Please read! - Lung to Brain

kar0lina
kar0lina Member Posts: 5
edited March 2014 in Lung Cancer #1
April 05 is the last time i was here..my father was diagnosed with lung cancer-we heard sclc then nsclc-finally we were told the tumor in his lung 'was mixed. he responed to chemo/radiation amazingly-3 months ago the CT scans show no sign of cancer. 2 weeks ago my father started walking funny-feeling tired-slurring his speach-i took him to the ER and it turns out the cancer metasisized to his brain. its too big to opporate on so he is going through radiation now. my father is an amazing man-even at the hospital he is always cracking jokes-trying so hard to make those around him happy-trying to ease everyone elses pain except his own. his whole life he has been positive - now he is completely broken. he has decided that there is no cure for brain cancer and that he will die-soon. he wants to talk about his funeral plans and breaks down all the time. i'm sorry to go on and on like this but i just want to talk to someone who has survived similar circumstances-the docs didn't give him hope-just blah blah this is your treatment plan--they even said our goals should change from 'cure' to 'quality of life' well i know that the only one who decides when my father goes is the lord-but how can i help him change his attitude? how can i help him turn his outlook around? its so hard watching him like this-esp since his whole life he has been so positive.....i'm at a loss i pray that someone will be able to give me a story or hope here so i can somehow find a way to pass it along to him-thanks-k

Comments

  • SteveG.
    SteveG. Member Posts: 16
    #2
    Wow.. That's really tough. The only way I know of for your fathers attitude to change is for you, and others who visit or talk to him, his friends, relatives, et al..to show him that you have not given uop. Keep cheerful, I know it's hard, talk about other things, too.. find something else for him to be interested in> Get him involved in LIFE and he will, hopefully, find that it's MUCH nicer place to be!
  • bill2survive
    bill2survive Member Posts: 2
    #3
    I am overwhelmed by your story. Cancer has been driving me around for ten months now . I have mets followed by radiation almost every three months but not to brain or organs (bone mets only). It is sooooo hard to keep chin up but every day something makes me get up and go. Your father is tired and you can tell by your story but breaking down has it's own power and it also shows your dads compassion for life . It sounds like the jokes and lightheartedness will be his safe place just give him time to grieve for the setback and he will come shining through . You are in my prayers be well and tell your dad I said hang in there
  • 6784252473
    6784252473 Member Posts: 1
    #4
    10 year lung cancer survivor
  • kar0lina
    kar0lina Member Posts: 5
    #5
    SteveG. said:

    Wow.. That's really tough. The only way I know of for your fathers attitude to change is for you, and others who visit or talk to him, his friends, relatives, et al..to show him that you have not given uop. Keep cheerful, I know it's hard, talk about other things, too.. find something else for him to be interested in> Get him involved in LIFE and he will, hopefully, find that it's MUCH nicer place to be!

    thanks for the positive push Steve....he seems to be doing better-but i worry because he always is so worried about being a burden-he often hides any discomfort or saddness from pp-thats the kind of person he is...always thinking of others first.
  • kar0lina
    kar0lina Member Posts: 5
    #6
    bill2survive said:

    I am overwhelmed by your story. Cancer has been driving me around for ten months now . I have mets followed by radiation almost every three months but not to brain or organs (bone mets only). It is sooooo hard to keep chin up but every day something makes me get up and go. Your father is tired and you can tell by your story but breaking down has it's own power and it also shows your dads compassion for life . It sounds like the jokes and lightheartedness will be his safe place just give him time to grieve for the setback and he will come shining through . You are in my prayers be well and tell your dad I said hang in there

    thanks for your prayers BILL! i truly believe to beat cancer you have to heal your spirit and soul along with your body...and i honestly believe in the power of prayer. doctors are only human after all. thank you!
  • kar0lina
    kar0lina Member Posts: 5
    #7
    6784252473 said:

    10 year lung cancer survivor

    Hi! thats amazing! i am sure you inspire so many people around you...can i ask you share more of your story?
  • Plymouthean
    Plymouthean Member Posts: 262
    #8
    Hi. I'd like to make one brief point about your Dad'd concern about his becoming a burden.
    I don't know how many children your Dad raised, but even if you are an only child, raising a family is a burden, - if you look at it that way. I think that you should talk to your dad about that, and ask him if he considered it a burden to raise you. Of course we know what his answer will be! Ask him why, then, does he feel that he is a burden to you. Perhaps you can remind him that, sure, it's might take some work, - but it's not about that. It's about love. We take care of each other in our families. It's that simple. My prayers and best wishes to your Dad and your family.

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