feeling very fragile

spongebob said:

Jana -

Thank you for sharing your feelings with us all. I know we all feel fragile at times - regardless of our diagnosis. Letting those feelings out helps us purge ourselves and also lets others know when we need a boost.

I don't really have any words of wit for you right now, but I do want you to know that every one of us is here for you and you are in my prayers daily.

Like I mentioned in a previous post - it's OK to get knocked down - but you gotta get up. Know there are lots of hands here to help you when you are ready!

Love ya, Jana

- Bob

Hi Jana, Im so sorry that you have to be so scared. I know its an awful feeling. Im sure it was brought on by Andrea's passing. I think once you get over the shock of that you will feel better. I know your a fighter but Im sure there are days you just dont feel like fighting because your to tired. Thats ok to. I pray to god that he gives you the strength to fight this disease. Mindy

cherriann said:

hi jana,
dont feel guilty for not writing her because we all get wrapped up in our own battles and you have a very hard one to battle. i know how you feel about this site being a place to let it all out and please do. i think it is healing to us all to be able to offer words of support to someone on their down days. know that you have strength here if you ever need it and i will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. stay in touch. cherri

Hi Jana,

You put into words almost exactly how I've been feeling since I read about Andrea passing. I have been very troubled and scared and haven't been able to put it into words, so I thank you for saying what I feel... and I'm sure how many of us feel after reading about somone passing; especially someone so young and full of fight.

Please don't hammer yourself for not writing more or for focusing on your treatments. You have been such an inspiration yourself and you were there before and that's what matters. It's ok to take time for yourself to fight your battle... you have a lot on your plate.

It is so hard to see someone so full of fight and determination to beat this disease finally succomb to it. I think that's what makes it so scary; because, we all feel that same fight and determination and think that as long as we have spirit and fight that we will beat it... and then we see one of our own who had just as much fight or more lose the battle. It's important that we recognize that we might not be the one to make it and live each day as if it were our last while realizing that we are not doomed to the same fate.

Now I'm just rambling. I guess I'm still having a hard time puting my feelings into words.

*hugs* for being such a strong and caring person.

Tricia

Hi Jana,
Indeed, we are a very fragile species, aren't we. I was also rattled by Andreas passing. It forces us all to face our fears. I have said this to others as well as to myself, but I guess it is important to realize that her situation is not your situation. You know each case is different and no two people will respond to treatment the same way, etc. I cannot think of any two situations that have been exactly the same. We all are walking our own path and it is OK for you to be wrapped up in your own treatments. You have to be, because it is your life. You have to take care of yourself first.
Take care and keep believing that you will be OK.
-Susan.

Hi (((((((Jana))))))),
I am also quite shaken by the news of Andrea's death; her light burned with an intensity that lit the way for so many of us, and its scary to think that intensity was not enough to keep her with us. I weep as I read about her, and the tributes that others have sent.
As an MD, you have been exposed to countless senseless tragedies, but this one hits close to home for all of us with a cancer diagnosis. I think the most we can each hope for is the strength to walk our path, and the support of others when we need it. A part of those who have lost the struggle stays with me and bolsters my own strength (and fears). I truly feel that part of my own survival and recovery is to reach out to others to the best of my ability. I know I am not as articulate or witty as I would like to be here, but I hope you feel that there are many of us standing by you in your heroic struggle. I am amazed at your personal strength, and know that it is a part of you, even if you don't always feel it yourself.
I'm glad you are able to honest at this site; I don't think there are many places where we can really look our fears in the face and be understood. We are all standing with you, Judy

I am traveling right now; I stopped and gathered some wildflowers to remember Andrea..they are in a glass of water on the dashboard; a constant small reminder of our fragility. All of you can do some small thing to remember her. Light a candle and pray to whoever your God may be..Bud

Hi Jana,
I'm at a loss for words. Andrea's passing scared me also. She was so full of life and so young! I keep telling myself that although I can't predict the future I am alive now and that I have to celebrate my life, live each day to the fullest. I strongly believe that those who have died fighting cancer would want us to go on and continue that fight.
It's great that you can come here and share your feelings. It always helps me to know that I can come here, read what other people are thinking and feeling and say what I need to say.
Take care,
Jamie

Jana, hearing of Nettie and Andrea has scared me, too. It just makes me mad that we have to put up with cancer. CANCER SUCKS. It really makes me even more mad when I hear of our fellow semi colons who pass. I just try to live my life day by day. Every day is a gift. Laugh and enjoy life. I pray for the families of our friends who have gone to a better world. I also ask God to help us find a cure for this horrible disease. Jana, what you are feeling is very normal. I can remember the first person I knew at the cancer center where I am treated who died. His death really shook me. Any one who dies of this disease shakes me now. It is too close to home, so to say. This is all part of coping with cancer. The disease hits us in so many ways. Terri