Guilt

pwdrkeg12
pwdrkeg12 Member Posts: 1
edited March 2014 in Gynecological Cancers (other than ovarian and uterine) #1
After 4 uterine biopsies came back positive for precancerous cells, my gyn sent me to a gyn oncologist. We discussed options, and because I've had 4 DnCs that didn't alleviate a host of other difficulties I have, and after I learned from him that 30 percent of women who have what I had found out they had full-blown cancer after a hysterectomy, I opted for a total abdominal hysterectomy/oophorectomy on 1/26/06.

Well, I was part of that 30 percent. I learned I had uterine cancer, that it was very early and hadn't spread out of the uterus (he checked my lymph nodes and they were clean). I have to go back to the oncologist every 3 months for the next few years to make sure the cancer hasn't come back, but that's it. No radiation, no chemo, and an excellent prognosis. I thank God every day for his blessings on me.

My psychologist has suggested I visit some cancer support groups to help cope with some of the feelings I am going through, but I can't get myself to go because I feel guilty that I got out too "easy." It's like how can I consider myself a cancer survivor because I didn't have to go through "traditional" cancer treatments, like my father, who lost his battle with multiple myloma in Sept. 2004. I have seen what this disease can do, and compared to that, it's like, what the heck am I complaining about?

Just wondered if anyone else out there has any suggestions. Thanks for listening.

Erica

Comments

  • kaiepooh
    kaiepooh Member Posts: 52
    #2
    HI Erica,

    I am sorta in the same boat as you. I too have a dnc with positive pre-cancer cell dection. I saw a gyn/onc and i am having a hysterectomy in April. he told me that 40% of women have cancer. they are leaving my ovaries in if it is cancer free so that i don't go into surg medopause. I am 39 and still grieving the loss of my husband to cancer in march of 2005. I feel the same as you that people suffer so much with this terrible diease so who am i to complain but cancer is cancer no matter the out come of treatment. talking to some one may help or get involved in something that gives back to American cancer society that no one should ever suffer again. i am doing that for Relay For Life. that is what got me threw in my loss. I hope to be able to do a little something to help the big picture. Good luck in what ever you choose to do.i hope this helped. Also please join the chat group in here it really does help. they are a great bunch of people.
    Karen
  • groundeffect
    groundeffect Member Posts: 639 Member
    #3
    I have had similar feelings. I found out I had uterine cancer after a "mini" biopsy was done, and then found I also had ovarian cancer when I woke up from my hysterectomy. O.K., so that's the bad news-the really good news was that they were both low stage - uterine 1b, and ovarian 1c. Because the ovarian was 1c, I had to have chemo, but I've had to research both kinds, and am comfortable with not having the uterine treated with radiation.

    I was scared, and not totally reassured that I have not much to fear regarding the those cancers returning, so I started going to a support group for genecologic cancer survivors. They are all survivors of ovarian cancer; I'm the only one with uterine as a "dual".

    You're still fresh from your experience. I'm sure if you go to a support group, you'll feel much more appreciative of your situation, and will feel less guilty. I've felt guilty quite a lot, especially after hearing some of the difficutlties my fellow group members have had, but I've gotten over that feeling. I'm just more grateful than ever for my second chances!

    You know you were very fortunate to have had the opportunity to have had your slate be cleared. If you feel it would help you feel better to help those who didn't have your good fortune, maybe you could volunteer to help at an American Cancer Society office, or to help with a Relay for Life.
  • alliesnene
    alliesnene Member Posts: 20
    #4
    Hugs to you Erica!!! My case is very similar to yours, hystory of DNC's and the last showing pre-cancerous cells. When I saw my onc/gyno she confirmed stage 1 uterine cancer. So at age 36, complete hysto, and to be on the safe side had ovaries removed too. I was dx'd with thyroid cancer 5 years earlier, and to this day I am still in the battle. I have to say, I never felt guilty about not having to go through chemo or rads for my uterine cancer. What I felt mostly was gratitude. The surgery itself was painful. I watched my grandmother die of cancer and saw her suffering. And have many friends here in CSN who fight the battle, go through evasive treatments, etc.
    Erica, please celebrate your good fortune at catching your cancer at an early stage!!! We shouldn't feel guilty for being blessed!
    Jen

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