New at all of this at 32!!

shamoto
shamoto Member Posts: 2
edited March 2014 in Colorectal Cancer #1
My husband was diagonsed w/ colon/rectal cancer is Jan. Had surgery in March, he is doing quite well w/ the physical recover. Lympnodes were clear but ended up w/ an ileostomy. He was also diagonsed w/ bladder cancer in May of last year. This was also caught early. He is having a difficult time dealing w/ all of this. Was wondering if anyone out there was in a similar situation. I have suggested that he talk to someone, but he refuses!!!He has issues w/ going out into crowds, pretty much become a home body!! HELP

Comments

  • KathiM
    KathiM Member Posts: 8,028 Member
    #2
    I'm certain you will be hearing from those of us with a '-stomy', so I will leave this to them. But, welcome to this site! And such a caring person for your hubby! How about calling your infusion center and talking to the patient care rep (if there is one)? I got much comfort from her. Also, have HIM come on line here...we pick our own screen names, so it's VERY anonymous if he is uncomfortable....this way he has an outlet, without leaving home...2 chat rooms, this board, e-mail for private questions and stuff...and a FANTASTIC pool of been-there, done-that knowledge!
    Hugs, Kathi
  • mattswife
    mattswife Member Posts: 1
    #3
    Hi shamoto. I'm almost in the same boat as you. My husband was diagonsed 01/17/06. He has had 6 weeks of chemo(5fu)/radation combo. He is scheduled for surgery on 05/25/06. He will have his colon removed and he also will have an ileostomy bag for life. He was 37 when diagonsed and turned 38 6 days later. It's been one shocker after another. We went to the 1st surgeon who stated " he could remove his entire colon and hook him back together and he would be better than ever, he'd never know it was gone" HA HA!!!!...Then we met with the 2nd surgeon who said just the reverse of #1. Since then, we have done our homework and asked Lots of questions and found #2 the most honest, and that #1 was full of S***....(no pun intended).
    So I know where you at and coming from. Talking is the best for all....
    Hope everything goes good and that your husband gets over being a home body and starts to enjoy the life he faught for.
    I have a quick question, how old is your husband?
    P.S. I can tell you something that I was told, "There is professional athletes out there with ileostomy bags and that no one would know it unless they raise up their shirts." I don't know any names now, but it's something to think about. Hopefully your husband can once again lead a full and productive live as before cancer side-tracked him.
    See you soon
    Good Luck Robin
  • sunfish
    sunfish Member Posts: 13
    #4
    Hi Shamoto,

    I just joined this message board a few days ago, and I can tell you - both you AND your husband will gain friends, knowlege, and a ton of support here. I hope he joins, too. There are - unfortunately - a lot of us 30-somethings here, myself included. My oncologist told me that his patients who have strong support systems fair a LOT better than those who don't. You both will find that here.

    Best to you both,
    Jackie
  • debralla
    debralla Member Posts: 203 Member
    #5
    sunfish said:

    Hi Shamoto,

    I just joined this message board a few days ago, and I can tell you - both you AND your husband will gain friends, knowlege, and a ton of support here. I hope he joins, too. There are - unfortunately - a lot of us 30-somethings here, myself included. My oncologist told me that his patients who have strong support systems fair a LOT better than those who don't. You both will find that here.

    Best to you both,
    Jackie

    Hello
    I was diagnosed this past Nov stage 4 .I was at first in a state of shock by my news . Then the depression set in and my nerves I didn't want to see anyone let alone go outside. All I did was cry . Something that is harder for some men .I finally was put on a anti-depressant which helped a lot .One of the reason I didn't want to go out was because I just couldn't handle seeing people that I knew .They would give me a hug and say were praying for you . And then I would break and just start crying right there in public. I finally decided to "Baby step" my way back out . The first time was the hardest Then it got easier the more I went out. Maybe it was the anti-depressant or just me coming to grips with my diagnoses . Coming to this site helped me a lot as well. I have also started listening to a progressive relaxation Cd that my Dr. gave me.Maybe you could get him to join us and read some of the past post . I was a lurker for about a month before I finally joined in .
    TAKE CARE AND GOD BLESS.
    DEBRA
  • 3greatkids
    3greatkids Member Posts: 45
    #6
    Hi there, and welcome. What a great place this is to ask questions, trust me, I have asked many and received such wonderful advice. My husband was dx. in sept. 05 stage 3,at 39, had to have a temp. illiostomy which will be reversed in July, however it was so tramatic when he was told this news. However in saying that, now he is so happy that he did get it. It has made everything so much easier. You would not even know that he has one, and he does everything that he used to do (except swim, however that is also possible). I am sure your husband will soon start to venture out, perhaps there is something that he used to enjoy doing that you could suggest for the two of you to do together. Give him SO much support as I realized that this was a time when my husband really needed to know that I loved him no matter what. All of these changes to ones body can really take it's toll on a person both mentally and physically. We had chemo/rad before surgery, then surgery and we are just finishing up our last week of chemo (4 months) next week (YIPEE). Anyhow, I hope you find the answers you are looking for, stay strong, and many people told me here, make sure you take time out for yourself, as you will need it.
    Thinking of you and your family
    Sylvia
  • shamoto
    shamoto Member Posts: 2
    #7
    mattswife said:

    Hi shamoto. I'm almost in the same boat as you. My husband was diagonsed 01/17/06. He has had 6 weeks of chemo(5fu)/radation combo. He is scheduled for surgery on 05/25/06. He will have his colon removed and he also will have an ileostomy bag for life. He was 37 when diagonsed and turned 38 6 days later. It's been one shocker after another. We went to the 1st surgeon who stated " he could remove his entire colon and hook him back together and he would be better than ever, he'd never know it was gone" HA HA!!!!...Then we met with the 2nd surgeon who said just the reverse of #1. Since then, we have done our homework and asked Lots of questions and found #2 the most honest, and that #1 was full of S***....(no pun intended).
    So I know where you at and coming from. Talking is the best for all....
    Hope everything goes good and that your husband gets over being a home body and starts to enjoy the life he faught for.
    I have a quick question, how old is your husband?
    P.S. I can tell you something that I was told, "There is professional athletes out there with ileostomy bags and that no one would know it unless they raise up their shirts." I don't know any names now, but it's something to think about. Hopefully your husband can once again lead a full and productive live as before cancer side-tracked him.
    See you soon
    Good Luck Robin

    Hi Robin

    They told us the same thing, they would hook the small intestines to the rectum and he would be as good as new. Needless to say thats not what happen. We were at the cancer doctor yesterday, he is clear at this point but he did say that they are 100% sure he would produce more polyps. My husband has a gentic multation, which cause him to produce many poylps. When he had his colonoscopy they found 50 or so. So he will need to be screened quite often to keep ahead of it. Mikes surgeon also told us about the professional athletes who have ileostomy bags, NFL Football players. We live in Maryland and Mike had his surgery at Georgetown University Hospital. Excellent place, he couldn't have received better care. I wish all the best to you and your husband I know the road you are traveling down, there might be ups and down but you will get through it. If you have questions feel free to ask. Oh yeah my husband is 33 years old. One thing Mikes surgeon told him: Recovery after surgery is 2 steps forward and 1 step back!!!!!!!! and thats about how is was for Mike the whole way through. Its nice to chat w/ someone who is going though the same thing.

    You and your husband are in our thoughts and prayers.
    Take Care
    Marsha

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