Ho ho ho - the Christmas Giggles

JADot
JADot Member Posts: 709 Member
edited March 2014 in Colorectal Cancer #1
Hi All:

Here's wishing you a Merry (Please circle one: Christmas, Kwanzaa, Eid al-Adha, Hanukkah, Winter Solstice, or Bah Humbug) and a Happy New Year filled with peace, love, hope, laughter, clear scans, rising WBC counts, dropping CEA counts and many NED naked dances!

I also want to add that I will also be celebrating my 1st anniversary as a born-again semi-colon :) Tis was the day after Christmas last year when I heard that dreaded word. But hey, here I am, happy, healthy, and blonde (read chemo-brained) a year later, celebrating life and friendship with all you fabulous guys and gals! Life is just grand and worth every bit of pain and suffering we go through to fight for it.

So, keep the faith, keep fighting, and keep laughing!

Bear hugs from me!
Ying

================

Santa's Jokes

Question: What's red and white and gives presents to good little fish on Christmas?
Answer: Sandy Claws.

Question: Why does Santa have 3 gardens?
So he can ho-ho-ho.

Question: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Answer: Frostbite.

Question: Why was Santa's little helper depressed?
Because he had low elf esteem.

Question: What do you get when you cross an archer with a gift-wrapper?
Answer: Ribbon hood.

Question: What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus?
Answer: Claustrophobic.

Question: What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
Answer: Snowflakes.

Question: Why did the little girl change her mind about buying her grandmother a packet od handkerchiefs for Christmas?
Answer: She said "I could not work out what size her nose was!

Question: What was so good about he neurotic doll the girl was given for Christmas?
Answer: It was wound up already.

Question: What was wrong with the boy's brand new toy electric train set he received for Christmas?
Answer: Forty feet of track - all straight!

Christmas: When you exchange hellos with strangers and good buys with friends.

Christmas is the time when people put so many bulbs on the outside of their houses, you don't know if they're celebrating the birth of Jesus or General Electric.

Every Christmas pageant throughout the world has a scene showing Joseph leading Mary into Bethlehem on a donkey. Do you realize what would happen if the Republicans asked for equal time?

Comments

  • kerry
    kerry Member Posts: 1,313 Member
    #2
    Ying,

    THANKS!!! Tee hee! As always, a great weekend starter.

    Wishing you the happiest of holidays!!

    Love,

    Kerry
  • goldfinch
    goldfinch Member Posts: 735
    #3
    Merry Christmas to you too!
    Mary
  • Russell05
    Russell05 Member Posts: 60
    #4
    Happy Holidays to you too. Thanks I needed the lift. :)

    Hugs, Russell
  • KathiM
    KathiM Member Posts: 8,028 Member
    #5
    Thanks, Ying....need the lift! I THINK I have ex-hubby's stuff under control long enough to STILL go to Holland on Monday. I remember asking Why I was saved....I am CERTAIN that this was part of it...

    Hugs, Kathi
  • JADot
    JADot Member Posts: 709 Member
    #6
    KathiM said:

    Thanks, Ying....need the lift! I THINK I have ex-hubby's stuff under control long enough to STILL go to Holland on Monday. I remember asking Why I was saved....I am CERTAIN that this was part of it...

    Hugs, Kathi

    Kathi:

    How cool!!! When you're in Amsterdam, go to the Rijksmuseum and look for a paining with a man's butt in the window. A Dutch lady I met at the museum pointed it out and said it's a tradition for Dutch kids to look for this while in the museum. So now I am pass on the tradition! Have a great trip. I love Holland!
  • KathiM
    KathiM Member Posts: 8,028 Member
    #7
    JADot said:

    Kathi:

    How cool!!! When you're in Amsterdam, go to the Rijksmuseum and look for a paining with a man's butt in the window. A Dutch lady I met at the museum pointed it out and said it's a tradition for Dutch kids to look for this while in the museum. So now I am pass on the tradition! Have a great trip. I love Holland!

    He He He....probably in an Averkamp painting...he also put peeing dogs, people in, ahem, interesting hugging positions...I will be in Amsterdam...and I will think of you!

    Hugs, Kathi
  • Kanort
    Kanort Member Posts: 1,272 Member
    #8
    As always, Ying, thanks for the giggles. I would love to visit with you when you are in Austin as well.

    Merry Christmas and Happy Aniversary!

    Hugs,

    Kay

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