Update on Dad

mindy10
mindy10 Member Posts: 182 Member
edited March 2014 in Colorectal Cancer #1
Hi Everyone hope you all are doing well. As you know my dad has stage 4 colon cancer and came out of the hospital 2 months ago because his lung filled with fluid. He has really gone down hill since then and now two Dr's feel its of his own doing. He went to see a Dr at one of the best cancer hospitals in Boston. He told my dad there is still treatment for him out there because his tumor is only at 3cm, but he has to have the will to live. He needs to eat, he needs a pycologist and physical therapy. My dad has not gotton off the couch since being home from the hospital so now his legs are basically useless. He only eats 50 calories a day so he is all sunken in and has no energy whats so every. He only drinks a half of glass of water a day. He asks for pain meds when his pain level is only a 2 and when he has gas pains. Its a sin that this is going to take him before the disease does. He probably could of had longer with more chemo. Sometimes I get so mad at him for not fighting but Im not in his shoes. Im sure he is sick of the whole thing. Its amazing how fast you can go downhill when you want to. I feel so useless and wish I could talk him into eating. I know he can eat because the other day when he got back from the dr's he had a milk shake and a while sandwich. And now yesterday he ate one little bowl of cereal. I use to think it was the disease causing all these symptoms but now I think its his mental mind. All I can say is fight, fight fight. Mindy

Comments

  • lfondots63
    lfondots63 Member Posts: 818 Member
    #2
    Hi Mindy

    HUGS!!!! It is hard to make someone do something if they don't want to. Do you ever give him some of our good posts? Maybe he thinks that there is no hope when you and I know that there is. Eating and drinking is cruicial because not doing these will put him back in the hospital. Maybe scare him with that? Unfortunately he is not the only one that this happens to. Some people are all alone in this fight and he is lucky to have you. Maybe he is very depressed and needs something to get him out of the dumps. Another thing is maybe someone online lives near you and come over and talk to him? Take care and keep us posted.

    Lisa
  • KathiM
    KathiM Member Posts: 8,028 Member
    #3
    Mindy:
    What a sharp gal! To see what's going on!
    QUICK, call 1-800-ACS-2345 (hotline) and ask for counselors in your area...your dad needs some serious morale building, and they have people that are VERY good at doing this...ALSO, ask his onc if he knows of someone...
    It would be a shame after all of your dad's physical fights with the beast, that he would lose to a mental trip!
    Hugs to you AND him!
    Kathi
  • kangatoo
    kangatoo Member Posts: 2,105 Member
    #4
    KathiM said:

    Mindy:
    What a sharp gal! To see what's going on!
    QUICK, call 1-800-ACS-2345 (hotline) and ask for counselors in your area...your dad needs some serious morale building, and they have people that are VERY good at doing this...ALSO, ask his onc if he knows of someone...
    It would be a shame after all of your dad's physical fights with the beast, that he would lose to a mental trip!
    Hugs to you AND him!
    Kathi

    Dear Mindy. I read desperation in your post and rightly so to feel the way you do. A while ago I posted about a friend of mine(Alan...in his late 60's) who has battled a form of leukemia for 7 years. Alan was told to prepare for only a short time left and was basically placed on palliative care. Alan NEVER once sought counselling help in those 7 years and his wife(Carlene) was pleading with him to do so.When I saw him he had lost the will to live, could not walk,eat or drink and his voice was very, very quiet. I met with Alan and Carlene to see if I could convince him to see my counsellor(a lady). After much discussion he agreed. He had several conselling appts. Today Alans attitude and emotional state has changed remarkably and his heamatologist is completely awestruck by Alan's improved state of mind. The wonderfull thing is that although he was told he was near the end and little could be done......several days later a new drug was offered to him to trial.
    I talk to Alan each week now and am also amazed at his change in outlook. Carlene says this came about during the week following his visits to my counsellor. His doctors are also amazed. Alan now walks his dog, eats/drinks better and is most definately much happier. Ok...sure the worry is still with him but he now knows that he is able to talk freely to someone about all the fears he pent up over seven years. Alan knows as all his friends do that he is on borrowed time. BUT....he has never told me again that quote, "I am finished!" He has regained the will to battle on and is doing it was so much courage and determination. A wonderfull man who has taken the step from emotional instability to a life of hope...in my words believing. This story is true Mindy. All Alan needed was someone other than close family or friends to really vent his feelings...someone impartial and non-judgemental.
    Do not take that as a reflection on you as a daughter Mindy...not intended that way. It is just that sometimes cancer patients need an outlet other than family and friends to confide in.
    I wish you all the best...this is so hard for you and I can see that your heart is aching.
    huggs, Ross n Jen

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