Happy Birthday Mom

themis01
themis01 Member Posts: 167
edited March 2014 in Colorectal Cancer #1
As some of you know my mom died on March 21st of stage 4 cc. Today would have been her 63rd birthday and I miss her so much. I will never understand why a such a beautiful person could ever be put through the torture she was put through mentally and physically...and then not even survive it. Happy Birthday Mom - you were the best.
Erika

Comments

  • rbemail
    rbemail Member Posts: 6
    #2
    My dad has stage IV colon cancer. We are in pain management mode now instead of recovery mode. Sunday will be his 66th birthday. Watching him go through the torture he has been going through has been horrible. My dad is the greatest dad in the universe. He doesnt deserve to go through such hell. Let me ask you-I know you loved your mother, but was their some sort of relief when you knew she didnt have to suffer anymore? Selfishly I dont want my dad to die and I feel guilty even asking such a question. But death is inevitable, so I wanted to know if knowing he is no longer in pain will help me deal with his loss when it happens.
  • themis01
    themis01 Member Posts: 167
    #3
    rbemail said:

    My dad has stage IV colon cancer. We are in pain management mode now instead of recovery mode. Sunday will be his 66th birthday. Watching him go through the torture he has been going through has been horrible. My dad is the greatest dad in the universe. He doesnt deserve to go through such hell. Let me ask you-I know you loved your mother, but was their some sort of relief when you knew she didnt have to suffer anymore? Selfishly I dont want my dad to die and I feel guilty even asking such a question. But death is inevitable, so I wanted to know if knowing he is no longer in pain will help me deal with his loss when it happens.

    I think it helps some and there is relief that they are not being tortured on a daily basis. However I thought if one more person at the funeral had to say "at least she isn't suffering anymore" I would punch them. I mean she didn't deserve to have it happen at all so it just didn't make me feel that much better to hear that. Honestly for me at this point it is just a daily feeling of heartbreak that will pnly subside with time.
    erika
  • mindy10
    mindy10 Member Posts: 182 Member
    #4
    rbemail said:

    My dad has stage IV colon cancer. We are in pain management mode now instead of recovery mode. Sunday will be his 66th birthday. Watching him go through the torture he has been going through has been horrible. My dad is the greatest dad in the universe. He doesnt deserve to go through such hell. Let me ask you-I know you loved your mother, but was their some sort of relief when you knew she didnt have to suffer anymore? Selfishly I dont want my dad to die and I feel guilty even asking such a question. But death is inevitable, so I wanted to know if knowing he is no longer in pain will help me deal with his loss when it happens.

    There definately was relief. I cried and cried and mourned while my dad was dying. Then his last day as he was dying I just let it all out and cried so loud i think the neigbors heard me. When my sister called and said he was gone. I didnt even cry there was such a feeling of relief that he was out of pain and that I didnt have to watch him suffer one more day. So no I dont think your being selfish. If you ever need to talk send me a message because I just went through what you are going through now with your dad. My father was in the dying process for 2 1/2 months before he passed on. Mindy
  • midnte0708
    midnte0708 Member Posts: 166
    #5
    I'm sad just thinking about how sad you must feel missing your mom. I've followed your posts and your Mom is lucky to have you for a daughter and I'm sure she is watching over you now.
    My dad has stage IV CC and still in the battle with his cancer but I can't imaging losing him.
    Take care,
    Sue
  • oneagleswings
    oneagleswings Member Posts: 425 Member
    #6
    Hi Erika:
    My heart aches for you knowing what you are going through and the sadness of missing your Mom...my Mom has been gone for 10 years now and finally the smiles of the memories take away some of the pain....wish your Mom a Happy Birthday - I'm sure she is with you and can still feel your love.
    Bev
  • terril
    terril Member Posts: 296
    #7
    Erika,
    Moms are so special to us all. You were there for your mom, and that is a tough assignment in our lives. God bless you and your mom...celebrate her life! Terri
  • finner
    finner Member Posts: 230 Member
    #8
    terril said:

    Erika,
    Moms are so special to us all. You were there for your mom, and that is a tough assignment in our lives. God bless you and your mom...celebrate her life! Terri

    Hi
    My mom is still hale and hearty at 77 years of age. I find it very hard to imagine life without he, so I feel your sadness.


    XXXXXX
    Margo
  • Unknown
    Unknown
    #9
    It will be a year for me in September, September 23 as a matter of fact that my mom died of lung cancer. The pain has not gone away and I miss her terribly. I suppose that after my dad died 15 years ago (he was not even 60), my mom and I bonded more than we already had and she was also my last living link to him...her memories of him were mine as well. I am having a real tough time of it, still today, and cannot go through the boxes of things that I gathered out of her house before I sold it.

    Fortunately, my mom was spared the final agony of dying with lung cancer as she died of congestive heart failure brought on by post obstructive pneumonia but the hardest thing I ever did in my life was to tell them turn off the machines and let her go with dignity, if it's meant to be. And that she did...20 minutes later her soul left her body and was free. Was it easier to know that she wasn't sufferring anymore....NO!!!! I wanted her with me, even if it was just a body to go and visit every day, but I knew her wishes and obeyed them. Yes, there was some relief in that her stuggle was over and joy in the fact that she had finally gone to be with my dad, the love of her life, but I can honestly say that I'd give a heck of a whole lot to have her back. There's an emptiness inside of me that I don't think will ever go away. I treasure her memory and I know her spirit will always be with me, but it's just not the same.

    Monika

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