Wow - let's all be nice

Betsydoglover
Betsydoglover Member Posts: 1,248 Member
edited March 2014 in Colorectal Cancer #1
Hi all -

I think there is a "Communications" thesis topic in here somewhere regarding the latest chemo debate. I'm pretty sure we are all nice people and we sure all have a common enemy. Things are getting a tad out of hand, however, - which is so easy to do with electronic media.

I don't think there is any point in debating chemo vs not. Clearly chemo works for many people, clearly it causes some to have worse than typical side effects and clearly there are alternatives that may also be effective for some people. Stacy's post may have rattled some cages, but she was suggesting that you consider all the aspects of the chemo question before you make your decision. Wise advice. For me, chemo was the right decision - I am living proof. I completely understand that it is not the right decision for everyone. But it is also not the wrong decision for everyone either. And you did need to listen to your body, but you also need to have a talk between your body and your mind and make sure it is really your body talking and not just your mind.

We are all here to support each other and some of that is supporting the decision each individual makes. People have died from chemo (that is hideous, scary and very, very sad). People have also lived because of chemo (and that is wonderful and very, very happy).

I keep thinking back to June 2005 when I first started "lurking" this board. I found so much positive energy, so much information, so much hope - so finally I joined. I am wondering what the potential "newbies" out there (and we all know they are out there) are thinking about this little "debate". I think it might have scared me off. So, not to suggest that we should repress our feelings or anything, but even if we think we can intellectually "abuse" one another (I am overstating it, I know), we should also remember that, unfortunately, there are waves more of us to come. They need our support and we don't want to scare them off.

Just something to think about.

Betsy

Comments

  • StacyGleaso
    StacyGleaso Member Posts: 1,233 Member
    #2
    Well put, Betsy. I wasn't trying to rile up everyone, just keep their minds open to every option. Just like you, I do not believe one side is superior to the other. I just worry when one side bashes the other, with no right whatsoever to do so.

    Hugs,

    Stacy
  • scouty
    scouty Member Posts: 1,965 Member
    #3
    The positive energy is not going anywhere because we WILL NOT allow that to happen. A few drama kings and queens will not effect how we continue to help each other. If you don't like what someone says or how they say it, send them an email, don't post your judgemental opinions. This is a cancer survivor discussion board and should be treated as such.

    Lisa P.
  • vinny3
    vinny3 Member Posts: 928 Member
    #4
    scouty said:

    The positive energy is not going anywhere because we WILL NOT allow that to happen. A few drama kings and queens will not effect how we continue to help each other. If you don't like what someone says or how they say it, send them an email, don't post your judgemental opinions. This is a cancer survivor discussion board and should be treated as such.

    Lisa P.

    Well said. Let's end this discussion and return to our main task- support of others. We want everyone to feel welcome here and to help them to reach a decision they are comfortable with.

    ****
  • shmurciakova
    shmurciakova Member Posts: 906 Member
    #5
    Wow! I missed all of that, but I just re-read to catch myself up on what all went down. It seems like some folks have over reacted, to say the least. I don't know if you all remember (actually, I am sure you do), but one of my posts was taken out of context when I said something to someone who subsequently passed away to the effect of "bucking up". It was blown way out of proportion and this person was going to quit the boards because of it. I may have worded it incorrectly. I have been known to rub people the wrong way (daily - LOL). My point is that I don't think LOUSWIFT meant anything by what he said. If he thinks alternative treatments are "voodoo" or whatever, then so be it. Too bad for him. Personally I don't think chemo did anything to benefit me, but hell, maybe it did something at least. At any rate, he is entitiled to his opinion and I really don't think any of this was directed at Elenora. Too bad she feels that way. If you read this Elenora, please do not leave on account of this, I am sure your input has helped many people over the months.
    I just hate it when things get ugly. Luckily it does not happen on this forum very often!
    Cheers,
    Susan (who is not afraid to tell it like it is!!!)
  • levensweg
    levensweg Member Posts: 55
    #6
    Betsy,
    Im an amatuer newbie/lurker. I don't have a problem with hearing people's strong opinions and feelings. I am very glad to hear them. For LLLady, I think she was making a statement about Duey followed by her thanking this great community. I dont think she was aking for anyones opinion. I cant help but think that LLLady's post was an ackward place to launch such a difficult opninion poll. My heart goes out to her and Duey.

    Still, these things I feel must be discussed somewhere, somehow. There must be a thoughtful and convenient way to do this somewhere on this site. If one cannot share and express the immense fear, sublime awakanings, anger bigger than mountains, immense joy and so on here, then where? What would really scare me off this site is if everyone were afraid to debate anything at all.

    As a thirty four year old, stage four survivor ned for one year now, I have decided that the most profound thing I can possibly do is be happy. That's what I think we all strive for but so often I am less than perfect and this is why I need this place. Look what we've all been through here. I think after all this most if not all are pretty level headed. If things become heated, I notice a lot of peacemakers and practical minded folk bring things back to a simmer. This is a real community.

    Thanks, thank you all for being who you are
    Reuben

    P.S. I do have one major complaint. Someone enthusiastically promoted webbogle on this site. So, naivly I checked it out. This game is pretty much ruining my life. My wife is threatening weboggle intervention. It's getting bad. Worst part is I'm not even that good at this game. Never will be. And sadly, I'm leaving this site right now to play some more.
  • nanuk
    nanuk Member Posts: 1,358 Member
    #7
    levensweg said:

    Betsy,
    Im an amatuer newbie/lurker. I don't have a problem with hearing people's strong opinions and feelings. I am very glad to hear them. For LLLady, I think she was making a statement about Duey followed by her thanking this great community. I dont think she was aking for anyones opinion. I cant help but think that LLLady's post was an ackward place to launch such a difficult opninion poll. My heart goes out to her and Duey.

    Still, these things I feel must be discussed somewhere, somehow. There must be a thoughtful and convenient way to do this somewhere on this site. If one cannot share and express the immense fear, sublime awakanings, anger bigger than mountains, immense joy and so on here, then where? What would really scare me off this site is if everyone were afraid to debate anything at all.

    As a thirty four year old, stage four survivor ned for one year now, I have decided that the most profound thing I can possibly do is be happy. That's what I think we all strive for but so often I am less than perfect and this is why I need this place. Look what we've all been through here. I think after all this most if not all are pretty level headed. If things become heated, I notice a lot of peacemakers and practical minded folk bring things back to a simmer. This is a real community.

    Thanks, thank you all for being who you are
    Reuben

    P.S. I do have one major complaint. Someone enthusiastically promoted webbogle on this site. So, naivly I checked it out. This game is pretty much ruining my life. My wife is threatening weboggle intervention. It's getting bad. Worst part is I'm not even that good at this game. Never will be. And sadly, I'm leaving this site right now to play some more.

    I haven't read all the comments that precipitated
    all the feelings, but Reuben seems to have a pretty good grasp of what we're all about. Bottom
    Line for us all is that it's always our decision, and our consequenses, but it's nice to see the pro and the con of it to possibly guide us along the way in that process. If it gets a little stormy, so what? Our differences are what make us interesting, and sharing opinions is invaluable...esp. here.

    bud







    Bud
  • nanuk
    nanuk Member Posts: 1,358 Member
    #8
    levensweg said:

    Betsy,
    Im an amatuer newbie/lurker. I don't have a problem with hearing people's strong opinions and feelings. I am very glad to hear them. For LLLady, I think she was making a statement about Duey followed by her thanking this great community. I dont think she was aking for anyones opinion. I cant help but think that LLLady's post was an ackward place to launch such a difficult opninion poll. My heart goes out to her and Duey.

    Still, these things I feel must be discussed somewhere, somehow. There must be a thoughtful and convenient way to do this somewhere on this site. If one cannot share and express the immense fear, sublime awakanings, anger bigger than mountains, immense joy and so on here, then where? What would really scare me off this site is if everyone were afraid to debate anything at all.

    As a thirty four year old, stage four survivor ned for one year now, I have decided that the most profound thing I can possibly do is be happy. That's what I think we all strive for but so often I am less than perfect and this is why I need this place. Look what we've all been through here. I think after all this most if not all are pretty level headed. If things become heated, I notice a lot of peacemakers and practical minded folk bring things back to a simmer. This is a real community.

    Thanks, thank you all for being who you are
    Reuben

    P.S. I do have one major complaint. Someone enthusiastically promoted webbogle on this site. So, naivly I checked it out. This game is pretty much ruining my life. My wife is threatening weboggle intervention. It's getting bad. Worst part is I'm not even that good at this game. Never will be. And sadly, I'm leaving this site right now to play some more.

    I haven't read all the comments that precipitated
    all the feelings, but Reuben seems to have a pretty good grasp of what we're all about. Bottom
    Line for us all is that it's always our decision, and our consequenses, but it's nice to see the pro and the con of it to possibly guide us along the way in that process. If it gets a little stormy, so what? Our differences are what make us interesting, and sharing opinions is invaluable...esp. here.

    bud







    Bud

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