really worried about my dad

jessjakem · May 2006

I am new here and I really need some advice or someone to tell me this is all normal. My dad was dx with stage II rectal. He had chemo and radiation before surgery, then had surgery with a colostomy, now 3 weeks after surgery he started chemo again. I have never seen him so depressed and exhausted. He never eats which has made him lose a pound a day. He has lost 50lbs since dx. The doctor told him to stop taking the chemo pills b/c he wants to check to see why he is losing so much weight. Do you think the cancer is back or was it too soon to start chemo after the surgery? He is also having back pain. I would appreciate your advice.

littlejulie · May 2006

Hi there,
I can understand your concern but while the doctors look into it try to calm your worries. My mother had stage 3 rectal and has been cancer free for almost 2 years. She had back pain while going through the treatment as well. We think it might be from all the time she spent on the 'throne' : ) Spending all that time in the washroom can cause back pain. 50 pounds is a lot of weight. You did say he wasn't eating though and maybe it just because of that.

Hope everything works out.

Julie

alihamilton · May 2006

I am so sorry to hear about your father. If everything went well with the surgery, 3 weeks to start chemo sounds ok. I wonder why he is not eating? Is it that he just has no appetite, or is he feeling nauseous and food tastes bad, which it can while on chemo. If he is depressed, then that might well affect his appetite. How has he responded generally to his diagnosis? His stage has a high rate of survival.

Are you able to get him talk about his feelings so you can get a better idea about how he is feeling. Some people (especially men!) find it difficult to express feelings, but it might help him to "let it all out" How is he dealing with the colostomy? Sorry....loads of questions, but answers may explain the loss of weight.

Take care of yourself too.

Ali

mindy10 · May 2006

Hi I know how it is to worry about your dad. My dad has stage 4 and is very very depressed. He has lost over 25 pounds since he has been dx and I think its a combination of depression, not eating, and the chemo. Everytime he is on chemo he loses at least 10 pounds. I also think chemo makes you depressed because everytime he was on chemo he would go into a state of depression. Exhaustion also is from the chemo and could be from depression. My dad sleeps pretty much all day on and off. How long ago was he diagnoses?

Betsydoglover · May 2006

Hi there -

I understand why you are worried and losing 50 lb is huge. I was Stage IV and so completely different from your Dad, but my appetite was completely suppressed after surgery. I didn't start chemo until 7 weeks after surgery (with Avastin - which can cause bleeding - they want to make sure you are totally healed from surgery). But, my appetite was still suppressed when I started. However, I only lost about 20 lbs altogether and by my third chemo cycle was back to what at least passes for a relatively normal appetite.

Since your Dad is not eating, maybe you all should work on getting him small meals of whatever food is even slightly appealing. I had a friend of mine undergoing breast cancer chemo at the same time tell me that the only things she could eat were the foods of her childhood - Kraft mac 'n cheese, French fries, chicken noodle soup etc. I sort of felt that way too - lousy nutrition, but better than nothing. So you might try that route with your Dad. Also multiple very small meals may be more palatable than the more standard 3 / day.

Take care,
Betsy

jessjakem · May 2006

Thank you all so much for your advice. We went to see the doctor today and he thinks my dad had a flu bug during his first infusion and that is why he reacted so badly. He wants him to start his chemo back up tomorrow. Sometimes I think I freak out over anything and everything. Thank you again.

really worried about my dad

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