My caregiver is gone!

JoyceCanada
JoyceCanada Member Posts: 134
edited March 2014 in Colorectal Cancer #1
Saturday was the worst day of my life. We had to put our little Westie (age 13) to sleep. She was such a tough little dog and had survived 2 years of diabetes and finally went into kidney failure. I went into a complete melt down emotionally when she died - she was my little "rock" always by my side, she slept with me when I came from Chemo treatment. She never left my side since this Cancer journey started.

Her name is Annie and she was the BEST caregiver anyone could ever have wanted.

I can't stop crying - next Chemo is scheduled for Monday --- and I honestly can't face it without having her by my side.

The pain of losing her is really hard - non pet owners will never understand what I am going through

Comments

  • debralla
    debralla Member Posts: 203 Member
    #2
    Joyce.
    I'am so sorry to hear that you lost your dog . I know how hard this is as I lost a dog that we had for 7 years and it was very hard on the whole family . I can tell you this .She is never gone and will remain with you in spirt , So when you are lying in bed I bet you will feel a warm spot right beside you .
    Take Care and God Bless.
    Debra
  • goldfinch
    goldfinch Member Posts: 735
    #3
    I'm so sorry for your loss. I understand how you feel. We had to put our wonderful dog Jocko to sleep one and a half years ago. I can still cry, at times, about him. If I look closely I can see him in the middle of the room looking at me with that smile of his. Not the same as touching him and petting him, but it helps me anyway. I agree with debra. Annie will be with you, just in a different form.
    Mary
  • cherriann
    cherriann Member Posts: 155 Member
    #4
    i have a yorkie who has been by my side through all of my hard times. it seems dogs have a sense of what is going on with you. my heart goes out to you. please stay strong.
    cherri
  • KathiM
    KathiM Member Posts: 8,028 Member
    #5
    Aw, Joyce...that happened to me between my 2 cancer fights...pewter colored cat that laid with his head on my tummy during the pain from the rectal cancer, and purred! I have his 2 brothers left, but I miss Sir Edmund...but if I lay very still, and close my eyes, I can STILL feel his very special "CAT SCAN" purring!

    Hugs, Kathi
  • KathiM
    KathiM Member Posts: 8,028 Member
    #6
    cherriann said:

    i have a yorkie who has been by my side through all of my hard times. it seems dogs have a sense of what is going on with you. my heart goes out to you. please stay strong.
    cherri

    Cherri,
    WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN, GIRL? I HAVE BEEN CONCERNED.......HOW ARE YOU?

    Hugs, Kathi
  • mindy10
    mindy10 Member Posts: 182 Member
    #7
    KathiM said:

    Aw, Joyce...that happened to me between my 2 cancer fights...pewter colored cat that laid with his head on my tummy during the pain from the rectal cancer, and purred! I have his 2 brothers left, but I miss Sir Edmund...but if I lay very still, and close my eyes, I can STILL feel his very special "CAT SCAN" purring!

    Hugs, Kathi

    Hi Joyce, so sorry for your loss, as an animal lover I know how you feel. we have a 10 year old shih ztu and he sleeps with me everynight and I cant image the day I wont see him next to me in bed and he always follows me and needs to know where ever I am and I will miss that to. You can do it Monday. Just think of all the good memories with him while your receiving your chemo. Maybe when you feel better you can think about getting another dog. I know it wont replace your other dog but it might make you feel a little better. Mindy
  • mwomack
    mwomack Member Posts: 78
    #8
    I am so sorry, and understand your pain. I'll let you in how silly I am, my husband and i have an ALL PAID trip to California for a week. I've decided I don't think I'm not going cause I don't want to leave my dogs for that long. They act so sad when they see us packing, and then I miss and worry about them.

    Hugs,

    MA
  • JoyceCanada
    JoyceCanada Member Posts: 134
    #9
    Hi Kathi: Apart from this set-back with our little dog things have been going pretty well. My Oncologist put me back on Oxi. I have to take oodles of steroids and other meds pre-infusion and they give me a long slooooooooow infusion. I go to the Cancer Clinic around 8 a.m. and I'm usually done with the infusion around 3:30p.m. I have had very little in the way of "unusual" side effects, just the finger tingles, neausea, diarrhea etc Nothing that I can't handle. I've completed 5 rounds (out of 8) and I'm determined to get all the treatments in. I've done 28 continuous radiation with FU and with 8 rounds of Oxi,Lev FU I sure hope that I've vanquished the BEAST. I was diagnosed with stage III x 2 lymph node involvement and chose to do the most aggressive treatment available.
    I feel that every day gets me closer to our pal NED :-) I will never, give in to this....I'm 60 Scottish and stubborn as all heck!!!
  • terril
    terril Member Posts: 296
    #10
    I am so sorry to hear about your little dog. As animal lovers, when we have to go through the death of a pet, it is so terrible. I am thinking of you, Joyce. My prayers and thoughts are with you. Your little friend crossed over the rainbow bridge. Terri
  • steelerfan
    steelerfan Member Posts: 26 Member
    #11
    Hi Joyce, I am so very sorry for your loss. I know how much unconditional love they give to us. I got my little shih-poo (Macey) after my surgery last year and she helped me recover more than any medicine ever could. I tell her all the time that she was the best thing that ever came out of me having cancer. My husband was not really a dog person but since I was going through so much, he agreed to it. He absolutely loves her--she even sleeps with us! I know you will carry your little Annie in your heart forever. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Mary

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