HELP!!!

spongebob said:

I'd be happy to help. I am an active duty O-5 sel and survivor. Sounds like a very SNAFU'd situation you guys are in. What is you immediate situation? Do you have money for day-to-day expenses? It almost sounds like your husband is a Reserve on extended active duty? Title 10 orders? Or voluntary? What branch? Don't really unerstand a lot of the scenario you have described sounds very hosed-up. Does his command have an Ombudsman? Has he been talking to his Command NCO? Why are you in AK when he's in WA undergoing chemo? So many questions - sorry - just trying to better define the situation so I can perhaps help. If you'd like to talk about this on the phone drop me a note on the CSN e-mail system and give me your phone number and maybe we can figure this thing out.

Cheers

- SpongeBob

well, thank you. here is a lil more of our situation, and some answers to your questions.
actually, my husband was active duty since 2001. he was deployed every year in the last three years that we have been married. he is in the army, engineering battalion. he was stationed here in Alaska before his 2005 deployment to Afghanistan. when he was medavaced to Germany, they sent him to Washington. from there, because of the longevity of his treatments, he was transfered to Washington. because we just started buying our first home in December, before his medical condition got worse, we talked about the kids and I moving there with him. we decided against it for several reasons. 1- I have my parents close by so they will watch our babies when I need to travel, which is enormously appreciated. they also take care of them while I am at work. 2- I work for a dental clinic that has been very understanding of my husband's medical, and has given me so much time off. I have been working for the clinic for almost 7 years, and because of my recent promotion, neither of us want me to lose the position. 3- we just got into a deal with the owners of the place we are buying, so we feel it is our obligation to keep it, as they have refused offers from other potential buyers. and 4- my husband sees no reason to pack up and leave everything we have just for the remainder of his treatment, which may be at the end of the year. he also sees no reason behind us picking up the kids from what they know as home to move them to somewhere that is much larger than what they've ever seen. adjustment. see, my husband had a bad childhood of sleeping place to place, never knowing where his home was, constant moving before he enlisted. he does not want that for his children. alright, then, he has spoken with some of the people there about his pay, but there was only one person who actually tried to help him. she wasn't able to get very far. they took his bah, his cola, his fsa, and meal allowance. finance said because he is no longer stationed in Alaska, his family needs to move there to Washington. we told them that it was not in our best interest. believe me, if it was completely up to me alone, I would be there with all our kids, but I don't want to lose what we have accomplished thus far. my husband still has medical appointments to go through, 2 more surgeries, but they have started his medical board. is that a good thing? to start that before he is finished? he has been directed to a VA facility, and has spent hours talking to different people..................everyone he has spoken with seem to be dead ends. I contacted finance in WA, but they refuse to speak to me about his pay, saying that it is for my husband only. I think I should have been involved because I am the one with our children, and his pay, or lack of, does affect me. there have been so many "finger-flops" from finance that my husband's pay has been unknown since December 30, 2005! we don't know what he is getting anymore because it varies so much month to month, and we are scared that he will end up with 0. I have been in contact with his Captain in Alaska, but because he was transfered, there is nothing more Alaska can do to help. I am just hoping to find out more of what we can do.
and one question for you..........lol, what is SNAFU'd? and don't worry, if it is vulgar, I am used to it. I just want to know the meaning. thank you

uni522 said:

Sorry it's taken me so long to reply, I don't get on here much lately.
I can help you understand a couple of your issues. First, your overseas pay: With the BAH and FSA and cola, it's all a matter of where your husband is stationed. If they "transfered" him to Washington to receive treatments, then that is where his housing allowance will be based. IF and this is a big IF... IF you are a native Alaskan (meaning your birth certificate states that is where you were born) you could still be eligible for some of the overseas entitlements.
However, you really have to find someone willing to help him in finance.
Here's my question: you say "you were not invited to finance discussions" with your husband. BY WHOM?? Your husband? Because I will tell you he is lying if he says finance won't allow you to be there. I don't want to start any fights or take sides, but I hate when women are shut out of their husbands career just because they've never been in the service and they don't know the "legalities" of the military.
Now, if it is NOT your husband, then ya'll need to see your "First Sergeant". You have two military bases there in Seattle. One is Navy, one is Air Force, they have a lot of resources that would be available to you if needed. The Air Force base has an office called "family support" and they do wonders with assisting people in crisis. If you need some phone numbers I can look those up for you. My mom is in the Navy and stationed in Seattle and I can help with some numbers from there as well.
Anyway, I hope I helped some and didn't totally muddy the waters. Let me know if you have any more questions from my rambling....
God bless and good luck in your journey,
Brittany

first off, I do appreciate your suggestions, and I do appreciate your honesty on the finance situation. the person who said I was not invited to his financial discussions was the lady from 9th finance herself. she said that his pay was "none of my concern". I have never been shut out of my husbands career. he has let me know everything that is going on. finance did not like me being in the discussions because I know more about his les's than they would like, and I questioned every pay they said he was not entitled to. I guess when they could not answer my questions, they did not like it. I have several family members in each branch of the military, so I kinda know my way around the military a little. my husband has been talking to anyone that will listen to him. even his tdy was never given to him for his deployment! it's been 9 months since his return to the U.S. I say that is more than enough time for them to get that to him. also, he was medevaced, so he should not have been worrying aboout his equipment. because he was medevaced out of country, it should have been one of his superiors to take care of it for him. he was less than 2 months from dying for pete's sakes! and the military wanted his equipment accounted for while he was going thru treatment! he was unable to tell them what happened because when he had finally been able to make it to medical, he was at less than 80% oxygen! he was put on a medevac out of Afghanistan that very day. he wasn't very aware of what was going on around him. I just thank God for the newly trained private that had actually listened to his complaints and sent him to the hospital rather than send him back to the tent with a bottle of ibuprofen! right now, I have sent letters to my congressman, my husband is continuously talking to people on post. and yes, I am AK Native. I was born and raised on the smallest part of Alaska. lol. very small. my husband is at Ft. Lewis, Army post. I don't know how things are in the Navy, or the Air Force, but from what I've seen, it is all sugar-coated compared to the Army/Marines. there are similarities, but believe me, if you are lower ranking in the Army, you are not treated as well as people think. I am doing what I can from here in Alaska, and he is doing what he can in Seattle. I appreciate any other suggestions/help.
again, thank you