Hi all ... newbie here

gracegirlnow
gracegirlnow Member Posts: 9
edited March 2014 in Colorectal Cancer #1
Hi all,

I am on my third year of dealing with colorectal cancer. I had chemo, surgery, radiation and then chemo again three years ago. I guess that is a big trend here.

I have never posted on a meassage board about this. I am new to the site. I am just looking for others who deal with what I am dealing with each day.

I had stage three with three nodes involved. I guess stage 111 n1?

Anyway, I have lots of questions.

1. My dr. said that at three years my odds go way up so is this true? I know we do not live on stats but I would like to understand better.

2. How do I find out about learning to deal with survival, dating and being single? I was divorced about two months ago and I am so freaked out about ever dating and knowing people will not understand.

3. I am 41 now and feel like life is hard. My mom has lung cancer and this is the second go around for her.

everyone in my family dies with cancer. No joke all. We do not have heart attacks or anything just cancer. It is strange because it is all different types of cancer. It goes back generations. Some of my family lives longer lives say 70's but some do not. I am just blown away by all of this. Has anyone heard of this happening before?

I know this is a lot for one message but I just don't know were to start.

Thanks for reading a post from a new person God bless

Gracegirlnow

Comments

  • KathiM
    KathiM Member Posts: 8,028 Member
    #2
    First of all, my dear, welcome....

    Answers:
    1. I don't know...still trying to decide when to start counting...
    2. Take it slow, and you don't have to tell everything on the first date...start with just hanging out with people.
    3. Yeah, my mom's dad died of colorectal cancer, her sister died of lung cancer, my mom has survived breast and endometrial cancer, I have just completed my second battle...first was rectal, then breast cancer...I think generally because people used to die from stuff like infections and diseases that are now curable, cancer comes next on the list...sigh...live longer, have more of a chance of meeting the beast!

    Start by giving yourself a BIG HUG! You have DEFEATED the beast!!!!
    Hugs, Kathi
  • shmurciakova
    shmurciakova Member Posts: 906 Member
    #3
    Hello and welcome! I would say that you just need to take a deep breath and realize how wonderfully you are doing. Yes, three years cancer free is a huge milestone! Actually, your odds (of a recurrence) go way down after 2 years - 3 is even better! I was divorced back in '98 after a brief marriage and I know how awful it is. I remember feeling the way you do, but hey, I would say live it up! I think you will be surprised at how understanding people can be and if you give them a chance. I am very sorry about your mother, that must be really tough, but just because others in your family died of cancer does not mean that it will happen to you. It may be why you got cancer in the first place though. I know that genetics do play a role in some people more than others, so that is possible. I think that you should try to count your blessings. It's like you are getting another lease on life. You are cancer free, 41 (still young), and single!! Sounds good to me!
    Take care of yourself. I hope that maybe some of the others have more words of wisdom for you, but I guess I would start to try to change my thinking to "I am on my third year of NOT dealing with colorectal cancer"!
    I hope that helps some,
    Take care,
    Susan.
  • gracegirlnow
    gracegirlnow Member Posts: 9
    #4
    KathiM said:

    First of all, my dear, welcome....

    Answers:
    1. I don't know...still trying to decide when to start counting...
    2. Take it slow, and you don't have to tell everything on the first date...start with just hanging out with people.
    3. Yeah, my mom's dad died of colorectal cancer, her sister died of lung cancer, my mom has survived breast and endometrial cancer, I have just completed my second battle...first was rectal, then breast cancer...I think generally because people used to die from stuff like infections and diseases that are now curable, cancer comes next on the list...sigh...live longer, have more of a chance of meeting the beast!

    Start by giving yourself a BIG HUG! You have DEFEATED the beast!!!!
    Hugs, Kathi

    Thanks,

    I think I may have found a place that will have some answers and support.

    I am very blessed and know that. I guess I just need to change fear to knowing I am winning.

    Thanks the post did help.

    gracegirlnow
  • suzannchili
    suzannchili Member Posts: 134 Member
    #5
    Sorry you have to be here but, welcome! I too am a stage 3 survivor, diagnosed at age 29 and will celebrate my 6 year survivor anniversary in September. I was also told that odds go up after the 3 year mark, but I'm not sure how the statistics apply to those under 50. You came to a great place to learn about survivorship. I am sure you will get helpful feedback from others as I have. As for dating, divorce, and being single, well that's hard even without a cancer diagnosis. But just remember what a strong individual for are for coming through this. Being a cancer survivor is powerful stuff- it doesn't necessarily define who you are but is definitely a part of your life. Don't know what to tell you about the family history, but will end with not everybody has to die with cancer.

    Looking forward to seeing more posts from you. Again, this is a very powereful place to gather information and much needed support!
  • debralla
    debralla Member Posts: 203 Member
    #6
    suzannchili said:

    Sorry you have to be here but, welcome! I too am a stage 3 survivor, diagnosed at age 29 and will celebrate my 6 year survivor anniversary in September. I was also told that odds go up after the 3 year mark, but I'm not sure how the statistics apply to those under 50. You came to a great place to learn about survivorship. I am sure you will get helpful feedback from others as I have. As for dating, divorce, and being single, well that's hard even without a cancer diagnosis. But just remember what a strong individual for are for coming through this. Being a cancer survivor is powerful stuff- it doesn't necessarily define who you are but is definitely a part of your life. Don't know what to tell you about the family history, but will end with not everybody has to die with cancer.

    Looking forward to seeing more posts from you. Again, this is a very powereful place to gather information and much needed support!

    Wow not just a Newbie , But a newbie that is a stage 3 survivor . You see you are already bringing Hope and great Ned news to the board .
    Please pull up a chair and Join our Family. You will soon find out that you have found a new home . Thanks for sharing your story and like others have said sorry you have to be here . But glad you found us .
    I don't have much info for you on the dating thing ,All I can add is when I met my husband . I was not even looking . Sometimes looking to hard can blind us of whats staring us right in the face !!!
    Take Care and God Bless.
    Debra
  • spongebob
    spongebob Member Posts: 2,565 Member
    #7
    Ahoy, gracegirlnow -

    Welcome to the semi-colons; sorry you have to be here, but you couldn't have found a better bunch of half-**** to hang out with!

    You ask a lot of the same questions that hang over most of us. You said it yourself - do't hang your hat on stats. Stats are for mathemeticians (I can't even spell that!) Live you life and be happy to be alive. I'm 42 and divorced as well - there are plenty of single folks here in their 40s - life goes on and what happens will happen and it will be for a great reason. Keep on being there for your family. My cancer is hereditary, too - my mom has it, her sister has it... same situation. I just try not to let it rule my life. I do a lot of work to try and fight it - awareness, mentoring, etc. It's a good outlet for me.

    Welcome. Sorry to meet yuo this way, but glad you're here.

    Be well

    - SpongeBob

    PS - watch out for Kathi; she'll try to get you to dance naked. Also be careful of 2Behealed & Scouty - they'll try to get you to live on carrot juice and blueberry smoothies (which actually are pretty good if you add a couple shots of good dark rum)!
  • Limey
    Limey Member Posts: 446 Member
    #8
    Welcome Gracie, this is a great site for information and support and smart alec comments just when you need one. Dating - I would guess one would find a more understanding person at a community support function than at a bar but what the heck do I know. After 3+ yrs as a survivor your part of the hope we all strive for here. Have fun every day even if you dont want to. eat well and smile at people you dont know. they will wonder what the hell is wrong with you - it will be your little seceret.
    Limey
  • gracegirlnow
    gracegirlnow Member Posts: 9
    #9
    Limey said:

    Welcome Gracie, this is a great site for information and support and smart alec comments just when you need one. Dating - I would guess one would find a more understanding person at a community support function than at a bar but what the heck do I know. After 3+ yrs as a survivor your part of the hope we all strive for here. Have fun every day even if you dont want to. eat well and smile at people you dont know. they will wonder what the hell is wrong with you - it will be your little seceret.
    Limey

    Thanks to all,

    It is nice to have people understand me and my fears.

    It is about time for all my scans, scope and blood work (you know the rutine). I try to get everthing over in the same couple of weeks.

    I see the onc. still about every 4 months and the scope once a year of course.

    I have a 19 year old son. I would love to get him to do the scope by the time he is 28. He is in the navy but still in the US so maybe if I keep after him. hmmmm!

    This year has been very hard for me. I now live alone but I am starting to enjoy it.

    I am starting to do arobics and floor exercise. I eat healthier and drink very little soda. Water is the drink of choice now. I shop at the health food store for my groceries.

    Lots of fruit and veg. Little meat (just in the last month before that I LOVED read meat) and working on low suger and low carb.

    I am looking at joining a belly dance clas in Aug. and I am starting to volunteer at my church. So this is a new and upbeat life I have started for MYSELF.

    Anyway, now you know about me. Thanks for listening and I will keep everyone in my prayers.

    We are a group of people who have seen the pit and refused to be pulled in. I will not let the (beast) keep me pushed up against the wall. I want a life and to do that the beast must back off.

    I am learing that their is life after treatment. It is a good place to be. (I just have a lot in side I need to get out and I am thankful I found this site)

    Step by step we will do more than survive... We will live and succeed.

    Thanks again for listening to this rambeling post.

    Gracegirlnow
  • spongebob
    spongebob Member Posts: 2,565 Member
    #10
    gracegirlnow said:

    Thanks to all,

    It is nice to have people understand me and my fears.

    It is about time for all my scans, scope and blood work (you know the rutine). I try to get everthing over in the same couple of weeks.

    I see the onc. still about every 4 months and the scope once a year of course.

    I have a 19 year old son. I would love to get him to do the scope by the time he is 28. He is in the navy but still in the US so maybe if I keep after him. hmmmm!

    This year has been very hard for me. I now live alone but I am starting to enjoy it.

    I am starting to do arobics and floor exercise. I eat healthier and drink very little soda. Water is the drink of choice now. I shop at the health food store for my groceries.

    Lots of fruit and veg. Little meat (just in the last month before that I LOVED read meat) and working on low suger and low carb.

    I am looking at joining a belly dance clas in Aug. and I am starting to volunteer at my church. So this is a new and upbeat life I have started for MYSELF.

    Anyway, now you know about me. Thanks for listening and I will keep everyone in my prayers.

    We are a group of people who have seen the pit and refused to be pulled in. I will not let the (beast) keep me pushed up against the wall. I want a life and to do that the beast must back off.

    I am learing that their is life after treatment. It is a good place to be. (I just have a lot in side I need to get out and I am thankful I found this site)

    Step by step we will do more than survive... We will live and succeed.

    Thanks again for listening to this rambeling post.

    Gracegirlnow

    grace -

    Since your son is in the Navy - and assuming he will be when he's 28 - he will have some push-back from them on getting a scope. Drop me a note and we can discuss more if you'd like. I am a survivor and an active duty Coast Guard officer who has navigated the rocks and shoals of the military medical system, perhaps I can help.

    - SpongeBob
  • madu
    madu Member Posts: 53
    #11
    Hi Gracie,

    I'm a stage IV rectal sigmoid with met to liver survivor - going on 8 years now. My onc. told me that with no reoccurence by 2 1/2 years that my odds improved dramatically. He says at this point my odds are better to get a totally different cancer than a reoccurence. And my odds to get a totally different type of cancer is the same as that of the general population. He considers me to be cured but I am still vigilant.

    I was 31 and single when I was diagnosed. Since I wasn't really given any odds for survival, I didn't even consider dating until I personally felt I was going to be around for awhile! With my fertility shot by radiation and my diagnosis, I didn't feel like much of a catch. My friends assured me that it wouldn't matter to the right kind of guy. I have to say that they were absolutely right. I've dated two people since diagnosis - one's ex had breast cancer and he could have cared less and the other(who I live with now) didn't care at all. I was even so blunt to say that on paper I was terminal and how did they feel about it. Didn't matter at all - god love 'em. There was a girl who was diagnosed at the same time as me with the same diagnosis and she met and become engaged to her boyfriend while she was bald and in treatment. I'd say don't let it hold you up! You don't want the ones who have a problem with it and the ones that don't have a problem are keepers!

    Good luck!

    Heidi

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