Going to Say Goodbye to my Dad

mindy10
mindy10 Member Posts: 182 Member
edited March 2014 in Colorectal Cancer #1
Hi everyone, well Im having a tough night here. I got the call that my dad has 2 days left. Im traveling tomorrow to say my last goodbyes. I just got back Sunday after a 3 day visit and I was an emotional reck. He was out of it most of the the time but I had a few special moments with him. I held his hand and sang to him and rubbed his head and he said im sorry and I told him you dont have to be sorry you took care of me for years and now its my turn. I kissed his head and he said oh thats nice thank you. I never knew how hard this was going to be. To see him there in pain and not to be able to do anything for him just made me sick. I have been throwing up since seeing him. I hope I make it through the next few days. It will be the hardest days of my life. Mindy

Comments

  • spongebob
    spongebob Member Posts: 2,565 Member
    #2
    Mindy -

    It is good that you are talking about this and getting your emotions out. You knew that this day was going to come. I mean, it comes for us all - cancer or bus or broken bungee-jumping cord - it's part of the deal we make to experience this thing we call life. It's what makes life so incredibly precious.

    You said yourself that he is in a lot of pain... Know in your heart that when he finally does let go, he will be free of that pain. Know that he will always be with you in your memories and in everything you do and see. Hold your memories close. Know that he will be in a better place.

    Keeping you and your family in my prayers.

    - SpongeBob
  • jerseysue
    jerseysue Member Posts: 624 Member
    #3
    You will be in my prayers.
  • AuthorUnknown
    AuthorUnknown Member Posts: 1,537 Member
    #4
    Dear Mindy,

    My heart goes out to you. It is extremely difficult time for you. Please know that when you Dad passes, it is only his body that is sick and fallen apart dies, his soul goes on and will be alive and always with you. He will always be with you - not in body but in spirit. And He will be free from suffering. Be strong and stay with him until the end (I know it is easier to say than do) but see what you can do. God will give you strength.

    I will pray for you and your father that He may go to paradise.

    God Bless,
    Eleonora
  • suzannchili
    suzannchili Member Posts: 134 Member
    #5
    You, your Dad, and family are in my thoughts and prayers.
  • Kanort
    Kanort Member Posts: 1,272 Member
    #6
    Dear Mindy,

    My thoughts and prayers are with you during these most difficult of times. May your memories of heathier and happier times help sustain you. Please know that you are in our hearts.

    Kay
  • jsabol
    jsabol Member Posts: 1,145 Member
    #7
    ((((Mindy)))))
    My heart goes out to you and your family. Stay strong; you are in my prayers. Judy
  • Betsydoglover
    Betsydoglover Member Posts: 1,248 Member
    #8
    Mindy -

    You and your family are in my prayers. I so feel for you. You are never really ready to lose a parent (having lost two I feel I can say that). I am glad you have had some special moments with him and I hope you can at least take some comfort that when he passes he will no longer be in pain or "out of it".

    Take care and I am so sorry,
    Betsy
  • midnte0708
    midnte0708 Member Posts: 166
    #9
    Mindy,
    I'm so sorry to hear about your dad. I can't imagine what you are going through right now. I feel sick just reading your email.
    You and your family are in my prayers.
    Sue
  • LiverMetsBGone
    LiverMetsBGone Member Posts: 4
    #10
    My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
  • jams67
    jams67 Member Posts: 925 Member
    #11
    I'm so sorry about your dad. Remember, he will never really be gone. Keep him as a part of your life by talking to him. I feel that he will be listening and not suffering. jams
  • fedester
    fedester Member Posts: 753 Member
    #12
    hi mindy,
    you and your family are in my prayers.
    take care of yourself.
    bruce
  • KathiM
    KathiM Member Posts: 8,028 Member
    #13
    Mindy,
    We do things out of love that are seemingly impossible. But the hardest of these things is watching a loved one in pain. My love nursed me through 4 very intense bowel obstructions, and cried with frustration that he couldn't help. What he didn't realize is that he was helping, just by being at my side. I say very often that you caregivers have the toughest road, because those of us battling the monster are just focused on victory. We never have to survey the battlefield like you do. You have to hear the doctor's bad news, which you lovingly keep from us to leave us to our hope. You kiss our foreheads like a mother kisses a sick child's, and we feel better. You turn away to cry so we can't see the hurt in your eyes.
    Every caregiver has earned their wings, in my opinion. The hardest act of all is the one of saying goodbye. I love you for your strength.
    Hugs angel dear,
    Kathi
  • finner
    finner Member Posts: 230 Member
    #14
    KathiM said:

    Mindy,
    We do things out of love that are seemingly impossible. But the hardest of these things is watching a loved one in pain. My love nursed me through 4 very intense bowel obstructions, and cried with frustration that he couldn't help. What he didn't realize is that he was helping, just by being at my side. I say very often that you caregivers have the toughest road, because those of us battling the monster are just focused on victory. We never have to survey the battlefield like you do. You have to hear the doctor's bad news, which you lovingly keep from us to leave us to our hope. You kiss our foreheads like a mother kisses a sick child's, and we feel better. You turn away to cry so we can't see the hurt in your eyes.
    Every caregiver has earned their wings, in my opinion. The hardest act of all is the one of saying goodbye. I love you for your strength.
    Hugs angel dear,
    Kathi

    Hi Mindy
    i feel so sad for you. I am sending my best wishes to you and your family for the strength to endure this.

    Margo
  • Btrcup
    Btrcup Member Posts: 286
    #15
    (((((Mindy)))))) My heart goes out to you and your family. You will be in my thoughts.

    Linda
  • themis01
    themis01 Member Posts: 167
    #16
    Mindy I received the same type of phone call 3 months ago and said goodbye for the last time to my mom on March 21st. It is soooo hard and you are in my thoughts. There is nothing that will make it easier except to know that you at least were able to say goodbye.
    Erika
  • Unknown
    Unknown
    #17
    This comment has been removed by the Moderator
  • MarkWalz
    MarkWalz Member Posts: 58
    #18
    Mindy,
    Let me say I am praying for you in these difficult days. I know you are already hurting from losing your dad in who he used to be to who he has become. But you always have those wonderful memories to share with us and others. you should always remember who he was before this horrible attack on his body. Think of those wonderful times he did take care of you and kissed you.
    Staying with you on with these days ahead.
    God bless you ,
    MArk
  • alihamilton
    alihamilton Member Posts: 347 Member
    #19
    Mindy, I am so sorry to hear about your Dad. What a sad time for you! It will not be easy but you have shown such strength through this and that same strength will stay with you to help you over the next few days. My prayers are with you.

    Ali
  • 2bhealed
    2bhealed Member Posts: 2,064 Member
    #20
    ((((((((mindy)))))))))))

    You and your family are definitely in my prayers.

    peace, emily

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