Life can be beautiful after BC !

cat1switzerland
cat1switzerland Member Posts: 112
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
Hi everyone, I know some of you are going through chemo and other treatments right now. I went through all that 7 years ago, and I know how terrifying that can be. At times you wonder if your life will ever be the same. No, it won't. There are lasting changes. But for me, life became better! I was able to reassess my priorities and chose HAPPINESS! Yesterday I took a long warm bath and sang while keeping my mouth under the water: silly fun time at 44, I don't think I would have done that before! I also have a better job, I will soon celebrate my 21st anniversary and Life is beautiful!

Please trust me: these difficult times will come to pass and you will get your life back, better than it ever was.

I love you all,
Cathy now in France

Comments

  • pansylover
    pansylover Member Posts: 80
    #2
    Cathy, you are so right! I'm just a 2yr survivor..and Life is a blessing in everyway I look at it. I even married the love of my life AFTER all the hoopla....what a man!!!and congrats on the anniversary.
    Cindie
  • KathiM
    KathiM Member Posts: 8,028 Member
    #3
    Merci, Cathy! I agree COMPLETELY...we emerge like the butterfly, different in shape and colors...
    (My Hair is now WHITE...hehehehehe)
    Hugs, Kathi
  • ireneingeorgia
    ireneingeorgia Member Posts: 73
    #4
    Thanks Cathy, I am hoping it will soon behind a thing of the past. I started my first treatment of chemo yestrday, so 7 to go. I just pray for not much in the way of side effects and managing through the hair loss. As my husband tells me, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. God Bless.
    Ireneincordova
  • KathiM
    KathiM Member Posts: 8,028 Member
    #5
    ireneingeorgia said:

    Thanks Cathy, I am hoping it will soon behind a thing of the past. I started my first treatment of chemo yestrday, so 7 to go. I just pray for not much in the way of side effects and managing through the hair loss. As my husband tells me, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. God Bless.
    Ireneincordova

    I'm sending great BIG HUGS, Irene....I'm thru that part of my journey...hope you are like a friend of mine..."Chemo? Oh, yeah...really no big deal...only thing that was a little bothersome was the hair stuff, but I never realized how beautiful a head I had!!!!"
    Hugs, Kathi
  • KathiM
    KathiM Member Posts: 8,028 Member
    #6
    You know, the only really lasting side effect is that my eyes seem to 'leak' more...especially when I read some of the courageous stories posted here...
    Anyone else have this??? (NOT looking for a cure for this condition...just kleenex...hehehehe).
    Hugs, Kathi
  • LesleyH
    LesleyH Member Posts: 370
    #7
    I'm just a year from dx and finished treatment 3 months ago and am still hopping MAD with this whole thing. I feel that my life changed for the worse in a big way. I lost so much more than my hair. I don't know what stage you were Cathy or how much you had to adjust your way of life, but for me life will never be the same and I don't mean that in a good way. I read about women with DCIS and how their lives have changed for the better and I just think to myself - they don't have any idea. Of course, I know that compared to women with Stage IV - I have no idea.

    I do understand what you mean about compassion Kathi. I am much more aware of how fragile life is and how important kindness is. I do take time to be gentle now.

    Hugs.

    Lesley
  • wimpy
    wimpy Member Posts: 58
    #8
    hello cathy

    I am so pleased that you have reclaimed your joy after treatment. It is an awesome gift to be able to do that. I have just been reading the postings and to me it sounds like it might be progressing to a my reaction is better than your reaction discussion. Ladies, we all have dealt with our own personal traumas both undergoing treatment and after treatment and we all have learned to face it or compensate for it in our own ways. Feeling the kind of joy that Cathy feels is truly a blessing and I would will it that all of us get to that point at some time. For myself, I was back at the stage where I had almost forgotten that I had had cancer and treatment and was operating as my old self again when an aquaintance that I had made who had breast cancer five years ago had a recurrence and died. I am back at "That could be me and what do I want to do to make the rest of my life (whatever that might be) better?" Life after cancer is scary and each of us deals with it in our own ways. I believe that part of the difference may be our level of optimism. I know that I am closer to the pessimistic side so things like the death of my friend strike a blow from which it takes time to recover. However, what I have also noticed about myself is that the whole cancer experience has changed my capacity and patience to deal with how the majority of the world operates. The general pettiness, bitchiness, lack of awareness of people to their surroundings and to other people. When you have had a life-threatening illness (for me anyway) life seems too short to sit around dealing with petty crap and yet there is so much petty crap to deal with in this world. I often wonder why we as people want to cause each other stress by being uncooperative and mean but I also know that I wouldn't have even asked that question prior to having cancer. I would just have looked around and seen all of it as being "normal". I guess the problem is that my perspective has changed and I am the one that isn't normal anymore. It feels like it is both a gift and a curse. Especially since I can't change any of the behaviours that I see that are bothering me. Anyone out there feeling the same way?

    Wimpy
  • LesleyH
    LesleyH Member Posts: 370
    #9
    wimpy said:

    hello cathy

    I am so pleased that you have reclaimed your joy after treatment. It is an awesome gift to be able to do that. I have just been reading the postings and to me it sounds like it might be progressing to a my reaction is better than your reaction discussion. Ladies, we all have dealt with our own personal traumas both undergoing treatment and after treatment and we all have learned to face it or compensate for it in our own ways. Feeling the kind of joy that Cathy feels is truly a blessing and I would will it that all of us get to that point at some time. For myself, I was back at the stage where I had almost forgotten that I had had cancer and treatment and was operating as my old self again when an aquaintance that I had made who had breast cancer five years ago had a recurrence and died. I am back at "That could be me and what do I want to do to make the rest of my life (whatever that might be) better?" Life after cancer is scary and each of us deals with it in our own ways. I believe that part of the difference may be our level of optimism. I know that I am closer to the pessimistic side so things like the death of my friend strike a blow from which it takes time to recover. However, what I have also noticed about myself is that the whole cancer experience has changed my capacity and patience to deal with how the majority of the world operates. The general pettiness, bitchiness, lack of awareness of people to their surroundings and to other people. When you have had a life-threatening illness (for me anyway) life seems too short to sit around dealing with petty crap and yet there is so much petty crap to deal with in this world. I often wonder why we as people want to cause each other stress by being uncooperative and mean but I also know that I wouldn't have even asked that question prior to having cancer. I would just have looked around and seen all of it as being "normal". I guess the problem is that my perspective has changed and I am the one that isn't normal anymore. It feels like it is both a gift and a curse. Especially since I can't change any of the behaviours that I see that are bothering me. Anyone out there feeling the same way?

    Wimpy

    Speaking for myself, I simply want to make a case for all reactions are appropriate. It's not that one is better than the other. We have all been through a huge trauma and it is worse for some than others. KathiM is my hero. She has an incredible sense of humor and faced more horror than I. I am unsure how I would have reacted to 2 cancers in 2 years. It would not have been pretty. But I was misdiagnosed for 10 months and reserve the right to be very angry.

    There is also a tendency for humans to rationalize unhappy outcomes to make them more acceptable over time. Daniel Gilbert (a Harvard psychologist) has written a book on this called Stumbling on Happiness.

    Wimpy, I truly believe your fear is completely normal. There is no expiry on anxiety. This is a safe place to do it. No one here is going to blow you off. We all live this. Time only changes the details.

    In 7 years I may feel differently.
    Hugs

    Lesley
  • KathiM
    KathiM Member Posts: 8,028 Member
    #10
    LesleyH said:

    Speaking for myself, I simply want to make a case for all reactions are appropriate. It's not that one is better than the other. We have all been through a huge trauma and it is worse for some than others. KathiM is my hero. She has an incredible sense of humor and faced more horror than I. I am unsure how I would have reacted to 2 cancers in 2 years. It would not have been pretty. But I was misdiagnosed for 10 months and reserve the right to be very angry.

    There is also a tendency for humans to rationalize unhappy outcomes to make them more acceptable over time. Daniel Gilbert (a Harvard psychologist) has written a book on this called Stumbling on Happiness.

    Wimpy, I truly believe your fear is completely normal. There is no expiry on anxiety. This is a safe place to do it. No one here is going to blow you off. We all live this. Time only changes the details.

    In 7 years I may feel differently.
    Hugs

    Lesley

    Aw, Lesley, thanks gal....but I'm no hero...
    A hero is a person who CHOOSES to go into battle, when the option exists to walk away unscathed. This is not an option to any of us who have battled the beast. So, I just took the least scary choice. And was rewarded in a way, by surviving!
    My laughter sometimes covers crying...it's tough! But, even though I, too, have less patience with pettiness...I also must understand that it is the other person's problem, and not mine...in my mind I just think...."When you have stood in my shoes, face to face with the beast and death, THEN you can judge me, and affect me. Otherwise, be gone, I don't have time to concern myself with you."
    But, thank you for your kind words...for me, they are VERY wonderful.
    MAJOR Hugs, Kathi
  • cat1switzerland
    cat1switzerland Member Posts: 112
    #11
    LesleyH said:

    I'm just a year from dx and finished treatment 3 months ago and am still hopping MAD with this whole thing. I feel that my life changed for the worse in a big way. I lost so much more than my hair. I don't know what stage you were Cathy or how much you had to adjust your way of life, but for me life will never be the same and I don't mean that in a good way. I read about women with DCIS and how their lives have changed for the better and I just think to myself - they don't have any idea. Of course, I know that compared to women with Stage IV - I have no idea.

    I do understand what you mean about compassion Kathi. I am much more aware of how fragile life is and how important kindness is. I do take time to be gentle now.

    Hugs.

    Lesley

    I know it must be harder for some of you. There are things we lost, but I choose to look at what is left. I look at my half-breast and I smile. I look at my other breast and I smile even more. I look at my daughter, hubby, a stranger on the street and I smile. I don't smile constantly, and at times I get depressed or bitchy or angry about things. But this smiling at little things, it is a gift I gave myself for surviving BC.

    I wish you happiness, Lesley.

    Big hugs,
    Cathy

    PS: Some people say we need several hugs a day, I think they are right :-)
  • cat1switzerland
    cat1switzerland Member Posts: 112
    #12
    ireneingeorgia said:

    Thanks Cathy, I am hoping it will soon behind a thing of the past. I started my first treatment of chemo yestrday, so 7 to go. I just pray for not much in the way of side effects and managing through the hair loss. As my husband tells me, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. God Bless.
    Ireneincordova

    I am a brunette and to deal with my hair loss, I bought myself a sexy red hair wig. Was my hubby surprised!

    Nausea was less fun, but when I took zofren it stopped.

    Good luck with your treatment!
    Big hugs,
    Cathy
  • MadameK
    MadameK Member Posts: 1
    #13
    LesleyH said:

    I'm just a year from dx and finished treatment 3 months ago and am still hopping MAD with this whole thing. I feel that my life changed for the worse in a big way. I lost so much more than my hair. I don't know what stage you were Cathy or how much you had to adjust your way of life, but for me life will never be the same and I don't mean that in a good way. I read about women with DCIS and how their lives have changed for the better and I just think to myself - they don't have any idea. Of course, I know that compared to women with Stage IV - I have no idea.

    I do understand what you mean about compassion Kathi. I am much more aware of how fragile life is and how important kindness is. I do take time to be gentle now.

    Hugs.

    Lesley

    I guess we're not very welcome here, the ones with stage IV.
    I'm 47 and stage IV. Initial diagnosis in 1997, stage II invasive lobular carcinoma, node neg, ER PRG positive. Mets to thyroid, lungs, bones, liver, peritoneum in 2005.
    No, I don't think life is particularly beautiful.
    Hugs to all you ladies here
    madameK in France

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