reconstruction surgery DIEP, tamoxifen, life

All of that, I have thought or said, or wondered...congrats! you are a normal cancer patient!!!!
Have you thought about talking to an oncological psychologist? I did, it REALLY helped!!!

Hugs, Kathi

Let's see, you're dealing with the top killer of women in America, upcoming surgery, stressful changes in routine, along with all the normal things that life can throw at you and you're worried now that you're not positive enough! You sound pretty normal for a cancer patient to me. Facing cancer and its treatment is VERY stressful. Realizing that you AND your family are under some incredible stressers right now is a first step. Doing something about the stress--preferably something healthy--is the next step. There's lots you can do too: basic good nutrition (less caffine, more fruits and veggies, low fat dairy, whole grain bread and cereals, and so forth), 30 to 60 minutes of exercise a day for everybody, regular bedtimes, planned fun activites at least once a week, massages, extra hugs, dates with no kids, funny movies, jokes on the internet,music, time at a support group for just you to talk about whatever, and time alone to journal or do whatever helps you de-stress. Yes, I found that tamoxifen damped some of my "perkiness" and I had a friend that reacted with a more intense depression. Both of us found that hard exercise was sufficient to make it bearable. I noticed mine more when it left after I went on exemestane. Talking with a clinical social worker who worked with my oncologist helped even more. She let me know that nothing I was experiencing (same stuff as you) was "crazy" or out of line with having cancer. She noted that she could have my oncologist prescribe something for depression if I felt like I needed it(many people do and it's not a sign of weakness to do something about a stubborn depression), but first she wanted me to try the stuff up above. She also got me in touch with a local support group. Just realizing I was normal helped a lot. Reading that neither a negative nor a positive outlook would change the genetics of my cancer helped a little too. You still come across books that are based on the presumption that a person's attitude caused cancer or its recurrance. The research I've read doesn't support it. However, a positive outlook makes the journey more fun and may help the immune system some. It won't hurt to punch a pillow and admit that things are rough right now. And reach out for help when you need it. I'll be thinking of you.

This is something very common that cancer patients suffer and why anti depressants are so common as well. I was diagnosed at 36 with stage 3 IDC Breast Cancer and found it had spread with 11 out of 21 positive nodes. I think the hardest thing to come to grips with was the fact that it should be obvious to me what I had been doing just wasn't working hence getting the big C. Learning to accept and moving forward helped me not to stay stuck in it all. Even though I had been ill for years after my treatments suffering every side affect known to man it seemed, I was able to realize my stake in this and take an active roll in my recovery. All through my ordeal I always did what I could and just getting up somedays was all I could do. There are plenty of things we can do to help ourselves and that sometimes takes the most courage of all.
I have to wonder sometimes if it wasn't that worring thing that got me here in the first place. Worry is one thing we all need to do allot less of.
Being good to yourself is a good place to start
Tara