Severe Depression

Tanya732 · February 2006

I had my first round of chemo over a week ago. I lost 8 pounds because I was not able to eat and when I did it was very little. I am happy to report I am eating normal again. My MAIN concern is this damned depression I was in. I have a history of depression and I am already taking anti-depressants. For five days I had panick attack after panick attack and uncontrollable crying. I did not want to do anything nor did I wan to hear any suggestions of what to do. My oncologist added Zyprexa to my anti-depressant regimen and on day two of taking it I feel like I can handle things again. Does chemo and emotions get better after each treatment? I can't imagine being back in that black hole I was in, it was horrific.

ksfc · February 2006

Tanya, I have a history of anxiety and like you was already on anti-depressants when I started chemo. What I discovered is that both the steroids given with treatment and some of the anti-nausea drugs can cause depression and anxiety. Once I realized that this only affected me for a few days after treatment, I could deal with it better. It will get better. What you are going through is traumatic to your body and your emotions. Take good care of yourself! - Diane

mc2001 · February 2006

Hi Tanya,
I am sorry to hear you are feeling so miserable. These inner pains you have are horrendous. I recommend having your doctor refer you to a psychiatrist. They are MD's and specialize in this area. Your oncologist is a specialist in his area, and depression and anxiety need a specialist. There are MANY medicines, and combinations that work synergistically to minimize or resolve the depression and anxiety. I will keep you in my prayers.
-Michael (leukemia survivor)

timlou · February 2006

I know you feel there is much to be depressed about but remember you are in good, healthy company turn here whenever you are feeling blue. Find support groups in your area and never let that black hole win you are fighting a courageous battle and you will win with the help of friends family and even strangers. Hang in there and remember always you are not alone. Louise

24242 · February 2006

When I went through treatment phase of my disease I just resigned and did whatever it was they wanted me to do. It felt like I was in some dream most of the time, too sick to do anything and sicker after each chemo. Radiation was actually worse than expected but got through it all. It wasn't till sometime later when something dramatic happened, the loss of one of my son's friends in shooting incident, that my son was also involved in, I felt the whole world close in on me. I had spent the last 11 months making sure I was ok and not allowing my disease to get me down. Then in an instant it all blew up in my face and I truly thought I would have a nervous breakdown. IT seemed like everything was too much and I couldn't get over how close once again I had been to loosing my own son. To this day 9 years later my heart still breaks for the mother who has had to learn to live without her son. No one seemed to understand my pain since I seemed to fly through all my treatments without really skipping a beat but then something like this happens and I fell totally apart.
It is hard keeping it all together it seems and usually we are keeping it together for others when in fact we don't feel at all strong inside. With time our soul strength increases and we can actually feel strong emotionally once again. I think we have to be careful and learn to treat ourselves as we do our best friend something that we neglect, ourselves.
Be good to yourself always,
Tara

KathiM · February 2006

Tanya,
My dear, I can imagine what you are going through. I am a two-time survivor, and that has just been in the last year. As far as the not eating, try ginger or ginger ale. It settles the stomach without adding any more drugs. Also, if the anti-nausea drugs are not working, ask your oncologist for something else. ZOFRAN seemed to work for me. As far as the depression and panics, that is normal for all of us...its just an awful experience. Ask about Prozak...seemed to help one of my friends. Do something just for you EVERY day...and ask for help if something isn't working. Reality is this is a fight for your life, and you need to remember that you can't let the cancer win by stopping treatment. Between both of my cancers, I lost 30 pounds, my hair, and part of my rectum. But I WILL NOT let it win. Part of my secret weapon is anger, not at anyone including myself, but at this thing that DARES to take over. I arm myself with knowledge. And realize there will be a time that I will be past this. But is it HELL, you bet.

krkath · February 2006

Hi Tanya,
Just writing to see how you're doing. I too was in that deep dark hole during treatment but maintained on my Xanax. I was such a mess before my treatment and ALL the waitng, the surgeries, the chemo and radaition....This is embarrassing, but I lost control of my bowels twice. Had to borrow a friends pair of sweats. I was SO SCARED.
At 7 months, I still have terrible leg pain, and I know it's hard when you're going through it, but keep the faith and know there are a lot of us fighting the fight along with you. Our thoughts and Prayers are with you.
I hope the meds you are taking are helping.
I hope you have the energy to respond. It has helped me so much to communicate with all the other women going through their difficult stories and listening to their advice. People really DO care. You are not alone!
Kathy

dhwhiting · April 2006

I have been through cancer treatment and finished 4 months ago. I also have a hx of depression/anxiety. It was there during treatment, but I had a very difficult time when treatment was all over. I think it all hit me how serious all of it really was. A little delayed reaction. I would recommend drug/therapy combo including exercise if at all possible. I know it's hard when you are going through all this! Hang in there...I will if you will

Severe Depression

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