SMOKING Hot Topic!!!!!

chenheart
chenheart Member Posts: 5,159
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
I have teenage family members who smoke, and I am having a difficult time reconciling my cancer battle emotions ( and the battles of my CSN Family) while watching those I love, Smoke! Have any of you dealt with these feelings? Do you have any suggestions to help me convince a young person NOT to smoke? Or at least help me not to feel so emotionally involved? Watching someone I love sneak off for a "Smoke Break" during the Relay For Life is so disheartening to me~HELP!

Comments

  • coug90
    coug90 Member Posts: 59
    #2
    I have so many friends and relatives who smoke - you're right it is disheartening. I usually end up giving them a light nudge and jibe about smoking causing cancer. Unfortunately I have found that nothing I say or do can stop any of them from continuing their habit. They will wholeheartedly agree with me that it's bad; but they are unwilling to even try to stop. It is frustrating but I figure in as much as I had the right to choose my own treatment, they do have the right to choose to smoke. The only thing I can do is not make it easy to do it around me.
  • pansylover
    pansylover Member Posts: 80
    #3
    beacause i am so skeptical about 'catching' more cancer cells..when loved ones or people lite up..i walk away..leave...
  • Susan956
    Susan956 Member Posts: 510
    #4
    I am lucky not to have any family members who smoke, but I have a beloved boss who smokes and another friend who has already lost one lung to cancer... I admit that when I just got back from Chemo... I just wanted to tell every one to stop smoking... but I guess that it is such and addiction that it is not possible for them... Where I work everyone who smokes has to leave the building and either stand outside when it is hot or raining to smoke... but they do.... I wish they would quit... but I have finally accepted that it is not something that I can change... whether I agree or not.....

    Take Care... God Bless....

    Susan
  • cabbott
    cabbott Member Posts: 1,039 Member
    #5
    I know I was lucky to have been raised in a house where no one smoked, but I have friends and distant family that do. Some have quit, others have tried, and some don't care to even think about it. Those that have tried and succeeded have told me that it was definately the most difficult thing they ever did. One had been in the military in Vietnam and taught emotionally disturbed and learning disabled kids for years. Quitting the tobacco habit was harder by far. Kids start for a myriad of reasons: to feel grown up, to rebel against authority, to satisfy curiousity, to fit in. Then they get hooked and can't quit even if they want to. Higher prices and limits on smoking areas have discouraged teenage smoking in my state, but it still is way too prevalent. As an educator, I've found many things that don't work well to prevent all kids from smoking. While I'm the type that figured if a grownup said it was bad I should stay far away from it, many kids gravitate to cigarettes when told to avoid them. Now I show young kids (6-11) real photographs of black lungs vs. healthy ones, emphysema and cancer, messed up veins and arteries (all from smoking of course). Then I tell them I care about them but it is absolutely their choice. I never say "Don't" anymore. Too many took that as a challenge and went out and got hooked. Some kids now will still smoke, but they know the facts and that it will be absolutely their choice and they know I care. I provide information for those who want to quit and I insist no one smoke in my house or around me. My kid has asthma and I have lung cancer and breast cancer without being exposed to smoke. I don't want to make it worse! The thing I tell the kids I work with if they have someone who smokes is this: tell your loved one you love them and hope they will take good care of themselves. If they won't quit, maybe they could cut back. If not, maybe they could at least plan to see the doctor yearly to keep an eye on things. They can ask that the person not smoke in the house or around them. Kids of course can't demand that, but you can. You can't make anyone quit such an addicting drug, but you can love them, ask them to take care of themselves, and not smoke around you. And remember, it is their choice, not yours.
  • seof
    seof Member Posts: 819 Member
    #6
    I am glad to say my husband stopped smoking before I met him, or I would not have married him. I was raised in a non-smoking home and don't like the smell. However, my Mother-in-law smoked like a chimney and her house (and my clothes after visiting in her house even for a short time) smelled like and ashtray. My 2 sisters-in-law smoked as well. We made it clear when we married that smoking would not be tolerated inside our home. I am happy to sit on the porch and talk while a guest is smoking, but I will not put up with the smell in my home after guest is gone. My mother-in-law died with pneumonia which was aggrivated by smoking, and my children have grown up with a clear understanding uf the dangers of smoking, so I hope and pray that they will not develop the habit. It is a lot easier to never start than it is to quit. I agree with all of you that, if you tell children no, they may do it just to spite you. If you tell adults to quit, they will resent you. All you can do is do your best to let people know you are concerned for their health because you care and want them to be well, but they must each make their own choices. Provide information when it is appropriate and offer support, whether they quit or not. I also agree that it is OK to insist that they honor your wishes and show that they care about your health when they are in your home, car, or other space that is 'yours'. Beyond that you there's not a lot you can do. As far as dealing with the frustration...I try to compare it to myself...I am overweight anc continue to eat too much and excersize too little, though I am aware of the health risks involved in that. My Mom continues to provide me with information related to such health risks and she makes sure she prepares healthy food when I come to her house. Yet she makes her love undeniably clear, and she eats whatever I fix when she comes to my house and expresses gratitude for it. She lets me know she disagrees with my lifestyle because she cares, yet she still makes it clear she cares about me as a person in other aspects of my relationship. She is very concerned and supportive in the area of breast cancer. I appreciate her letting me make my own choices, even when I know she disagrees...I have to do the same with smokers...even those who keep smoking when they are having life-threatening consequences.

    For what it's worth, seof
  • chenheart
    chenheart Member Posts: 5,159
    #7
    Thanks to all of you for your thought-provoking responses to the topic of smoking...I do appreciate it! I am not sure that I will be able to institute a "live and let live" attitude regarding smokers ( especially the teenage smokers)~but again, you have given me food for thought. I suppose I will continue to show my concern and dislike of smoking!!! Hopefully I will be able to temper it so that they know it is a health issue, and not a personal attack. Thanks again~I knew I could count on you!
    Chenheart
  • pmillr2000
    pmillr2000 Member Posts: 26
    #8
    Tamoxifen and joint pain
    Have any of you had any experience with this? I have had unusual pain in my knees for about a month. I had not heard or read that joint pain was a possible side effect of tamoxifen until yesterday.
  • pmillr2000
    pmillr2000 Member Posts: 26
    #9
    pmillr2000 said:

    Tamoxifen and joint pain
    Have any of you had any experience with this? I have had unusual pain in my knees for about a month. I had not heard or read that joint pain was a possible side effect of tamoxifen until yesterday.

    I apologize for this post. It was supposed to be a new topic, not a reply to this topic. Please disregard, as it will not let me delete it.

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