Body Image

newboobs
newboobs Member Posts: 121
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
I am almost 6 years out from diagnosis, and am doing great. But somedays it's weird to look in the mirror. I had implant reconstruction and am very happy with it, but I'm very self- conscious with all the new low V neck tops that are in fashion. I work with a guy who is always looking at my chest when I'm talking to him (he knows I'm a survivor). I just want to say, "Would you like to see it?" LOL -- how funny would that be?

Does anyone else have the weird DoubleTake in the mirror like I do somedays? It's interesting how cancer can make you so acutely aware of your body.

New

Comments

  • cabbott
    cabbott Member Posts: 1,039 Member
    #2
    Someone in my office had implants done. She wasn't a survivor--she just wanted the surgery. She was so proud of her new "set" that she filled us all in on the procedures and allowed a free peek to all interested parties. (Eyes only, of course; her husband insisted on hands off!) I know we all worry about body image from time to time, but sometimes we could quit worrying if we knew what other people were really thinking. I told my friend, who knew I was a survivor, that I appreciated her sharing with me her story of reconstruction since I might consider doing it someday(I have a right mastectomy and wear a prosthesis). She immediately did a double-take and exclaimed that she thought I already had! So be careful what you suggest to this guy. He might be interested in more than you think!
  • babs49242
    babs49242 Member Posts: 193
    #3
    That really bugs me when MEN talk to your chest instead of your face! I sometimes bend done and smile/talk UP to their faces...or I do what they do...talk to their manhood instead of their face!
    Coming from a strick office enviroment..the look would be considered sexual harassment..esp if it makes you uncomfortable!
    I applaud you for the reconstruction surgery...all the horror stories I've heard and seen the not so fortunate..it isn't for me...lol I'm proud to be a lopsided unicorn!
    At least w/ the low V-necks your prosthesis does not 'peek/ pop' out or fall out or when you bend over there is not a GAP between the bra and the real you. hahahahaha
    Have a wonderful weekend and weeks ahead.
    I think it is great that we can come here and write about events in our lives.
    bunches of hugs
    Babs
  • KathiM
    KathiM Member Posts: 8,028 Member
    #4
    I laugh about it. I cannot TELL you the times that this has happened (lumpectomy only was my deal..)

    "I'm a double cancer survivor. Colorectal. Followed 6 months later by breast." At THIS point, the eyes snap directly onto my bosom....
    Funny, they didn't look at my bottom when I said 'colorectal'!!!!
    Some brave souls actually will say, after snapping eyes, "Well, but, you still HAVE them"....I just stick them out farther, strike a pose, and say "Yup, and aren't they a GREAT pair!!!"

    (Remember, I'm know for my naked happy dance...would you have expected any LESS???)

    Hugs, Kathi
  • babs49242
    babs49242 Member Posts: 193
    #5
    KathiM said:

    I laugh about it. I cannot TELL you the times that this has happened (lumpectomy only was my deal..)

    "I'm a double cancer survivor. Colorectal. Followed 6 months later by breast." At THIS point, the eyes snap directly onto my bosom....
    Funny, they didn't look at my bottom when I said 'colorectal'!!!!
    Some brave souls actually will say, after snapping eyes, "Well, but, you still HAVE them"....I just stick them out farther, strike a pose, and say "Yup, and aren't they a GREAT pair!!!"

    (Remember, I'm know for my naked happy dance...would you have expected any LESS???)

    Hugs, Kathi

    No LESS from the HAPPY NAKED DANCER!!!!
    too funny

    Babs
  • chenheart
    chenheart Member Posts: 5,159
    #6
    I did not have any reconstruction, and 4.5 years out , most of the time I forget I have "imperfect" breasts. The odd thing for me is, I didn't get a nice, small straight scar where my port was. Oh No~ my upper chest, under my collar bone, looks as if a giant took his thumb, pressed hard, and my skin stayed permanently indented!! It is very noticeable~ in practically everything I wear. So, I notice men and women alike stealing a glance at my port-indentation, and not of course asking what in the world it is from! Sometimes I wonder what they are imagining! First my port got stared at because , well, it was a port, and visible under my skin. Now I get stared at because the port is missing!! LOL
    Body Image Indeed, Newboobs! I wonder if the men among us (post- BC or any other cancer) are plagued with the same image problems as we women seem to be....
  • babs49242
    babs49242 Member Posts: 193
    #7
    chenheart said:

    I did not have any reconstruction, and 4.5 years out , most of the time I forget I have "imperfect" breasts. The odd thing for me is, I didn't get a nice, small straight scar where my port was. Oh No~ my upper chest, under my collar bone, looks as if a giant took his thumb, pressed hard, and my skin stayed permanently indented!! It is very noticeable~ in practically everything I wear. So, I notice men and women alike stealing a glance at my port-indentation, and not of course asking what in the world it is from! Sometimes I wonder what they are imagining! First my port got stared at because , well, it was a port, and visible under my skin. Now I get stared at because the port is missing!! LOL
    Body Image Indeed, Newboobs! I wonder if the men among us (post- BC or any other cancer) are plagued with the same image problems as we women seem to be....

    what repply do u give when asked?
    I say" it's my COURAGE' scar." courage to fight the beast,courage to have taken chemo,courage be given rads,courage to overcome the unusal interruptions, the courage to LIVE LIVE LIVE...lol

    Babs
  • Unknown
    Unknown
    #8
    Hi new.
    As you know, I did not do the recon thing and I am happy with my choice too. But, yeah, I still pass a bathroom mirrow every now and then and find myself wondering........who the heck is THAT? lol I guess it's a 'survivor' thing.
    As for that guy at work...close your eyes next time you talk to him and make him tell you what color they are. That should get your point across! Hugs.
  • Kitty3571
    Kitty3571 Member Posts: 48
    #9
    I also look in the mirror and wonder "who the hell is that"? With my hair still trying to grow back and in it's goofy can't-do-anything-with-it stage, the 20 lbs of extra weight since diagnosis (1-1/2 yrs out) not to mention the difference in breast size (lumpectomy only) It's hard to tell sometimes with clothing on but naked, you can definetly tell that the beast has taken a bite! My other concern like Chenheart's situation is that I'm having my port removed in two weeks - I hope it doesn't leave a huge imprint - Is it a relatively simple procedure to have it removed like it was to put it in? Also, do the aches & pains EVER stop??? Thanks for listening - Kitty
  • pmillr2000
    pmillr2000 Member Posts: 26
    #10
    Well, I don't have port scars to deal with, but my reconstruction (implant) is AWFUL! It's being re-done next month, but in the meantime, it looks bad in my clothes, and HORRIBLE out of them. But I'm OK, I'm alive and cancer free! And yes, if I wear anything even slightly low cut, my mastectomy scar peeks out. I don't mind, I'm gonna get it tattooed for my 50th birthday anyway!
  • chenheart
    chenheart Member Posts: 5,159
    #11
    Kitty3571 said:

    I also look in the mirror and wonder "who the hell is that"? With my hair still trying to grow back and in it's goofy can't-do-anything-with-it stage, the 20 lbs of extra weight since diagnosis (1-1/2 yrs out) not to mention the difference in breast size (lumpectomy only) It's hard to tell sometimes with clothing on but naked, you can definetly tell that the beast has taken a bite! My other concern like Chenheart's situation is that I'm having my port removed in two weeks - I hope it doesn't leave a huge imprint - Is it a relatively simple procedure to have it removed like it was to put it in? Also, do the aches & pains EVER stop??? Thanks for listening - Kitty

    Kitty~
    I feel confident that your port removal will result in a tiny straight scar, with NO indentation. I am an anomaly for some reason when it comes to even "minor" surgical procedures. Putting the port IN took over 2 HOURS and I had to be completely sedated for it! Turns out my anatomy is "off" by undetectable millimeters, and that really did make it a big deal when the surgeon was threading the port in. She is as surprised as I am about the post-port dent~she has never seen one either. So, you will be just fine!

    As for the aches and pains, YES! They will actually leave! Slowly yet surely! You know the sensation when you bite your tongue and then you keep playing with the irritation? And not only is it sore, but how huge it seems? And then, all of a sudden, the irritation is gone? That's how our body aches and pains are as well~one day you will realize that Hey! My ankles don't ache anymore~when did that happen???

    The 20 extra pounds? I have them too, much to the dismay of my Onco Doc. I am physically active and eat healthily, but the weight seems to like me. GRRRR! Oh well; hopefully it is a small price to pay for all of the cancer indignities! Keep Smiling, Kitty!
    Chenheart
  • seof
    seof Member Posts: 819 Member
    #12
    I was diagnosed with breast cancer in May 2007. I am one of the fortunate few who have minimal side effects, yet the tumor is already down by half its original size. I have never thought of myself as one who was preoccupied with my appearance, but 2 of the main items I seem to spend a lot of time thinking about are whether to wear a wig or not and whether to get reconstruction after surgery or not. the latter decision does not have to be made for a while...chemo treatments will continue at least till the end of August, then we will re-eval everything and decide if surgery will be done then, or after another 6 months of chemo. I have a port and a relativele tidy scar that only shows when I'm naked or in tank tops. My hairloss has been slow, but it is becoming inescapable now. I have descovered that I like hats and look good in many of them (I have never worn them in the past). My main issue is when I go back to work. I work in a public school and the new dress code says no headgear indoors for students or teachers. I think administration would make an exception, but if I am either bald or the only teacher allowed to break the dress code, I am sure to be asked questions by teachers and students alike. A wig would allow me to be in control of when and where I have to answer questions. It is does surprise me how much time I spend in front of the mirror now. As far as the guy staring at you inappropriately, I think he is very rude and inconsiderate. I don't know if it would help, and you might have already tried it, but you might try just telling him straight out that you consider his behavior rude, and unprofissional and it makes you uncomfortable. Since the two of you work together, you would prefer it if he could maintain eye-contact when you are talking because it would help you to know that he is focusing on work-related issues.

    For what it's worth, seof
  • jojod831
    jojod831 Member Posts: 1
    #13
    chenheart said:

    I did not have any reconstruction, and 4.5 years out , most of the time I forget I have "imperfect" breasts. The odd thing for me is, I didn't get a nice, small straight scar where my port was. Oh No~ my upper chest, under my collar bone, looks as if a giant took his thumb, pressed hard, and my skin stayed permanently indented!! It is very noticeable~ in practically everything I wear. So, I notice men and women alike stealing a glance at my port-indentation, and not of course asking what in the world it is from! Sometimes I wonder what they are imagining! First my port got stared at because , well, it was a port, and visible under my skin. Now I get stared at because the port is missing!! LOL
    Body Image Indeed, Newboobs! I wonder if the men among us (post- BC or any other cancer) are plagued with the same image problems as we women seem to be....

    i've had left breast removed dure to precancerous cells(cancer runs in family) I had reconstructive surgery on left breast and small implant in right to make them look the same plus uplift. To me they do not look the same seems right is larger and left is very wide around but doctor says that everything is ok but this was only done 2 weeks ago so i'm hoping it means i just have to wait and see what happens when all is healed.

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