 1-2 percent likely, but research at the National Cancer Institute puts it more like 10-20 percent. My doctors told me it would come back as a lump near the original cancer site and would be operable, but the NCI states that out of the 10-20 percent that have a reoccurence, 80-85 percent have a distant mets. Are the doctors being kind and not trying to scare me, or what? I'd rather know the truth! Does it get easier to live with as you hit annual markers? I'll be a year out from my mastecomy in November, so I have a while to wait. The NCI also said the longer you go without a reoccurence, the better. How do you not stare at the calendar? Help!

Love, Sue

Comments

  • seof
    seof Member Posts: 819 Member
    #2
    I am still in treatment for the first occurrence, so I may not be the one to answer, but I'll give you my 2 cent's worth. First, cancer has a mind of its own and each survivor's story is unique. My Sister had a one-sided mastectomy with a recurrence in the other side within 9 months, then she survived 5 years longer than they said she would. A new treatment would get rid of the cancer in one place, just to have it show up again somewhere else. Her response was to be fiercely determined to live a well as possible as long as possible and to do all she could to learn and contribute to learning about cancer. I have a fear that my story will be like hers, though intellectually I know there is no logical reason to expect it (I have never heard 2 identical survivor stories).Drs. have learned a lot, and they are learning more every day. I guess what I'm trying to say is that there are no guarantees, and fear is normal, natural, and to be expected. We cannot let fear keep us from living and enjoying our lives.

    Take it day by day, and stay in touch with this site. seof
  • chenheart
    chenheart Member Posts: 5,159
    #3
    We all deal with the fear in different ways~ and I can say that yes, the longer we are cancer-free, the farther the fear is on the back burner. As for the conflicting stats you are hearing, my radiologist said to me: "Statistics don't count when our name is on them"...how true those words are! Notice how many postings there are on this site susabella, we are a large army of survivors and growing stronger every day!
    Take the best care of yourself that you can, talk with your doctor, ask questions when you have them, and surround yourself with those who have walked before you. We can give you our stories and share our strength with you. Please feel free to come in here as often as you want or need to. We will always be here to listen and to support you through this journey.
    :-)
    Claudia
  • Susan956
    Susan956 Member Posts: 510
    #4
    Sue,

    You are dealing with the same thing that all of us have dealt with... For me it has gotten better with time... I am now past 2 years... I know when I first finished treatment... It was like I was terrified not to see my Doctor every week. (I had weekly Herceptin Treatments for over 6 months)... so to be told that I would see the Doctor next in 3 months was scary... but now everytime I have one of my Doctors gives me the next appt in 6 months... I go YIPEEE... For me this site let's me kind of dumb my fear each time I come here... and then get on with life...

    Take care... God Bless.....

    It will get better...

    Susan : )
  • Unknown
    Unknown
    #5
    We all understand....believe me.
    I am a 21 year breast cancer survivor.....and I won't lie...I STILL think about reoccurence every time I get a 'toe ache'. However, I no longer dwell on it or let the fear ruin the rest of my life. It is just something you get better with as you practice more.
    Find as many pleasant things to fill your days as possible and the positiveness you create in your life will overcome the fear.
  • 24242
    24242 Member Posts: 1,398 Member
    #6
    Hi Sue,
    Fear is common and have found over the last 7 years if survival of stage 3 breast cancer with 11 out of 21 positive nodes. Statistics should be though of numbers that can be beaten. Everyone is very different and though the risk factors go up it is amazing what some people have survived. I have found that I want to know all there is because knowledge is power.
    I too have found that taking better care of me and doing all I can to help myself have given more hope than I thought I could ever have. Letting go of the things I have no control over and taking control of the things I can has helped to change the face of the life I am left with. Had I listened to medical community I would be far less of a person than I was before my diagnosis and likely could never hold a full time job or do physical work. I today, am in better shape than I have been in most of my life though I considered myself an athlete. I work harder than I ever have and know now the limits I must make for myself. One thing that is for sure gratitude has given me a life I never had before because it is truly life altering.
    Life goes on whether we are on the train of life or not. I say jump on and face your fears but do it anyways. There is a book with that name, "Face your fears. Do it Anyway." The experiences in my life though good and bad truly make me who I am today and that is a good thing. Thank goodness I have never been attached to NORMAL. What is that anyways I ask you??
    Be good to yourself always,
    Treating yourself like you would, your own very best friend,
    Tara
  • Survivor613
    Survivor613 Member Posts: 5
    #7
    I am a 13 year breast cancer survivor. Now 13 years later I have non hodgkins lymphoma. My motto is" Life is short, eat dessert first". In other words live for today, enjoy every moment. The fear of recurrence never really goes away. But I try to put it in the back of my mind. I find that going to a support group puts things in perspective for me. I enjoy life with my supportive husband and family and friends. I try not to think of what tomorrow will bring. One never knows what can happen. I don't want to sound harsh, but walking across the street can be dangerous. The entire cancer experience has made me more aware of what life has to offer and I want to take advantage of every precious moment.

    TIME is a great healer. LIVE every moment to the fullest. Positive attitude is important. WE ALL WILL SURVIVE. We are WOMEN and we can SURVIVE anything that life puts in front of us.
  • gailygail
    gailygail Member Posts: 3
    #8
    Susan956 said:

    Sue,

    You are dealing with the same thing that all of us have dealt with... For me it has gotten better with time... I am now past 2 years... I know when I first finished treatment... It was like I was terrified not to see my Doctor every week. (I had weekly Herceptin Treatments for over 6 months)... so to be told that I would see the Doctor next in 3 months was scary... but now everytime I have one of my Doctors gives me the next appt in 6 months... I go YIPEEE... For me this site let's me kind of dumb my fear each time I come here... and then get on with life...

    Take care... God Bless.....

    It will get better...

    Susan : )

    Susan, I'm in remission one year hodgkins lymphoma. I just had a follow up mammo to see if the nodule on my left brest had gotten larger, it hasnt, thank goodness. I had a huge meltdown that night, lots of crying and over the top anxiety. I am able to back off the anxiety now and live life one day at a time as I have been doing. I like that you dumb down the fear with each 6-month check. Thanx for that. Sending blessings your way. Gailygail in California

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