Somebody tell me....

I can't even imagine what you must be going through right now. There is nothing that will take the pain away but I believe time may lessen it.
There was a poem that MINDY10 posted a little while back that I just found and posted below for you to read.
Take care and stay strong,
Sue

I stood by your bed last night,I came to have a peep. I could see that you were crying. You found it hard to sleep. I whispered to you softly as you brushed away a tear, It's me, I haven't left you, Im well, Im fine, Im here." I was close to you at breakfast, I watched you pour the tea,. You were thinking of the many times your hands reached out to me. I was with you at the shops today. Your arms were getting sore. I longed to take your pacels, i wish I could do more. I was with you at my grave today, You tend it with such care. I want to re-assure you, that Im not lying there. I walked with you towards the house, as you fumbled for your key. I gently put my hand on you, I smiled and said its me." You looked so very tired, and sank into a chair. I tried so hard to let you know, that I was standing there. Its possible for me to be so near you everyday. To say to you with certainty, I never went away. You sat there very quietly, then smiled, I think you knew... in the stillness of that evening, I was very close to you. The day is over.. I smile and watch you yawning and say "Good-night, God bless, I'll see you in the morning light". And when the time is right for you to cross the brief divide, I'll rush across to greet you and we will stand, side by side. I have so many things to show you, there is so much for you to see. Be patient, live your journey out... then come home to be with me.

Today is my dad's birthday; he passed away nearly 6 years ago from recurrent colon cancer and mets, on Dec 27th, his 58th wedding anniversary.
I still miss him, but I can't imagine how hard it was and is for my mom. She often says that it is a terrible price to pay for 58 good years, but she lets her mind fly to the good times.
I hope you have many good memories to sustain you until you find some lessening of the pain. Judy

spongebob said:

pepper -

I can't tell you how to get through your loss. There are several others here who have endured the same. Hopefully they will have words of wisdom for you.

I wish you only peace and pray that you will get through this. Know that we are your friends and we are all here for you.

- Sponge

Pepper. I guess we all have suffered by losing someone close to us but to lose a husband or wife is something I personally would not know how to deal with. If I lost my dear Jen I too would be devestated.I am fortunate she is still with me and so...no...I don't know how you feel.Several others here have lost their partners and hopefully they will respond to your call.
I have met 2 of them and am full of admiration for their strength.Hold on to your memories Pepper.
Huggs, Ross n Jen

Hi, My name is Candice and I was my husbands caregiver. He died 4/15/06 with me holding him and telling him that I loved him more than I ever thought possible. We knew he was going to die from colon/rectal cancer but we never prepaired outselves for it. We had a daughter that was killed in 91 at the age of 15. He kept me alive then for I tried to leave and be with her. Now I have to stay alive on my on. Every night I cry every night. There is not a day going by that tears are not shed and I don't sleep much and my blood presure is way to high and I pray for him to talk to me I sit at their graves then I go home and have to hide my tears cause we have a 13yr old son that also misses his father and I know my husband would want me to help him. They say the pain gets easyer over time but it doesn't you just learn to hold it in more. We were married over 30 years, I'm 51 and I will live the rest of my live dreaming of him and the time we had together. My husbands brother was murdered the same year my husband found out he had cancer, his sisters keep saying poor "p" she has to relive it every time the trail comes up. Well guess what I lived my husbands death for 23 months before he even died and then I held him as he toke his last breath and I was the one who had to say enough was enough and to let him go. Death is horrible but I know you and I will get through it day by day month by month and year by year it will be hard and the first of each event is hard. I wish you the best during this terrible holiday season, I say ba hum bug lets skip it this year.

My heart aches for you..and aI know no words will make the pain go away...allow yourself to grieve and try to just take it one day at a time...
Take care of yourself
Bev

My dear, sweet soul. I went to a seminar the other night on grief. I picked up an extra copy of everything. If you want, e-mail me here with your 'snail mail' address....I will send it to you.
My arms are tight around you, holding you steady.

Hugs, Kathi