Friday Giggles

JADot
JADot Member Posts: 709 Member
edited March 2014 in Colorectal Cancer #1
Hi All:

Here's a couple of short jokes for a short week. Have a great weekend!

Cheers,
Ying

- - -
Clinton, Bush, and Washington...

Bill Clinton, George Bush and George Washington were on the Titanic. As the boat was sinking, George Washington heroically shouts, ''Save the women!''

George Bush hysterically screeches, ''Screw the women!''

And Bill Clinton's eyes light up and he says, ''Do we have time?''

- - -
Sleeping Squirrel

Why did the squirrel sleep on his stomach?

To keep his nuts warm!

Comments

  • kerry
    kerry Member Posts: 1,313 Member
    #2
    Thanks Ying!! I always head for your post on Friday mornings....another jump start giggle for my weekend.

    Hope you are doing well.

    Take care.

    Kerry
  • tkd3g
    tkd3g Member Posts: 767
    #3
    Here are a couple that made me smile:

    If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?

    Instead of talking to your plants, if you yelled at them would they still grow only to be troubled and insecure?

    Is there another word for "synonym"?

    Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"?

    When sign makers go on strike is anything written on their signs?

    When you open a bag of cotton balls is the top one meant to be thrown away?

    Where do forest rangers go to get away from it all?

    Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

    Why do they report power outages on TV?

    What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?

    Is it possible to be totally partial?

    If a parsley farmer is sued can they garnish his wages?

    Would a fly without wings be called a walk?

    Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?

    Why do people who know the least know it the loudest?

    If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?

    When it rains why don't sheep shrink?

    Should vegetarians eat animal crackers?

    If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?

    Why is the word "abbreviation" so long?

    When companies ship Styrofoam, what do they pack it in?

    Have a great weekend.

    Barb
  • KathiM
    KathiM Member Posts: 8,028 Member
    #4
    Aw, you guys are AWSOME!

    Inside every aging woman is a young woman saying 'What the he** happened??????'
    Hugs from 'the Springs' where I won $100 last night...walked away with $40...had great fun...on to the 'day of beauty'!!!!
    Hugs, Kathi
  • JADot
    JADot Member Posts: 709 Member
    #5
    tkd3g said:

    Here are a couple that made me smile:

    If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?

    Instead of talking to your plants, if you yelled at them would they still grow only to be troubled and insecure?

    Is there another word for "synonym"?

    Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"?

    When sign makers go on strike is anything written on their signs?

    When you open a bag of cotton balls is the top one meant to be thrown away?

    Where do forest rangers go to get away from it all?

    Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

    Why do they report power outages on TV?

    What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?

    Is it possible to be totally partial?

    If a parsley farmer is sued can they garnish his wages?

    Would a fly without wings be called a walk?

    Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?

    Why do people who know the least know it the loudest?

    If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?

    When it rains why don't sheep shrink?

    Should vegetarians eat animal crackers?

    If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?

    Why is the word "abbreviation" so long?

    When companies ship Styrofoam, what do they pack it in?

    Have a great weekend.

    Barb

    These are great Barb. Thanks so much for sharing them!

    Giggles,
    Ying
  • JADot
    JADot Member Posts: 709 Member
    #6
    kerry said:

    Thanks Ying!! I always head for your post on Friday mornings....another jump start giggle for my weekend.

    Hope you are doing well.

    Take care.

    Kerry

    Hi Kerry:

    Glad the giggle helped!

    Do you have more info on your trip to CA in Sept? We have got to get together for another mini-CA-palooza. Recently I met TerriL when she was out here. We had a great few hours talking about body functions :) LOL!

    Have a great TX weekend,
    Ying
  • JADot
    JADot Member Posts: 709 Member
    #7
    KathiM said:

    Aw, you guys are AWSOME!

    Inside every aging woman is a young woman saying 'What the he** happened??????'
    Hugs from 'the Springs' where I won $100 last night...walked away with $40...had great fun...on to the 'day of beauty'!!!!
    Hugs, Kathi

    I love the one that says "beind every successful woman, there's herself."

    Sounds like you are having a heck of a time whooping it up at the 'springs, and wise enough to walk away while you were ahead. Did you blow the rest of the money on a veggie juice, LOL?

    Have a great weekend!
    Ying
  • KathiM
    KathiM Member Posts: 8,028 Member
    #8
    JADot said:

    I love the one that says "beind every successful woman, there's herself."

    Sounds like you are having a heck of a time whooping it up at the 'springs, and wise enough to walk away while you were ahead. Did you blow the rest of the money on a veggie juice, LOL?

    Have a great weekend!
    Ying

    Jamba Juice..hehehehhe!
    Also,
    When a woman gets stress, she goes shopping....
    when a man gets stress, he invades a country...
    Hugs, Kathi
  • spongebob
    spongebob Member Posts: 2,565 Member
    #9
    tkd3g said:

    Here are a couple that made me smile:

    If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?

    Instead of talking to your plants, if you yelled at them would they still grow only to be troubled and insecure?

    Is there another word for "synonym"?

    Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"?

    When sign makers go on strike is anything written on their signs?

    When you open a bag of cotton balls is the top one meant to be thrown away?

    Where do forest rangers go to get away from it all?

    Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

    Why do they report power outages on TV?

    What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?

    Is it possible to be totally partial?

    If a parsley farmer is sued can they garnish his wages?

    Would a fly without wings be called a walk?

    Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?

    Why do people who know the least know it the loudest?

    If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?

    When it rains why don't sheep shrink?

    Should vegetarians eat animal crackers?

    If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?

    Why is the word "abbreviation" so long?

    When companies ship Styrofoam, what do they pack it in?

    Have a great weekend.

    Barb

    George Carlin for President!
  • Kanort
    Kanort Member Posts: 1,272 Member
    #10
    Hi All,

    I missed out on Friday but am enjoying them today.

    Hugs,

    Kay

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