Ovarian Cancer recurrance

mopar said:

I saw myself in your post: 'I'm their rock... don't want to let anyone down... 'always saying I'm fine'. However, I'm fortunate that I do get much support. I finally realized that it's okay to say 'I'm not feeling well' or 'these treatments are tough'. But then, I move on from there and just do what I have to do to face this. It's okay to be fearful, not sure of the future, etc. We have a strong faith that really gets us through this. Assemble your 'troops' this weekend. Maybe just tell everyone, 'I'm going to need some help with this - we need to all work together', whatever comes to you, whatever you need to say. Actually I never expressed fear to my children, but told them I would 'do my best', 'I have a wonderful doctor', etc., and gave them the hope that I had, even though there were some times in the beginning that I wasn't sure myself. My husband was my sounding board. I think once or twice I told him, in a moment of weakness, that I didn't know if I could do this. But after that, I just felt relieved to have said it, and the hope and strength returned.

This is my second time around. I will know this month if 2 weeks ago was my last round of chemo. Your CA125 can go up and down, but obviously a continual rise signals something going on. However, the decline from 4000 to 7.8 is absolutely amazing! The tingling hands and feet are probably neuropathy. I had that the first time around. It got pretty nasty, but I took B-6 and L-Glutamine which minimized it a bit. And once chemo was over, it eventually got much, much better. If it gets too difficult for you, there are medications they can try to use to help you. I had the surgery and Taxol/Carboplatin the first time, and surgery and Taxotere/Carboplatin this time around. There are many women here who have had the Topotecan, so I'm sure they'll give you some insight on that.

You have come to the right place. We're here just about any time. You can e-mail many of us personally if there's something specific you need to ask or just want to chat. My prayers are with you and your family. Don't underestimate your strength. Obviously, if you've been everyone else's rock all this time, now it's your turn. Use that same strength to get through this one day at a time, one MOMENT at a time.
Hugs.
Monika

bebo said:

Yes, I deal with the fear sometimes more than others. When I was told after surgery that I had cancer, I had a feeling come over me that I was going to alright. I can't put it into words, but it was an epiphany. So I handled the original dx well. I was busy killing cancer cells and after chemo it would be gone. But after chemo I started worrying it would come back, not all the time, but evertime I had a physical pain that I had had before dx, I would worry. I had an incidence in May and I really never thought it was the cancer returning, but it was. That was when I hit bottom. I cried for 2 days, was sure I was going to die and leave my children. Somehow, I came out of that with the fighting spirit back. Some of the posts I've read on here and tealtalk.org have really helped to bring hope back. I refuse to let cancer take anything else from me. I am thankful for every moment and I refuse to think of dying all the time. I WANT TO LIVE! That is what I concentrate on. None of us know if we will die of this disease and we certainly don't know when we will die. That is between us and God. As my friend says "You're still here, and that's what we are going to focus on." We all have the HMG ( Human Mortality Gene). Feel your fear and don't ignore it. We all have to face it. There is a great book that I bought 20 years ago, "You Can't Afford the Luxury of a Negative Thought-A Book for Peopel With Any Life-Threatening Illness-Including Life" by McWilliams and Rogers. It is a great handbook for life and especially dealing with a life threatening illness. I hope it is still available. Love your life and the people in it.

Debbie